Giving the benefit of the doubt

  Relaxing in the bath and musing over the events of the day I had a little Eureka moment of my own.
  What I had been musing on was a phrase I tend to use often which is "giving someone the benefit of the doubt". I hadn't really considered this phrase before even though I use it fairly regularly and it has become a dictum by which I try and live my life.
   The dictionary defines it as "to believe something good about someone, rather than something bad, when you have the possibility of doing either". I tend to do this as a matter of course, believing it to be a fair and gentlemanly way to conduct oneself. Lately however I have a feeling that this modus operandi is not working in my favour.
    If I am unbalancing the scales in someone's favour, then it can hide all number of deceits that individual may perform. Surely fairness is better than offering a skewed scale, even if it is one that would seem to favour peaceful resolution (and possible conflict avoidance). Provided that the individual never tips the scale beyond a certain point, then it is likely I will not do anything to redress the balance.
   The maxim certainly doesn't seem very effective when the person in question is someone who tends to operate by sowing doubt about their actions. By creating a reasonable doubt they can hide all number of ills, when my gut is telling me the opposite.
    I have begun to consider that people who sow doubts, especially in yourself are usually up to no good. The margin of error I give them may well be the inch of rope I hang myself with. Most actual reasonable people do not give regular reason to doubt them or their motives and if they do they are more than willing to come clean and unashamedly open themselves up to scrutiny.
    This of course only needs to occur when a person gives you a reason to doubt them or their motives and if they prove themselves to be true, then an apology is often unnecessary.
      In my own life and the life of people around me recently I have seen a slew of people trying to shift blame and to place seeds of doubt in others. This is especially effective if the victim has a strong sense of conscience as a highly conscientious person does not wish to be placing blame on another without sufficient evidence. The people involved in doing so have used a number of different tactics to achieve their aims such making the victim responsible for their own bad treatment, creating a sense of reasonable doubt, asking for evidence and many other tactics.
    Zoe and I have recently been watching a slew of crime shows from the obsessive compulsive Monk, to the little Belgian (Poirot) and our recent pleasure is Castle. One thing I have gleaned from the shows is that when the murderer starts talking about evidence he is clearly guilty of something. The detectives in the shows cannot afford to give the benefit of the doubt as reasonable doubt plays into every situation they are in. Of course at the end, evidence is necessary to create the case and put the guy/girl away, but they seek evidence from all parties, including the innocent parties. If this is obstructed then there is a reason to be suspicious.
    Often in my life I find that I am easily thrown off by a profession of innocence or a person creating doubt, rather than a lack of a evidence. In fact I would go so far as to say I ignore evidence to make things fit into a situation in which there will be no wrongdoing.
   Maybe this comes from my belief that all people at their core are good. This I do feel truly, even if the person is not aware of it, but I have failed to take into account that the person who feels that way will act in accordance with their beliefs. If a person believes that they are bad, that the universe is unfair or that they have to get one up on others to survive, they will act in accordance with this regardless of whether it is true or false. They will seek to perpetuate their belief systems because they believe them to be true. I can't rely on that core level of goodness to help me out, because that person is not in touch with that element of themselves. I am not here to prove them wrong, but I can take steps to avoid being stung by such pessimists by recognising their ability to act in accordance with their core beliefs regardless of their veracity.
    This little insight into human behaviour has just given me the ability to look at situations without a bias towards the positive..which believe it or not...is a positive thing!