7 of Cups. Day dreaming and indulgence

  The 7 of Cups is an unusual looking card, it has plenty of bright and attractive looking objects placed in the cups. The figure however, the one we are meant to presume represents us is darkened by shadow and is in sharp contrast to the luminescence of the rest of the card.
    This card, for all it's attractiveness is one of the more difficult cards to work through (at least for me). It represents various desires that are ungrounded and fantastical. Castles in the sky.
   Today is the release date for a new video game (Mass Effect 3) and it is the finale in a series that has been running for a number of years. The desire to play this and to sink into the unconsciousness it promises is strong for me. I would imagine the main storyline of the game would taken no less than 60 hours to complete. That is equivalent to a full work week or more and given that this is an estimate for a quick playthough, it would likely span  much more than that.
   There is nothing inherently wrong with playing the game, nor the idea of spending my time in a leisure activity. But, at the beginning of the year I promised myself that I would set aside my controller to focus more heavily on my work and business and other aspects of my life. At this point a 60+ hour investment in a solely imaginary realm is more than I wish to invest. Also a few of my friends wish to have a weekend long gaming marathon this coming weekend which I would love to partake in and another distraction would be ruinous.
     The figure on the card has lots of options and they all look enticing. There is a floating female head, one presumes representing a desirable dream partner. A ghostly figure represents a mysterious glowing figure cloaked in cloth, which may represent a chance for spiritual illumination. A snake crawls from the third cup, promising either earthly desires or wisdom depending on one's associations. The fourth cup shows a castle, maybe a house or land (or even a tower eerily similar to the one in The Tower card). The fifth spills forth jewels and gems, tempting one with abundance and wealth. The sixth card has a laurel wreath, promising glory, honour and victory (but the skull on the cup shows this may come with a price). The seventh cup holds a blue dragon, the temptations of the lower realms and sloth. The cups represents the myriad of forms that our temptations can take, some more attractive than others.
     If the games were the only desirable temptations, then things would be easy and I could stick to my convictions. As the card suggests, there are a plethora of choices and I find myself trying to choose how to prioritize my time and finances to make the best of the options. Do I save it for food or spend it on the new shoes I could use in my martial arts? Do I go to class tonight and possibly leave myself short for other options? In the end one could choose none, but still achieves nothing.
     This card is known as the card of illusory success and it is easy to see why. With so many choices open, it looks like success is within easy grasp, but every choice is a choice not to select the other options and the fear that they may all disappear like a mirage even if one does reach for them.
    The figure is faced with an illusion, none of the cups are real and all the choices float on a cloud. All they serve to do is to delay, confuse and exhaust the querent as they are forced to evaluate and re-evaluate their options. The fear present is that one may choose the wrong cup and find it is not what they want at all, or that they must forsake all options but one. Even abstaining from choice is an interaction with the energy present in the card.
     Like all mirages and illusions, one must see through them and not allow them to lead you astray from the path. There are plenty of mythological analogies of beings who are there to tempt one from the real road with offers of riches or fame, or of that we really want. We read of it happening in our favourite books or films and scream at the protagonists that the mirage is not really there, that it is leading them astray, yet when faced in life with the very same situations how easy it is to justify our desires. It might not be a proverbial castle or image of  your mother calling your name, it may simply be security, enjoyment or a cessation of our worries and fears. When the sirens of our own desires call, can we hold fast to our true course...or do we dive from our ships only to find it was all an illusion and we have left the path behind?

 

Learning to have faith

  Faith is one of those prickly topics. It is inextricably tied up with belief and by association with religion and spirituality.
   It is a word used with scorn by skeptics and as a shield for those who lack the necessary evidence to have certainty in their views.
   Never-the-less it is absolutely necessary to have this quality in ourselves and those we trust. Life is not a science experiment that can be measured, repeated and subject to peer review. There are far too many permutations in our daily lives that we can have absolute certainty in every action we do. We must take action every day, that much is a certainty. Even not acting has consequences that cannot be measured before time.
    Faith is trusting in something even though there is not enough evidence to make it a certainty. Its opposite, doubt, is mistrusting because we lack the necessary evidence to make it a certainty. You can see they are exactly the same action but with either a negative or positive mindset attached.
    Applying doubt or faith to an external source such as a human being or a belief system is a luxury that we have the option of not choosing. But this doesn't hold true for ourselves. We must all make choices in this imperfect system without the benefit of absolute certainty. Thus we are given the choice to have faith or doubt in ourselves that we will make the best choices for our lives.
    Doubting oneself is a terrible burden, for with it carries guilt for every action that was not completed perfectly. For myself I have found that doubt has been at the root of many of my own personal recriminations. That I listened to the whispered voice of personal doubt, which makes feeling guilty so much easier. If I already doubt my choices to begin with, then guilt is so much easier to overlay.
      Trusting oneself is what lays beneath this. Without trust in oneself, it is easy to doubt...then from there to accept guilt for our choices. Fostering the goodness within us, we learn to trust and from there to have faith in ourselves and our choices even in the face of having no certainties.
      There are times when I have felt a certainty in my choices and then trusting myself becomes easier, times when I have felt totally attuned or a faultless sense of conviction in my actions. But these times are intermittent at best and you cannot live your life only from these moments. Doubts will assail us all, but only by having a faith in ourselves can we banish these imps back to the shadows.
       Recently I have had reason to doubt myself and it has caused a cascade of doubt to run through my self and to cause cracks in the walls of my convictions. It was as simple as missing a call. Working part time at the healing centre means I am on call if someone should show up and need a treatment. I missed the call by 10 minutes because I chose to take a walk and return long after it would be possible to do anything about it. It is one of those silly situations you see in movies but minimized to almost triviality, where a character doubts themselves for some consequence they feel they could have prevented by making an earlier choice differently. I know that there is no way I could have known to stay in, yet still the doubt lingers. Unlike other situations there is no-one but myself making me feel guilty.
       This guilt is made possible by my doubts. I don't doubt the bigger decisions in my life, the ones backed by righteousness, conviction or insight. I trust and have faith in my decisions on a larger scale. I know I am a good person and don't doubt I will make the right choice. It is the little everyday choices, the ones that have little or nothing resting upon them where doubt lives.
     Another incident occurred recently during my snow shovelling job. It was my first day and there was a pretty heavy snowfall I had to clear. I was working with new colleagues and it was laborious and physically demanding work. At one point I ended up working with the maintenance supervisor to clear a pathway. He is not part of my work detail, but the building's head maintenance guy so I was unsure of my hierarchical position in regards to him. He asked me to clear a certain pathway and then came back later I get the feeling to "check-up" on me. I was clearing a section of pathway that had tiny rivulets running through it and he told me that I should shovel it with the rivulets, rather than across them. I had found it made no discernible difference, yet he continued throughout the day to make tiny observations about our equipment, how much we had cleared and the time taken. My instinctive reaction was that the guy is behaving like a jackass, but my own doubts stopped me from putting a stop to the comments.
       These situations have a gravity of their own and after a multitude of minor hesitations on my part it all adds up to a major hesitation. The sense of independence, personal strength and integrity comes tumbling back down again. Realizing that a battle can be lost not through a major defeat but through steady attrition of faith in oneself makes it all the more important to stop the trickling losses.
       So the question remains. How does one learn to have faith in oneself if you are prone to self-doubt? The answer lies in trust. Trusting that you will make the right choices, even if they do not occur reflexively at first. This unconsciously doing the right thing does not immediately occur as soon as you understand it. For most of us it requires time and patience, it requires making mistakes, trusting the wrong people and being taken advantage of at first. Not everyone has a hyperactive defense system and for me coming from the position of giving people the benefit of the doubt too much...of caring and not wanting to hurt unnecessarily, it means that a mistake is the cost of learning. Over time I will get better at it, I will see the danger in the grass before stepping. I will trust my inner knowing, that gut instinct and give it credence and eventually be able to put it immediately into play.
     
     

I want never gets, a legacy of guilt.

   I have recently been opening up the rest of my energy system to kundalini energy. I have run into a deadly trap within my own system and it has been holding me up for a long while. Thankfully with help from some of my dreams I am making headway.
    Many years ago I had my first kundalini awakening, I discuss it fully in one of my first posts here. Suffice to say that it only opened up the energy in the upper part of my torso, arms, head and neck included. The energy didn't fully flow down into my lower torso or legs especially around the root chakra. I didn't think much of it at the time as the experience was new to me to begin with. It was only much later that I discovered that the energy within me was not fully balanced.
   The problem became a little more pronounced later, causing me to suffer from a restless leg style side effect which I later discovered were kriyas. The energy was trying to equalize during the sleep cycles or during meditation and it was much too strong to happen without a lot of discomfort and pain.
   This continued for many years and I simply didn't know how to go about resolving it. Other healers were at a loss and the strong physical aspect of it only served to frighten. Recently (within the last year) I managed to discover and resolve the blockage that was causing so much disturbance with deep meditation, relaxation and giving in to the discomfort. There was also a large psychological element along with emotional affects which also needed to be worked on. The problem has not re-occurred and I can now sleep and meditate without this energy spike occurring.
     It seems as though the work on my legs and feet is not quite finished though. The legs and feet correspond to the material world and my connection to it. I still am running into numerous material issues, both financially and health wise. Financially the flow is more of a drip. Health wise, my hips, hamstrings, ankles and the soles of my feet are subject to tension and inflexibility. Both aspects seem a mirror of each other. The major blockage has been resolved, but the pathways are still blocked.
    A few nights ago I had a dream which elucidated the problem. In the dream I was trying to move down a corridor which had several branches. All along the floor were tiny holes from which arrows and needles would fire forth whenever I moved along the corridor. It made moving down the corridor at any speed both painful and difficult. There were several painted pathways on the ground in blue and red and the blue pathways seemed the easiest to traverse.
    It seemed a perfect analogy for the matter at hand. Trying to move energy (or even blood or fluids) through my legs was a painful and slow process subject to pain. The faster I attempted to stretch my legs and hips out the worse it would become. Unfortunately the rate at which it is comfortable to move is too slow and any faster movement causes pain. This, like trying to make headway in my financial life is intolerably slow and not something that can be suffered for the long term. Looking at the problem only served to cause frustration and depression as there seems to be no alternative.
   So, last night I took a walk to Walgreens (a 24hr pharmacy) ostensibly to pick up some hot chocolate and a drink for Zoe so I could give myself some space to think. As I walked through the campus late at night listening to my ipod a thought occurred to me. I believe it was Einstein that stated that "no problem can be solved at the level it was created". This serves well for any situation and I realised that I was looking at the situation all wrong.
   Rather than seeing the traps as the problem to be overcome I needed to regard the entire situation from a higher level. I have been looking at how the situation is defended and not why. My body/mind system is seeking to stop movement along the pathway, especially anything large or fast. So there is a movement of energy, but only in small chunks, or larger ones if I don't mind taking the hits. I had to consider why is this considered a threat that needs to be reduced or eliminated. 
     I knew that I could rely on my subconscious to eventually figure it out, so when I went to bed I took my notebook and a little reading light. It seems that between 1am and 3am is the best time for letting my mind hazily drift over the topics without distraction. Note: I did not think about it, I just let my mind kind of gaze at it...seeing out of the corner of my eye as it were.
    Part of me thought that it was likely to do with success, that maybe I had a fear of success. But this although fitting the scenario did not get any traction. Then I began to consider that achieving success might bring forth unwanted feelings or thoughts. I looked at my own attitude and realised that a part of me just thinks it isn't possible, that regardless of how hard I try things aren't going to work out for me. That I am just doomed to not get what I want. Now this thought rang a bell.
    Many years back when I had my first experience with kundalini I was working on a big issue for me which was finding my voice. I grew up being painfully shy and unable to express myself. In the end it all came down to what I had been reinforced with since I was a small child. It was the phrase "I want never gets". This maxim had been hammered into me as I grew up. If I said the dreaded phrase "I want" I would be berated and told that I was being VERY rude and given sour looks. Obviously I would be racked with guilt if ever such a phrase slipped out of my lips. Instead I had to phrase everything to cause minimum offense and so that my parents could feel okay with denying my wants, since they were no longer wants, but only very polite requests. All and any of my desires ran the risk of being vetoed. I had to be grateful for whatever I got, even if it wasn't what I wanted.
      Now this all where it began to make sense to me. The protective system is in place to save me from actually getting what I want and therefore doing something shameful and bad. I have worked through my issues enough to be able to express those wants and desires, but as for actually getting them? This idea of "I want never gets" has been so deeply inculcated that it literally stops it from occurring. For me it is a deep universal truth and while I may be able to deny its truth on a mental and verbal level, physically and emotionally it is still just as true as when I was 5 years old. My body literally battles against my mind and tries to protect me from shame and guilt. It leaves me with a legacy of never being fulfilled as it would be asking too much from my poor beleaguered parents. A ridiculous and outdated program in my own psyche.
     The key in this is turning those guardian forces around and to have them working for me rather than against me. They no longer need to protect me from guilt and shame, which are always seen as omnipresent threats for undesirable behaviour. Then I could stop projecting these parental figures onto any beings/organisations etc that might hold my well-being in their hands be it people, bosses or even the universe itself! I can say I want and not expect punishment.
    For my full understanding I must look at the reverse side of why someone would say that in the first place. From my own understanding it is from that person's poverty mindset. I feel that reasonable requests and desires are never really outside of the realm of possibility. A parent often feels that they have to provide everything for the child, but this is a fallacy of limited thinking. The parent is only the vessel of transmission from the universe to the child. If the parent believes that their own desires are not being fulfilled by the cosmos, then they are likely to pass on that mindset to the child, even if this is not actually true. My desires as a child were well within the bounds of possibility, often a new toy I really wanted or the gift of time and attention from a parent. My parents had been living in a scarcity mindset and they felt those things were not even achievable. This was not actually true and the few things I really needed would never have broken the bank. If they had taken the time to look at the needs of a family, they may have realised that their lives were out of alignment and found new and more fulfilling ways of living. They each made their choices and placed the burden of guilt upon me as a child for not being a party to their conspiracy of poverty. My desires were punished with guilt and had to be quieted or smothered for the benefit of not upsetting the status quo. If this legacy were theirs alone then this would be a different matter, but I now must spend my time digging up the bones of the past so I can be free of their influence.
     Seeing this, I can now be free of the guilt and shame that I have felt towards myself and start to really consider what to do from hereon out. It was never my guilt and shame, but that of my parents.
     Knowing this I can re-purpose those defenses to protect from further assaults designed to make me feel the  guilt or shame of another. When I feel a desire arise I can then process it and defend it from those who would seek to make me feel ashamed of natural wants and desires. Guilt is a feeling that arises from within and we do not have to accept it from an outside source, so now I can move forward without having to figure out when to defend against being guilted when I don't feel that way.
   
   

XVIII - The Moon. The shadow of self.

 The Moon is one of cards that is seen as ill-omened. That when  it turns up in a reading it can signify a period of difficulty. But like many of the so-called ill omened cards it is simply a matter of perspective and taking the correct attitude to the matters at hand.
    The Moon card has links to other Major Arcana. It is related to The Sun card and is viewed as its polar opposite. This may in fact be where a great deal of the mis-interpretation of the card comes into play. The Sun card is such a positive card, that one must think that the Moon card must necessarily be negative. The Sun card is about the inner child, whereas the Moon card is about another psychical construct....the Shadow.
      Carl Jung defined the shadow as the sum total of all that we do not wish to admit to within the psyche. This can be repressed elements or behaviours, attitudes or viewpoints. They do not necessarily need to be negative, but they often are. At worst, these elements given enough psychic power can fragment and cause a schizophrenic break. The psyche will often wall off these elements in order to preserve a level of functionality within the individual. For example if a society has a diminished view of sexuality, then sexual urges naturally become repressed within the normative individual. This gives the shadow aspect of the personality a portion of power which would normally have been reserved for healthy sexual function. If this reservoir of power exceeds a certain level, then the psyche attempts to vent this energy and this occurs in a way that is partitioned off from functioning consciousness so as to preserve a cohesive personality. If such a person encounters a situation, person or event that triggers a recognition of this repressed element within the psyche then they will often respond with revulsion or disgust.
       The card itself has a lot of interesting symbolism involved in it. The actual moon disk has a face upon it which has its eye's closed either in sleep or in pensive thought. There are rays springing forth from the disk, as the sun's light reflects from it. The disk itself is arranged as though you can see the moon in its phases, with a crescent, a half and a full moon. This links the card to sleep, dreams and semi-awareness. The darkness of the backdrop dictates that the card is set at night (you may think this obvious, but the moon is many times visible during the day).  Falling from the moon are fifteen yods (symbols of fiery fragments of the psyche) which look a little like tears falling upon the earth.
        To the side of the card we see two stone towers forming a portal or a pass between them. These towers can be seen on the Death card and represent the gateway to realms beyond. In the Death card, you can see a sunrise in the background, but here you only see a pathway going deep into the purple mountains of the backdrop. This shows that dream and sleep and the states in between are a gateway to areas of deeper darkness and mystery. The towers themselves are man made constructs and represent the limit of our understand of this realm and that the pathway leads past them. These towers have a single window in each, facing back towards the viewer. Passing into the realm of sleep requires we move past what is understood and the limited perspectives humanity currently has in these realms.
      In the middle of the card a wolf and a dog sit either side of the pathway. They represent the animal aspects our nature, on one side the domesticated dog and on the other the wild wolf. They show how close these aspects are to one another and the danger that lies on the path to the unconscious. We have our civilised instincts and our wilder instincts with us and on either side of the path we walk. The dog howls at the moon, showing that it is simply a wolf with a veneer of civility.
      At the base of the card, there is a crustacean crawling out from the depths of the water and beginning on the path. The water represents our emotions, our moods and how they are influenced by the moon and the tides and little consciousness we have of this.
     This card represents the perilous journey into the unconscious, from humble beginnings and through many great dangers. It shows the dangers our subconscious represents, the elements we keep hidden or lie just beneath the surface. It has a negative aspect only in that it without a knowledge of this realm, we are doomed to fall prey to its dangers. Only by taking the pathway with all its inherent dangers do we have any chance of reaching the light hidden by the moon.
    The pathway through the realms of the shadow are indeed difficult and are only really open to those who have tread the roads before this. They are incomprehensible and repugnant to those who are unwilling to face their own hidden aspects.
    There is a great deal to be seen in facing ones own shadow. It is a road I have walked and will continue to walk as difficult and unpleasant as it appears to be at points. It is the only way to liberate the aspects of ourselves and the powers that have fallen into the depths of the unconscious.
   When this card is drawn, it means it is a time to look deep within to find the parts of us that we wish to disown. The darkness that lies within us all and shows us that the line between the civilised dog and the wild wolf is not very great at all and without understanding what we are, there is no hope for our individuation. We must taken this primitive aspect of ourselves (represented by the crustacean) and take it to the light at the far end of the pathway. The fact that there is no light immediately obvious at the end of the pathway further indicates that this is not a simple task.
     This card for me talks of the difficult work that must be undertaken in order to make any real progress on the path. I had hoped to bring forth some examples of my own shadow aspects which I am currently working on, but like the card they are still shrouded in darkness and at best I am only semi-aware of them...I am still walking the path to bring them to light. They struggle to remain hidden and there is a part of me that doesn't wish to see them brought to light, even though I know it is for my benefit.

Giving the benefit of the doubt

  Relaxing in the bath and musing over the events of the day I had a little Eureka moment of my own.
  What I had been musing on was a phrase I tend to use often which is "giving someone the benefit of the doubt". I hadn't really considered this phrase before even though I use it fairly regularly and it has become a dictum by which I try and live my life.
   The dictionary defines it as "to believe something good about someone, rather than something bad, when you have the possibility of doing either". I tend to do this as a matter of course, believing it to be a fair and gentlemanly way to conduct oneself. Lately however I have a feeling that this modus operandi is not working in my favour.
    If I am unbalancing the scales in someone's favour, then it can hide all number of deceits that individual may perform. Surely fairness is better than offering a skewed scale, even if it is one that would seem to favour peaceful resolution (and possible conflict avoidance). Provided that the individual never tips the scale beyond a certain point, then it is likely I will not do anything to redress the balance.
   The maxim certainly doesn't seem very effective when the person in question is someone who tends to operate by sowing doubt about their actions. By creating a reasonable doubt they can hide all number of ills, when my gut is telling me the opposite.
    I have begun to consider that people who sow doubts, especially in yourself are usually up to no good. The margin of error I give them may well be the inch of rope I hang myself with. Most actual reasonable people do not give regular reason to doubt them or their motives and if they do they are more than willing to come clean and unashamedly open themselves up to scrutiny.
    This of course only needs to occur when a person gives you a reason to doubt them or their motives and if they prove themselves to be true, then an apology is often unnecessary.
      In my own life and the life of people around me recently I have seen a slew of people trying to shift blame and to place seeds of doubt in others. This is especially effective if the victim has a strong sense of conscience as a highly conscientious person does not wish to be placing blame on another without sufficient evidence. The people involved in doing so have used a number of different tactics to achieve their aims such making the victim responsible for their own bad treatment, creating a sense of reasonable doubt, asking for evidence and many other tactics.
    Zoe and I have recently been watching a slew of crime shows from the obsessive compulsive Monk, to the little Belgian (Poirot) and our recent pleasure is Castle. One thing I have gleaned from the shows is that when the murderer starts talking about evidence he is clearly guilty of something. The detectives in the shows cannot afford to give the benefit of the doubt as reasonable doubt plays into every situation they are in. Of course at the end, evidence is necessary to create the case and put the guy/girl away, but they seek evidence from all parties, including the innocent parties. If this is obstructed then there is a reason to be suspicious.
    Often in my life I find that I am easily thrown off by a profession of innocence or a person creating doubt, rather than a lack of a evidence. In fact I would go so far as to say I ignore evidence to make things fit into a situation in which there will be no wrongdoing.
   Maybe this comes from my belief that all people at their core are good. This I do feel truly, even if the person is not aware of it, but I have failed to take into account that the person who feels that way will act in accordance with their beliefs. If a person believes that they are bad, that the universe is unfair or that they have to get one up on others to survive, they will act in accordance with this regardless of whether it is true or false. They will seek to perpetuate their belief systems because they believe them to be true. I can't rely on that core level of goodness to help me out, because that person is not in touch with that element of themselves. I am not here to prove them wrong, but I can take steps to avoid being stung by such pessimists by recognising their ability to act in accordance with their core beliefs regardless of their veracity.
    This little insight into human behaviour has just given me the ability to look at situations without a bias towards the positive..which believe it or not...is a positive thing!
   
 
 

2 of Swords. Denial and innocence.

 The two of swords is all about denial. Most of the time this denial is not something we are consciously engaging in, but it there never-the-less.
   It is tough to be in denial. I think I am in denial about my current situation and this makes this card all the more pertinent. The two swords represent the two choices presented before us, usually in an either/or scenario. Both of these options are unenviable. For me it relates to a job situation that is currently occurring. It snowed last night and all today, and for a guy with a snow shoveling job it should be busy, busy, busy. But my phone remained remarkable silent regardless of my going to bed at 10am and preparing myself to rise at 5am.
    Now I am in the unenviable position of trying to decide how to respond. After the debacle on Friday with the job (he called at 5am with no prompting and was a jackass when I called him back) I have to decide if not being called on a severe weather warning day is a brush off or that he simply had no business (which seems very unlikely). My gut tells me he is trying to "punish" me for not being available for his call and is therefore getting off on a power trip.
   This is where the denial comes in. Denial would at first glance seem to serve me well. Just wait a while... maybe I am not seeing the situation right... The money would be very helpful right now... Maybe I really don't want to work and this is a convenient excuse to be as lazy as I have been accused of in the past...I should really give him the benefit of the doubt...
   The figure is dressed totally in white, even down to the blindfold. White is typically related to innocence and purity. Does this mean that the figure is innocent in their situation? It would seem so. So then maybe this innocence is related to the blindfold. It is pretty easy to deny something you are innocent of knowing. Innocence and ignorance are close bedfellows and the figure is not facing up to the situation because of the lack of information. In my situation, I do not have the luxury of knowing all the facts, I really can't see what is going on behind the scenes. So maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself.
   The two choices seem to be either retaliation or submission. I could either call him on his behaviour, or let it go. Neither seem that fun. While writing a shouty email would be cathartic, it may just lead to further unpleasantness (and face it unpleasantness is not a skill I worked on honing). It is also just playing the game...do I have to adopt shoutyness as a personality trait to deal with individuals like this? Submission is equally repulsive, but it does come with a possible cash payoff (and I could really do with the cash).
   Looking at the card the symbolism seems to point to another option. The figure has her arms crossed over her chest. This means she is covering and protecting her heart and her vulnerability. If I could just relax out of the situation so it doesn't seem like a fight or flight scenario then I might be able to step away from the adrenalised solutions that appear in my mind. Following a course that feels good really is the best option and maybe if I stop being in defensive mode then I can start seeing clearly.
    Behind her we also see the seashore. The sea is an ancient symbol for the unconscious and this shoreline looks a little rocky. Trying to navigate a reef with a blindfold is asking for trouble. With her blindfold, she is  not even aware of the sea behind her. It suggests a tool that can be used to help determine the correct course which she is not making use of.
    In my situation it seems like facing the situation and leaving it up to my subconscious to figure it out might be the best option. The moon suggests sleeping on it might not be too bad an idea. It is transitioning and the fact that it relates to emotion might suggest that I may feel different in the morning.
   In the end, it feels like I am innocent rather than truly in denial and choosing an option while I am still emotional and unable to see all the pieces of the puzzle would be a bad move. I do trust my intuitions and I am sure that my subconscious will deliver up to me the ideal solution for this situation!