Believing in better for myself

  I have been opening up my life to abundance for quite a while now, several years in fact and there has been a tremendous amount of change going on for me. There has definitely been some ups and downs, but I have come a long way from where I started the journey. I have manifested many things in my life the way I would want them, but there are still a few bugbears that are proving resilient to my efforts.
   Good company, purpose and a meaningful life have all come around for me. Yet finding meaning and fulfillment in my financial and work spheres is proving exceptionally tough to manifest. I have stepped out of my old patterns and moved into the flow of abundance with the universe and it is easy to see it at work in much of my life. Synchronicities happen almost daily for me and there is a feeling of hope. So with this in mind I asked for a dream last night to show me how and where I was going wrong in this area.
   The dream took place in a pub (presumably in the UK) in which I was a cleaner there. I was working for one of my old bosses who I had never had the greatest respect for. I happened to be cleaning around the bar area where the manager of the pub and his fellows were sitting around. They looked like shady mafia types and they ended up holding down and murdering another figure on the bar with a stake to the solar plexus. They seemed either unaware or unbothered by me being there, until the manager noticed me and told me I needed to go clean the roof. I felt like protesting that it was not part of my duties but was concerned that I might be the next victim and I should stay on his best side.
   There were other elements to the dream, such as having difficulty finding a working bathroom stall (problems elimination negative energy) and talking with Dan Akroyd in an airport waiting lounge (not sure about this part!).
    The first part of the dream seemed such a familiar situation in my experiences, I feel shame in recognising this as a regularly occurring situation. I seem to end up with low vibration jobs that put me in a situation in which I feel there is no acceptable way out and with the feeling that there is nothing better out there for me. This creates a vicious cycle in which I am forced back into those very type of work situations. This cycle of belief has kept me pinned in a trap of feeling disappointment and shame.
     The fear of finding nothing better has hardened into a belief so strong that it feels like a certainty. When something has that kind of solidity within your energy system you cannot help but manifest it for oneself, regardless of how many sugary affirmations you sprinkle over it. You are numb to the possibilities that may array themselves before you and deaf to the knocking of opportunity.
    I have experienced life without this belief when I first went travelling simply because I suspended my beliefs in taking that first step, but as is often the case with deeply held ideas they came to the surface eventually and return the status quo.
     Seeing my bosses "murder" other individuals has happened several times for me and I have allowed it to occur because of the fear that there is no other real options for me. And because of my solid belief that there is no other options it takes on a horrible reality.
    I have seen this dynamic at work within my family especially. We have had a pattern of allowing ourselves to become entrenched in a miserable situation and not leave it because of the fear there is no other options. My family owns a holiday home in the south of Italy and my parents hired an unscrupulous and criminal individual who has proven himself false time and time again. Yet this happens because there is a pervasive fear that there are no other options out there.
   Letting go of the fear alone is not enough as it will only creep back in again when no new dynamic comes to replace it. Replacing it is an absolutely necessary, even if it flies in the face of all past experience. One must find the counter belief and install it. So, with that in mind.... There is something better for me out there, something that fits with me perfectly. I have experienced this truth many times before in other areas of my life and now I am going to experience it on the material level.