The issue of judgement is one that naturally arises when one considers any form of justice. The phrase "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven" is a biblical quote from Luke. This falls in with what I was talking about in my last posting, that what you create returns to you.
During my meditation this morning I suddenly became aware of a hypocrisy within the way that I live and it was related to the idea of judgement and intolerance.
I find it difficult to be tolerant of issues cropping up in others that I have already worked through. My patience for dealing with such things seems to be limited as though part of me is saying "What? You haven't learnt this already?". Even if I only just figured it out myself in that moment! It is like I suddenly flip to having known it all along and become frustrated with the ignorance of the person still struggling for clarity... I am aware of how silly and irrational this is..now at least.
Yet at the same time if I haven't figured something out yet, I will plead for clemency and ask for more understanding from the judging person. It is as though I embody both the judge and the accused. It is though I can see myself in both roles, I judge a person ignorant, condemn them for it and I am merciless until they are proven "innocent" by overcoming the ignorance. At the same time in the other role I find it hard to overcome certain obstacles and encounter a cold judgement from what seems the universe until I figure it out. Often being placed in a type of purgatory until I can remove the difficulty.
Seeing it this way allows me to understand the judge within me that is also the accused party. I can sense the energy of judgement within me and in return I find myself judged, all on an internal level. This in turn affects how I live my life in the world and the way that it reacts to me.
Others in my life have pointed this hard judgement out to me before, but I have not been able to understand it on a deep enough level and so I have faced their judgement...which in turn is only a reflection of my own self. The key to this..the antidote energy as it were, is compassion and understanding. I need to be able to see myself in the role of the accused and feel an empathy for their struggle. To be able to reach out a hand to those that still suffer in compassion rather than judgement and in doing so the world will lend a hand to me out of the same feeling.
Because I understand now the mechanisms that underlie the issue, when the feelings of intolerance and judgement arise in me once more, then I can note them and move beyond them to treat the situation with compassion and understanding. This will help reprogram my own patterns and I will be able to avoid getting stuck that groove again.
Looking back over how I deal with myself I see that I sentence myself to periods of purgatory until I "learn", rather than rehabilitating myself with more positive behavioural methods. The judicial system is alive within me it seems...thank goodness I don't practice capital punishment for my inmates!
There is also another part that is still unresolved which is preventing me from closing this blog just yet. It is the way in which I treat the inmates I guess and maybe even than I see them as inmates. I don't wish for my life to resemble a correctional facility for unruly elements. It is in trying to find a balance with helping these elements grow and reach their potential without placing them in confinement until they reach maturation. Ideally each element would be loved and nurtured regardless of their unruly nature but firmly prevented from ruling or governing any other parts until they have reached the point they can successfully do so without causing harm.
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