King of Pentacles. Manifestation, fire and earth.

   The King of Pentacles is a strong earthy presence. His aspect is that of earth and fire. This card has had a lot to teach me, it has been sat on my desk here for a couple of days while I have come to understand some of what he has to bring.
    More than 5 years ago now I spent time with a gentleman name Craig Junjulas. He ran classes down in Sedona (as still does as far as I am aware) and I had the pleasure of having several private sessions with him in which he offered insights and helped me open further up in my own practise. At one point in a meditation we were doing he commented that I was like a King in armour sat upon a throne whose armour was covered in vines and roots and had become rusted and inflexible. That I occasionally would stir and break the bindings that had grown up around me, before settling down once more. The imagery stuck with me as it was a very apt description of myself. Upon drawing this card I am reminded again of that peculiar analogy.
   The King sits in a garden that has become overgrown and rampant. Branches, frond and leaves all creep up around the dark stone throne he sits upon. Rather than appearing dormant he looks very much aware, even if with his rich gown he appears to disappear into the background. His robes are covered in blue vines, somewhat reminiscent of veins or arteries. Each of these pathways leads to a bunch of succulent grapes a potent symbol of the fruits of life, abundance and the enjoyable things we can partake in.
      Looking upon the card and seeing such abundant life, growing free and wild I was struck how in control of it all he seems. He is absolutely secure in his place, almost rooted to his throne. His roots run deep and hold him fast to his base. His sceptre and the pentacle in his grasp show his grasp of the earth plane. He is a master manifestor, able to bring his desires into fruition.
     His card is the marriage of earth and fire, of bringing the spiritual fire down to the earth plane and creating what he wants. His robes are a riot of colour and pattern of fecund growth. Behind him stands the city walls and towers and minarets of red and blue. The red being a symbol of passion and the blue symbolising communication and transmission of energy. Beneath his robe hides a suit of armour that can be glimpsed on his left leg which rests upon a stone shape resembling the head of a bull or a dragon. He is ready and capable of defending his ground and self assured in his mastery of his element. The placement of his foot on the stone object asserts his absolute dominance.
   Another strong symbol that appears strongly in this card is the bull. Being closely linked to Taurus this card is about a figure who is stable (note the four bull's heads, four being a number of stability). Obviously there is a tendency for this type of individual to be strong willed to the point of bull-headedness and implacable once set into motion. He is not without creativity, but it often applied in a practical manner, his fire applied to earth creates physical objects. Just think of all the objects that need to be smelted or subjected to heat to create their final hardened form.
    For me there is a far greater meaning behind this card. It means applying one's fire or spirituality in a very practical manner. Many spiritual endeavours end up drifting around in the ether, never really finding completion. I have known Taurean artists capable of producing a prodigious amount of artwork, by just seem to be able to sit down and produce piece after piece of artwork. They take great pleasure in creating things of beauty, even to the point of  shutting the rest of the world out. My problem has been there has been so little earth in my chart that the flood of ideas and creativity that runs through me tends to burn away in spiritual or mental matters without ever touching the earth.  Even when I am inspired to create art it is in between all the mental and spiritual things I have going on. I don't know if I will ever be a prodigious producer of art, or even of earthly creations.
    What I have realised though is that this attitude would be most beneficial for me to adopt and to apply in my own life. This occurred very recently for me as I was performing a treatment for a client. He has been coming for several weeks and has had some very beneficial results. He was very complimentary about my work and telling me about all that was going on. Part of me felt jealous of this. How does this guy get to change things so fast? But I realised the ludicrousness of the situation. It was through my work that he was making this progress and I just haven't done that for myself on a practical level for a long while. The king is challenging me to apply my own energy in a practical fashion in my own energy system. So very often I get caught up in the theoretical aspect and ephemeral nature of understanding healing that I never actually get around to fully applying that process to myself. Of course when a client comes through the door I am down to business and apply the energy in a very practical way. I don't spend hours umming and ahhing about what the problem could be or ways to possibly fix it. I know I have a limited amount of time and that is best spent pouring energy directly into the situation on a practical level. After that is done then there is time to talk, but not before the work is done. Somehow I have failed to apply this in my own life.
    With this understanding I can really start to understand there may be something to applying a level of practicality to my own life. The King of Pentacles is nothing if not a practical man, what I have failed to apply in my own life is the time to sit down and actually do the work. To not spend so much time thinking it over, but to simply get it done. I made the mistake of thinking that because my energy exists within my own system then it is working on those parts that need work, but in reality those parts need dedicated attention. I need to put the time into them, not for them to only get the energy residue that occurs when I perform healings for others.
    Part of the problem has been I have viewed the magnitude of some of the issues as insurmountable, while if a client came to me I wouldn't spend time considering this, I would simply do it. Of course I do believe that getting to the point of being able to work directly on myself has not always been available. When I first began my healing work, I could only really pick up on the issues of other, much the same thing happened with readings. For others the readings and healings work great...for myself...not so great. Most people begin with this blockage I feel, they are simply not able to get the level of distance from their own issues to work objectively on them. This was certainly true for me! But as time passed I found that I was able to see some of the problems, but was not able to work on them effectively in the same way that a doctor cannot perform his own surgeries. This caused a great deal of frustration as I had trouble finding people open and aware enough to actually see the problem, let alone work on it..even with my prompting.
    Getting to the point where I can actually perceive and then work on a problem is a new thing for me, so I guess I should go easy on myself. For that I have the King of Pentacles to thank, for without him I don't think I would have tried to do it once again!

Page of Pentacles. The sensualist.

   The character of the Page of Pentacles is an earthy one.  The figure in this card has a masculine look even though the Page's are often regarded as the "Princess" cards, representing either young or female characters.
   He gazes raptly upon the pentacle in his hands, similar to all the court cards with the suit of pentacles. This suit has a very absorbing quality which causes many people to get caught up in the material aspects of their lives. The pentacle itself looks almost weightless in his hands, as if it were ready to float away.
    The card itself is very green and verdant and the colours particularly stand out with a lot of contrasts between the greens and reds and the oranges and blues. There are flowers beneath his feet and a copse of trees behind him, while to the right one can make out a field which appears in the Knight of Pentacles.
    There isn't a great many clues as to the nature of this individual other than he represents the earthy aspect of earth. In such, he is enraptured by the very element of earth. He is likely to prize the sensory nature of his being as being paramount. Taste, touch, smell, sight and sound are all important to him. He is a sensualist in the purest sense of the word. He is the child of the earthy court cards and as such is still very much like a child learning to experience the world through their body.
     This character has not learned enough yet to be pragmatic or set in his ways, he simply is too absorbed within his own experience to give it much thought. His lack of all the other elements can have him come across as emotionless or lacking in the finer aspects of being, but he is simply uninterested in them.
   The pentacles themselves are related to money and this is important to him, it is gateway that allows him to pursue greater sensory indulgences. Touch is also a primary sense for him and any career or occupation that allows him to be tactile works well with this character, he likes to be physical and to work directly with his hands. The predominance of green suggests he could be a gardener or be somehow connected to the vegetative world.
   This card is not an aspect I have a great connection with and is an element I find difficulty embodying. My astrological chart has no earth in it and until recently green has held little or no interest to me as a colour. The appearance of this card does relate to an aspect of my life that I am attempting to bring into fruition though. I have recently been in touch with a massage school here in the hopes of being able to add this modality to my skills. I have done energy work for almost 10 years now and have been happy to continue to build and grow my skills there. But, recently I have found the need to expand and add an earthy element to my practice. There are simply some difficulties within the energy system and body that are much easier to deal with physically. Most problems have a physical element at least somewhere in the process and that has been an element that I have been unable to work with.
    The sticking point has been money. My business has picked up a little, certainly enough to feel a little more comfortable with how things are progressing and there is certainly hope for the future. But it is not quite at the level where I am comfortable also paying for a course in massage along side it. This is a shame as I have the time, but not the resources to make it work at the moment. Since I am a relatively new resident in the US I am unable to get any kind of loan as my credit score has to start from scratch.
   I have definitely been feeling the need to add an earthy component and this card is another nudge in that direction. The page however is never likely to take financial risks, he is too practical for that and I feel in this he is right. I have certainly undertaken more than my fair share of risky ventures and been burned just as many times.
  However there is also the part of me that understands that I may well be trying to make this choice because it is the seemingly best of available options. Settling for a choice that doesn't fully fulfill simply because it is available is a difficulty I have faced before and I often have trouble with this especially when it comes to material choices. There are often better ways to be fulfilled and leaping for a boat that is passing close by, but not stopping for you can be a risky proposition. Unless you are certain of course and I don't feel certain about this.
   I believe in the end the card is showing me a possibility, certainly one that could become a reality. But is also a chance for me to see how strongly I want it and right now I am wavering, so I don't feel I will be leaping for this anytime soon.

2 of Pentacles. Uncertainty and imbalance.

  The 2 of Pentacles stands at the beginning of the suit and after the strong Ace, promising new beginnings we are already suffering uncertainty. The two pentacles represent material goods, work, money and even health.
    The figure is standing on one leg and trying to balance the two coins, while wearing an absurdly tall hat. Not to mention the roiling sea behind him.
   Everything about this card shouts that things are unsettled and are trying desperately to find some level of equilibrium. The figure himself looks disinterestedly off into the middle distance as though this unsettling situation is an everyday occurrence. I find myself sympathizing with him as his situation accurately depicts my own at the moment.
    His garb is simple reds and yellows, which depict this uncertainty as occurring both on a physical and mental level. Binding the pentacles together  is a green band shaped into a lemniscate. This green loop is the symbol for infinity, but in this instance it only seems to underline the fact that uncertainty and change are constant and eternal. Unusually his shoes are also this bright green, which seems to suggest that balance is found in aligning with the heart and grounding that energy.
     The figure is somewhat reminiscent of a court jester with his bright clothing and tall hat. The hat seems to further accentuate the rolling and tilting feel of the card. Hats are usually representative of the mental attitudes we possess and he is using that element in the card to make sure he doesn't overbalance. You may also notice the line across the floor near the edge of the sea, this makes the figure look as though he is on stage and the backdrop may merely be a painted image.
     Regardless of the figure's juggling , he does seem to have reached a level of equilibrium within his unorthodox posture. He reminds me of a circus clown who while appearing to be on the verge of constantly falling somehow manages to maintain his equilibrium and not spill whatever he is carrying.
     The ships in the background are riding the comically curving waves and their journey if those waves are to be believed would certainty be bumpy.
     This card is how I feel at the moment in my financial situation. I am juggling several different possibilities for work, while trying to maintain a firm base and I feel like a clown trying to keep a tall stack of plates from falling. Like a cosmic jape that is no longer funny I have passed into the realm of not caring about the performance any longer and it is only a matter of time before the plates come crashing down if no real and enduring equilibrium is found.
     Another interesting aspect for me within the card is the aspect of balance as related to physical health. I have been attempting to stretch out my hamstrings and inner knees and finding that when I walk the tightness causes me to walk on the outer edge of my feet. Balancing because of this is more difficult as I tend to sway to either side as I balance on one leg! I noticed some tension in this area as I relaxed in bed last night pondering the day I had been through.
        I had run a game of Llumination for the staff at the healing centre. Now Llumination is a tarot based game that I am trained to facilitate. It is kind of like a group tarot reading, but with input from all the other people partaking. It can bring up some interesting topics and can be a lot of fun and very involving for all playing. As I ran the game, we came close to the last round of questions. One of the participants had asked a question about when something would be coming to an end for her, something she has been looking to have closed for over a decade. The game gave the answer that there would be resolution within one month.
       Now, for me I find giving such definitive answers is a risky business. I have felt burned too many times by things not coming to pass quite as I had hoped, of leaping and not finding a net beneath me. So much so that my tired old knees protest every-time I have to have faith in something working out as the universe has dictated. Looking back at the situation while I lay in bed I could feel my knees tensing up, even just thinking about having faith in such a definitive answer.
        There was a time in which my faith was much stronger with regards to financial matters and such a leap would not have bothered me and lo..a net would appear. Yet, somewhere along the way I have lost that gung-ho attitude and I wonder if a lack of faith is causing me to falter when I am left with such a clear answer.
      For me I feel the card points to a deeper problem, that of returning the fearless faith I had in the universe, for without such a faith I just ending damaging my knees after a bad landing. I took a nasty fall and I am afraid to go back and take the high wire once more for fear that once more the net will be gone when I leap.
   

9 of Pentacles. Financial independence and superiority.

     This card is about plenty and the freedom granted by financial independence. It has brought up a great deal of personal baggage in trying to get myself into the right frame of mind to discuss it. Sometimes entering into the mind state of the card is harder than usual, certainly if the card represents a state that is not resonant for me at this time.
     None-the-less I will discuss the card before delving into the more personal aspects. The nine is close to the end of the material cycle represented by the pentacles, we are almost at fullness within this suit. The lady in the card is enjoying all the fruits that material security and independence can buy. She is leisurely enjoying her estate in a fine robe covered in Venusian symbols. Venus being the planet of beauty it shows that her finery is of the greatest opulence. It is a golden robe, which again exemplifies the wealth this card represents. The trim on the robe, along with the hat she wears is a vivid red. Red being a colour of vibrancy, material power and vigour.
        Behind her is a golden sunset, the composition balanced by two trees either side of her. The Venusian symbolism, the finery and the balance all suggest this card has links to Libra.  To either side of her are the pentacles stacked alongside the rich bunches of grapes, suggesting she can afford to enjoy the finer things in life. The hooded hawk itself is another symbol of aristocracy, also showing her freedom to move about and return to a comfortable resting place. It's hood remains in place as it is not now the time to hunt, but to relax.
       At the foot of the card is a snail showing the leisurely and sedate pace created by the secure foundation of wealth. There is no hurry and what one has is simply to be enjoyed.
      The card itself seems simple in its analysis but it has been difficult for me to feel the energy behind it. My current financial situation does not reflect the energy of the card, if anything it reflects its opposite. For me my life does not include a material stability or the ability to take things easy and enjoy the finer aspects of living. This created a great deal of conflicted feelings as most of the cards I have drawn have had a real life situation occur that allowed me to understand the energy. Instead this card has raised frustrations and ugly feelings.
      Rather than feel stuck, I have looked at the feelings that have emerged in trying to emulate this mindset in attempt to understand why I cannot bring this energy into fruition in my life. Much as when trying to flush out a blocked pipe the first thing to emerge is the cause of the blockage and all that has caused the clogging.
     What arises in me is envy. Envy is not an emotion I am used to. Although once I look at it, I see how pervasive it has become in my own life. Being brought to my financial knees has magnified the envy I feel for all those around me in such a way that it has become an intolerable noise. Upon further examination I see that it goes even deeper into my psyche. Last night as I drifted off to sleep I asked for a dream to elucidate my situation so I could better understand how this feeling may be blocking me.
      I dreamt that I was in a department store in which several high-tech stands were set up. I was there with my younger brother, although he was much younger in the dream...little more than a young child. I was in possession of a large felt block or box which strapped onto my back by virtue of a Velcro strap. When I put the pale green box onto my back I could hover about at a height of a foot or two. It was quite a pleasurable experience and the box itself felt weightless. As I was hovering about, my brother threw a toy or figurine into a glass display case shattering the front. One of the shop workers came over and scolded me for my brother's actions and informed me that I wouldn't be able to work there because of his action. I felt non-plussed by this as I wasn't really interested in it in the first place. I was considering offering the box to my brother when the dream shifted. It then moved into another aspect about another area of my life which does not seem relevant.
      Symbolically the green represents envy and the block...well that represents a block. But, the dream suggests that I am willingly donning the block because it elevates me. I can understand how this may be. I can feel elevated by my envy, I can even feel an element of superiority (aerial superiority!). If I feel elevated then I would naturally feel envious of those who are below me from possessing what I do not. My desire is not born of a genuine desire, but from a righteousness derived from a false sense of superiority. Letting go of this envy and the superior elevated position, although less pleasurable immediately will lead to me finding my own level. It will put me in contact with the earth and ground me in reality.
      It is easy to find the source of this. Growing up I was the smallest in my year...bar the kid with a growth disorder. I was also one of the youngest, struggled with my school work and was naturally shy. My family was not wealthy so seeing others with more was a regular occurrence. My father also had a serious inferiority complex, often claiming that Italians were responsible for every single good thing in civilization and therefore by extension he was part of that legacy. I could go on, but it does not serve as there are many factors in this stew and no one thing is fully responsible.  It is natural that I would want to feel bigger, better and superior to those who surrounded me, if only to be able to compete.
      I can see that this constructed sense of superiority disconnects me from the earth and my true self. I know I possess many good qualities and this envy exists because of my childhood difficulties. It is difficult for me to feel a desire for something without going through a sense of entitlement born of an elevated sense of self. But it is not connected, it is not genuine and only serves to feed this dynamic of envy.
     The block in the dream is only connected by a strap of Velcro, yet the desire to feel elevated is strong. Finding a block that doesn't weigh me down is novel, as in my experience they often possess a weight which creates a lethargy and feelings of heaviness. Letting go of the block means letting go of a safety mechanism that has been in place for a long time and has served to keep me afloat when things should have buried me. I know now that I can rely on my own self worth and do not need to keep an aid to buoyancy with me. It is only keeping me from connecting fully with the earth.
      In the end I have to let go of this barrier to financial independence, the feeling that has kept me safe for so long. Because it no longer serves and only suffices to keep me disconnected. The elevated sense of self. It is the shadow side of the 9 of Pentacles, an elevated sense of superiority. Granted by things real or imagined.

4 of Pentacles. Greed and miserliness.

      The four of Pentacles is a card about greed and miserliness. Picking out this card has given me the opportunity to really examine my views on greed and stinginess.
    Greed has always been one of those negative traits that has kind of been out there, one that other people possess. Possessed by people who roll around in money and laughingly clutch at their vast array of belongings. I guess Scrooge McDuck, or King Midas comes to mind when I think of greed. Miserliness for some reason speaks to me of a penny pinching attitude, possessed by the poor. Regardless after some reflection I have realised that these fictitious individuals don't really reflect the true face of greed. Often we think of greedy people as being jolly and somewhat corpulent, always wanting more. This I feel blinds us to its true face.
     The King in the card has little regalness.  He hunches over on a simple stone plinth, holding tight to his pentacle. The drab steel grey of the sky and the somewhat muddied colours of his clothing present a somewhat dreary picture. What strikes you about the figure is his attachment to the pentacles, they are on his mind, in his hands and literally under his feet. He is out of touch with everything apart from the material, even the city seems distant.  Everything in his posture talks of tightness and clenching. This mindset exemplifies greed.
       Greed is being so scared about the lack of money, that one holds onto what one has for fear of losing it. This is the real face of it, not laughing exuberance and swimming through money. Charles Dicken's Scrooge was much close to the reality, although his general unpleasantness made it hard to empathise with him. Most people are so repulsed by this exaggeration that they would rarely ask themselves if they are driven or motivated by greed. A better way to phrase it would be, are they motivated by fear of lack?
       Most people's understanding of greed is closer to gluttony. The reality of greed is much sadder. It is a genuine fear of not having enough, it is generated by a poverty mindset. It rarely matters if they actually have enough, the fear is so all consuming that it doesn't allow them to look around and appreciate, they need to consider how to survive. This creates a tension and a tightness. How could they possibly give if they don't even have enough to guarantee their own security!
     In the card you can see a beautifully coloured city behind the seated figure. He seems unaware of it, so concerned with the four coins he holds. The purple robe, now darkened is a remnant of his divine pedigree. The red robe beneath it speaks of the passion and activeness now gone stale and stagnant, his energy simply being used only to hold on tightly to what he holds in his hands. The streak of blue on his robe relates to communication and spirituality, which has fallen all the way to the hemline. It shows that all is not lost, but things are upside down, that his priorities are switched.
       Money has an importance, it is a form of energy. It is a crystallised symbol of a transaction. It denotes a level of power and freedom, but only on the material plane. Outside of this it is powerless, apart from the level of fascination it holds for others similarly entranced.
       This card has one other element which is of importance. It is to do with a closed hand, or a closed circuit. The figure's arms on the card form a closed loop. While he retains a closed grip nothing new can enter the equation, only by opening up and letting go does he allow the greater flow through him. Any situation that remains locked in place cannot be open to change apart from through violent means (see the Tower card!).
     For me this card has allowed me to look at my own interactions with money. It all came home to me recently when I had my first client at the healing centre I work at. His payment was by credit card and it being a holiday, it means that the money will not hit my account until midweek when the cheque clears (from the centre). As soon as I received the cheque, even though I could not cash or spend it, it was already mentally split and spent. This left me with a sense of lack, which is silly given that I hadn't even had the money yet. It is like the demons that need to be pacified hide in the shadows and wait until they see a glint of gold. As soon as this occurs these desperate energies descend like proverbial harpies and it is all I can do to hold onto what I have. I am realising now (thanks to some great advice from Zoe) that I need to wait until the harpies have flown away empty handed before I choose the way in which to apply the money. This will allow me to not give in to panic and end up blowing the money on whichever fear is the most intimidating. It seems so simple and it is a technique I apply in pretty much every other area of my life, but with money it is so easy to lose my head and given in to these pressures. What is worse is allowing these thought to intrude on situations with our combined money since we have had to pool resources to make things work.
    I am hoping that there will be a better way to deal with these concerns than to be paying constant attention to them, but it may simply be learning to be more aware! When this card appears, it is showing us that we are holding onto something too tightly in our life and are not open to an influx of the new, be it a relationship, a new job, more money or even a new way of thinking.
   

10 of Pentacles. Wealth and inheritance.

  The 10 of Pentacles has been a rare card in my readings. It is a good card, with a lot of positive elements.
  The suit of Pentacles is concerned with money, health and family. The last card in the suit of Pentacles as a number 10 it signifies the end and culmination of material matters. The Pentacles are a symbol for the element of earth and earth, like water, only strengthens with multiplicity. Therefore, this card is very positive when it comes to material endeavours as the suit has come full circle to the full embodiment of material power that was present in the Ace.
   The card is full of rich imagery and it is hard to tell where things begin and end with the fullness of the card. The pentacles themselves are laid out in a pattern that reflects the Tree of Life (the ten sephiroth from the Kabbalah). The tree is a map of human consciousness and the universe based on the idea of what is above is also reflected below and that all creation can be seen in a single grain of sand. The 10 of Pentacles is really the last in the series of Minor Arcana with what was begun with the Ace of Swords (the original expression of a thought, if one is using the kabbalistic school of thought ). Being the last, it also reflects the beginning as all cycles do and the symbol of the tree is homage to that.
    Looking at the card one can see the full range of life played out in the card: there is a child, a couple and an elder with several dogs around him. This shows the connection to the family and the idea of generations. One can see how it can be connected to the idea of inheritance or family wealth. The card is also set within a house as evidenced by the archway with a city view, which suggests security but not in a restrictive fashion. There is so much detail as to be overwhelming, which is only right given the Pentacles as the ruler of the material realm. Pictures of castles and boats adorn the inner walls of the house along with a fresco on the left of the image, all showing material wealth and extravagance.
    The city beyond shows a tower, a house and the city wall, all depicted in a rather neutral orange/yellow almost as if it were reaching dusk and the sunset were reflecting off the walls. Each of the symbols represent security and stability in a very man-made fashion and the flash of green above the walls shows it is not unconnected with nature.
   The child represents youth and he reaches out to touch the tail of the dog, who is in turn at the lap of the elder creating a cycle between all the players. The male figure in the couple is a guardsman with his spear at the ready, although he is engaged in friendly dialogue with the mother of the child. This represents the idea of safety and protection and no immediate danger. The elder represents the final phase of the cycle and so he is richly adorned in a robe of earthy colours, covered in patterns and geometric shapes. These elements are not the typical metaphysical symbols and look certainly more like fashionable or aesthetic choices. The chair in which he sits is green with grapes upon it, again symbolising abundance and fruitfulness.
    As I previously stated, this card appears rarely for me and my relationship with this card is an unknown. Since it is Minor Arcana it is related to an energy that is prevalent at the particular time. It does reflect some of the changes that have been going on in my life.
   Last night I had a dream in which I was travelling to an unknown destination, it was getting late in the day so I decided to pull my car over to the side (a red muscle car with white stripe which I knew as a Mustang) and try and find somewhere to stay. I entertained the idea of continuing on through the night, but my final destination seemed foggy in my mind and I decided that stopping would be best. There was a general feeling of disorientation and lack of stability, given I wasn't quite sure where I was going or where I would be staying.  I ended up entering a temple which consisted of several floors and seemed to be themed in a Celtic fashion with Triskells on the walls. Within were several welcoming priestesses who asked me about my journey as to ascertain my purpose and my connection. I started to recount my journey and its ups and downs and the various animals that had aided me thus far. I mentioned a Kingfisher, an Otter and a Crane and said I had footage of them coming to my aid. At this, they offered me a place to stay for the night and the dream ended.
    Looking at the symbolism of these particular animals I am struck by the fact that they all are linked to two elements. The Kingfisher and Crane to air and water and the Otter to water and earth. All of the animals felt like they had a numinous quality to me (one that carries beyond the dream) and I am heartened by their appearance. They are also all animals that are linked to the Celtic pantheon and their environs and they are not collage-like scraps from my day (unlike the Mustang...which I feel is sheer wish fulfillment).
   What this dream relates to me is that with adopting a level of certitude in my choice of career, it brings up several different elements. It seems like my endless wandering without a final destination is at least taking a break in order to create a bond to the earth and for me to set down some roots. My connection has always strongly been to movement and flight as evidenced by the bird symbolism, but all these animals make their homes in or close to the earth and the river bank in particular.
   Creating a level of fixedness and stability does bring up some fears in me that I will not be able to travel so freely as I have, but I feel these fears may in fact prove to be completely unfounded. The card is about a healthy flow of income, one that even allows for and suggests extravagance as shown by the boats and castles  on the walls. With a level of security, taking flight may be even easier as I don't have to carry all my belongings with me on each trip. My journey has had its ups and downs and I know I would not have made it without inner assistance.
   Finding a castle and a temple for me is paramount for me, even if it is only a nest to launch myself from and to take rest in. This card talks to me of the feeling of homecoming and material security I have been seeking to build for myself for the greatest time. Allowing myself to recognise and enjoy those creature comforts, knowing that I am motivated and strong enough for them not to become traps for me.

Queen of Pentacles. Love and materialism.

   The Queen of Wands is a card that I don't have a great deal of connection with.  Hopefully talking about her might yield some understanding.
    This earthy lady is a mix of watery emotion and grounded pragmatism. Her card is a quiet idyll in the sense of a storybook cottage complete with cute bouncing bunny and bordered in roses. To me it looks like a page from an illustrated children's book.
   Our Queen sits on a throne cradling a pentacle as if it were her baby. Now looking at all the Pentacle court cards, you can't help but notice that each of the figures is deeply absorbed with their own pentacle to the exclusion of anything else going on. Here the flora around her is starting to grow a little wild...a precursor to the overgrown garden that exists on the King's card. This absorption with the material realm is a common thread and I wonder quite what this means for the court cards of the Pentacles suit.
   I understand this to mean that these characters find it difficult to tear their attention away from their own material pursuits. They spend their time working on their careers, thinking about their belongings or homes and looking after their earthly concerns. But one thing to notice is that they really love their pentacles. It is not a damning indictment on materialism (for that see the four of pentacles), but speaks of the actual beauty of materialism.
    The Queen has a deep pink robe on over a white blouse, which is indicative of her innocence and deep love for the world. She wears a green cloak which stretches from her head to her feet and shows her abiding love and compassion. This really is one sweet lady who really cares.
   Her throne is adorned with fruit (apples, oranges and pears) symbolising the fruitful nature of the energy inherent in the card, you can also see several cherubs along with the head of a goat (Capricorn). The rabbit is a symbol of fecundity and abundance and links to both her outward timidity and her sexual nature.
   There is little to connect her to fire or air and as a result this can lead to a somewhat limited awareness of situations outside her own material sphere. At worst this can manifest itself as stodginess and she may lack a spark or inner brightness. More vibrant expansive signs or characters may find her a little sedate for their tastes, but this suits her just fine. She really is happy within her world. The lack of fire does not mean a lack of passion or spirituality, it simply means she connects to it through her earthy nature and strongly emotional character.
    What this card brings up for me is the question of materialism. The western culture has a heavy bias towards materialism, but has severed its ties to the earth. It has not reached the stage of the Queen of Pentacles, but is still languishing at the Knight. When people talk of materialism, there is often scorn in their voices and this is because of what it has come to mean to our common awareness.There is a deep wisdom in the Earth, this has been forgotten and has been replaced with a culture of convenience. Materialism for most people means losing touch with their inner nature, of being absorbed in their shallow lives and never looking beyond the next distraction. Of living for the paycheck or for the weekend.
   The deep wisdom is embodied by that love of the Earth, of loving our lives here and now. It is okay to love our possessions and our homes, our careers and our bodies. It is that love that we have forgotten. there is no love for our possessions, everything is disposable and we have been told to not connect with our materiality...that it is somehow bad and unspiritual.
    What is unspiritual is not loving our lives and all that is in them. When we love our possessions we treat them with honour, we live in an almost zen like state. Materialism is one of the ways we can express love in our lives and of course it stands to reason that it should not be the only way. Enjoying a new teapot is not equivalent to idolatry unless we recognise no other item or being as worthy of our love...and anyone who just loves their teapot is quite clearly not all there.

7 of Pentacles. Planting the seeds of success.

  The seven of Pentacles is a card that is relatively easy to read. The Pentacles growing on the branches of the plant are worldly fruits that are ripening ready for a time of harvest. The figure in the card has just finished a difficult bout of work and is waiting for that time to arrive.
   He wears a red tunic over blue garments, the red symbolising the active forces he has just used to plant and tend his crops and the blue is related to communication. This communication is that he is aware of what the plant needs in order to thrive, the plant itself representing a project, business or other worldly venture.
     This card can appear as a confirmation that money is on its way or some other reward for one's hard work. It shows that the seeds have been correctly planted, tended and watered and all that remains is for the fruits of your labour to be gathered at the right time.
    Since he is not in the active pursuit of harvesting it shows that this time is not quite upon him. He stands resting on a hoe or other gardening implement with a look of appreciation and satisfaction. The tool is a connector between the farmer and the earth below.
    Seven is a magical number and in this represents growth and ripening, which are processes the farmer himself can only affect indirectly. The time of his tending for good or ill is over and all that remains is the process.
   The card speaks somewhat of the laws of karma, of reaping what one has sown. The farmer will receive his due depending on how well he has tended his interests. Since the card is only a minor arcana it doesn't necessarily have the depth and strength of the Justice card where it relates to Karmic return. In this instance it more readily points to cause and effect as being the instruments of return.
   This card came to me more as a confirmation of the course I was on than as a great learning. I am about to begin work at a healing centre in town this month. This has been something I have been working towards for a great deal of time. In the past my healing work has been something I have fit in around other people and places during my travels rather than something that I have set my life around. It represents a new level in terms of my own growth as it is me stepping forward in a business of my own, one that I have to tend and water all myself. Yesterday I spent the day walking around the town posting flyers and spreading the word about what I am doing. I have sent off for business cards and spoken with people about my ideas for things that will happen.
    I have planted the seeds of my business and tend to and watered the ground. This has been something I have worked towards on some level for a great deal of time. It is not the time yet for me to reap my rewards, as I am not yet at that stage, but I can see that for the first time there is something growing here. Previously when I have started my own healing businesses they had withered on the vine and I now understand why. The conditions had never been right for a business for me, either the land was not fertile or I tended them poorly.
    My own lack of conviction had been partly to blame for this, conviction in what I am doing and its validity and relevance. These emotions are the water that a growing venture needs to see it through. I am sure I will find challenges along the road, but I am more ready to face those than I have been before. My lack of convictions are not the only factor to have affected my previous failures, I can see that looking back there were also many other situations at play. Metaphorically the ground was hard and the environment was too cold to grow the type of business I would like to run.
   I feel that I will turn out a better crop this time, certainly the conditions are more conducive to growth, but only time will tell.

Ace of Pentacles. Manifestation.

     The Ace of Pentacles is always a nice card to find emerging from the deck, in this case the card jumped out of the deck while I was shuffling it. When this happens I usually add the card to whatever the reading is.

     The Aces are primal energies in their most potent raw form and the Pentacles are that of Earth energy. 

    The heavenly hand in the card proffers a large coin like Pentacle, which suggests that the universe is giving you a gift of earthy energy. This can come as a new job, a sum of money, a new house or an inheritance.

    Below the hand stands a garden with a pathway that leads to the mountains beyond. Within the garden are growing white flowers, lilies, which symbolise desire in its purest form. The flowers represent the seeds of pure desire coming to fruition.

   It seems that the garden is just the start of the pathway which leads us on and I see this as meaning that this material gift is meant as a means to allow us to begin or continue on our path. 

    This card has sat on my desk for several days as I have waited to see what material gift would be brought my way. It reminded me of the full moon which is present in the sky tonight a symbol of fullness in all its material glory.

    It has given me food for thought though. In Star Tarot Revelations there is a passage which struck me deeply which I will recount here.

    "You are no longer capable of doing work that is not both emotionally satisfying or spiritually nourishing. Receiving this card indicates that you are unwilling to live in the contradiction of inner contentment that is not evident in the outer world; or attainment on the external plane while experiencing dissatisfaction within. You are worthy of having it all - success that manifests physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually."

     For me this is something that speaks strongly to me. Having taken many jobs that do one or the other, I have simply reached the point that I am not capable of working in a way that is not all these things. Sadly, my outer reality has yet to catch up with this inner reality. If I take jobs that are unsatisfying to me I simply become sick or ill and cannot function, coupled with the deep feeling that the situation is not right for me.

   I have come to the point where I have had to test my faith and say no to those jobs that do nothing to nourish me. I am also having to step away from the feelings that keep me tied into these situations, those of unworthiness and desperation.

   Instead I am replacing them with feelings of hope and trust in the universe and the knowledge that these hardships are simply the result of many deeply ingrained patterns being burned away. I know there are still beliefs within me that run counter to what I am doing and I am excavating them on a daily basis so that the flow of abundance will be able to run true.

   At the moment one has become a little more obvious. I have a great book called Heal Your Body A-Z by Louise L Hay (check out the link at the bottom of this entry). Within this book it lists the mental causes for physical illnesses. While not completely exhaustive it does a pretty good job of narrowing the field to find the possible beliefs that play into physical issues. Usually it also requires a little bit of personal detective work to find the specific belief that feels true, even though you know it is not true.

    With me I have found several areas of chronic tension in my legs, muscles that refuse to relax even with direct massage manipulation or yoga. The only way I have discovered to get them to give in and relax is to find the specific belief and re-write it. So far, I have made more progress with this method than going to yoga for a year, even by doing yoga everyday for over a month!

    The latest area to undergo scrutiny is my ankles which always seem to be tense and inflexible. In the book it suggest that the ankles represent the ability to receive pleasure along with guilt. Now straight off it is difficult to immediately pin it down, since there are plenty of ways in which I am happily experiencing pleasure. But with my understanding of the chakras, the lower torso also represents the material plane...and then things start to fall into place. For me the idea that I could possibly receive pleasure while making money is one that seems untrue. Sure, it is ultimately possible for others..but for me? No. All my experiences point to it never working for me. Each new experience seems to compound this idea. But I also understand that while I hold this belief it will NEVER be any other way. 

    Changing a belief before one experiences it as a reality sounds a little ludicrous, but I have seen it work many times before. For me it is going to require a little bit of digging into the past to find exactly where this belief was born, or at least to a situation in which I felt that "Working is a miserable chore" became or was  a reality.   

   But the universe has been generous, we were gifted today with a cooked chicken, a backpack, a new flashlight and a feeling of lightness which I have not felt for a long while. Things are good and will be getting better!

   

   

3 of Pentacles. The trinity of work.

 The three of pentacles is about work and craftsmanship. The suit of pentacles relates to the material world and the three is an early number in the sequence.
   I haven't had a great deal of experience with this card and I find it similar in some ways to the 8 of Pentacles, which shows a workman at his trade.
  This card though being at the start of the suit is symbolic of a much earlier place in the process.
   In the card there is a craftsman stood upon a bench with a chisel and a hammer of some kind in his hands. His elevated position suggests he is a craftsman of some skill as can be witness by the cathedral he is putting the finishing touches to. He wears a dark purple tunic, which is linked to royalty and suggests he is a master craftsman. He also is wearing an apron of gold, which further speaks of his excellent skills.
    He is being approached by two individuals with a blueprint. One of the individuals is dressed in a bright polka dot robe, which appears somewhat outlandish. The other is obviously a monk of some type and most likely belongs in the cathedral the craftsman is working upon.
   The outlandish individual is presenting the craftsman with a blueprint, either for a new design or with regards to the project he is working on. Since he is so individual I feel the card is suggesting something new, fun and creative in terms of work.
   Another element to consider is the cathedral itself. The three pentacle design is worked into the stonework in a design reminiscent of a trinity symbol. The trinity symbol represents three parts working together as one, which would also account for three individuals. The three parts being body, mind and soul. How you attribute these traits to the individuals is a function of your own psyche. For me the craftsman is the body, the monk the mind and the outlandish individual is the soul.
     The card relates to the idea of creating something of lasting beauty, which can really only be achieved by aligning all the three elements together. If any of the elements are in disagreement, then producing something great becomes increasingly unlikely. This may need to be achieved through creating a plan or a closer examination of your own blueprint. It does mean however that all these elements should be aligned.
      I have had great difficulty in aligning these forces together in my life and I am really just on the cusp of getting them to all work in concert. With me there has been a constant disagreement between my soul and my body. Only recently has there been some real alignment working out for me.
     I am still searching for a blueprint that will allow them all to work together and it has been on my mind recently. All three parts are working, but they are not working together and without that nothing truly lasting will come about. This card is not giving me the answer to that, it is just underlining the importance of having that holy trinity working together within and without.

Knight of Pentacles. Pragmatism and the work ethic.

Before I drew this card I asked for "the card I most had to learn from". This pragmatic and very practical knight is someone I indeed can learn a lot from.
    The suit of Pentacles is linked to the material element of earth and the Knight in this instance is related to the airy part of earth. He is a mix of intellectual and pragmatist, a clever individual who knows exactly what he wants and it can be found right here on earth.
   He is clear in what he wants and has the determination to get it, sometimes even to the detriment of anyone who gets in his way as he bulls his way to his goals. His horse is a solid black, strong as an ox and very sturdy. This horse would as happily carry the knight to war as it would pull a plough through a field. Both the horse and his rider are very physical as you can tell by the profusion of red trappings both are wearing.
   The Knight has his gaze firmly locked on the pentacle in his upturned palm as if by turning his iron gaze on the coin it will grant him the ability to sniff out the next opportunity. His mouth is set and determined and he is either just finished with a task or about to start a new one. He is not one to waste his time with idle dreaming when he could be out doing.
        He wears a solid unadorned suit of plate mail, completely functional, the only trim is a green garland which symbolises his past successes. He is not interested in anything but the here and now and what can be gained in this present moment. He is lacking a solid connection to the spiritual or emotional aspects of life, so he finds his purpose here on Earth. At worst he has the self assurance of the materially sufficient and the spiritually void, self satisfied he already holds the answer to all his problems in his hand.
    Behind him sits a freshly ploughed field ready to be planted with fresh new crops and it wouldn't surprise me if he had ploughed it himself this morning before donning his armour.
    As all Knights do in the Tarot, they represent messengers of their own element. In this case the knight brings financial tidings, either positive or negative depending on the surrounding cards or the intuitive feeling that accompanies the card.
   For me personally the card meant one very important thing. The arrival or delay of news regarding my finances. I have not been gainfully employed for nearly 6 months now after leaving my last job because of an inner urging and trusting in the universe and my own guides. The Knight of Pentacles would have been shaking his head and tutting if I had asked him his advice in this economy. The time has given me the space to work out many different things I needed to work out and for this blog to grow and to one day flourish. I have reconnected to my artwork after 10 years and moved through a lot of personal obstacles.
    It seems though that this period is coming to a close as I sensed at the beginning of October, both for inner and outer reasons. I have been steadily applying for jobs since August and hearing very little back. We are in danger of not meeting the rent this month and my guides are asking me to do a course in the middle of the month...which is not free. I have said ok to doing the course, even though the money is currently not present.
    I have ridden into many box canyons on my journey, trusting in my guidance to deliver me (certainly when they ask me to ride into them!). Every time it gets a little easier to trust, but as the money runs low tensions can run high.
    So when I get this card I start to wonder if the knight is just telling me to be utterly pragmatic and just take any job...or that I will have good tidings. Being utterly pragmatic in my life has led me into many difficult situations so I have been loathe to do so. That feeling alone has led me to some of the worst jobs in my life, jobs that do not nourish my sense of self, jobs that have me questioning my very worth. My family has very working class roots, my father was raised as an uneducated goat farmer in the south of rural Italy and my mother's side of the family worked in service and manufacturing, my mother being the first in her line to get a college degree. I was raised in Yorkshire in the UK and for those who do not understand what that means, it is a region once dominated by mining and mills. Our school trips were invariably bleak investigations of either farming or textile mills still strong with the resonance of children losing their lives and limbs in huge looms, working 12 hour days for the ability to survive. So the idea of pure pragmatism has some very negative connotations for me and as a result it is hard for me to see clearly in these situations. Monty Python does a great sketch with 4 Yorkshire men each complaining about how hard their lives have been  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo
      With this in mind..I was hoping it was the good tidings, but a bleak holdover still intoned the likelihood of the former. What is the chance that after so many months I would get work at the same time as the card? So I put the card aside until I could feel a little more connected to the message the card had to say, without these dire feelings influencing them. I let go of the thoughts and feelings and gave way to trust and hope once again.
     This morning the phone rang at 9am and I ran into our living room to find that it was one of the jobs calling to let me know that if I wanted work I could have a job starting next month. Its a job shoveling snow, but it gives me the opportunity to move out of the situation I am in and still have the time and mental energy to work on what I really love to work on.  It was the job I was hoping for because it will be outside, physical and that is what I need right now as a counter to working indoors at a computer. I feel that the knight was bringing me good tidings after all...I just had to hold on and remain faithful.

6 of Pentacles. Generosity and conscious giving.

 The sixes are cards of harmony and balance. They correspond to Tiphareth in the Kabbalah, which is the mystical heart of the tree. The Pentacles themselves relate to material things such as money, goods and our physical bodies.
   This card is known as the card of charity and it is easy to see why. In the centre of the card stands a wealthy merchant who is redistributing his wealth  to the less privileged. The scales, again reminiscent of the Justice card and Libra point to the balancing of material forces. In this card the high gives to the low so the scales are equalised. The scales are raised showing that fairness is the order of the day, rather than in the Justice card where the sword is raised over the scales, suggesting a time of reckoning.
    The merchant wears a multitude of different colours, the reds symbolising material vigor, the upright blue stripes representing the link from heaven to earth and the green of his boots suggests a loving groundedness. He also wears a purple scarf and sash upon his hat, which depict his spiritual royalty.
    The two lowly recipients of the coins being distributed are clad in robes which cover all but their outstretched hands and beseeching faces. Their simple attire is in direct contrast to his and suggests that their powers are still cloaked by the heavy layers they are wearing.
    The six pentacles above the scene are set out in an uneven pattern, which is bringing home the idea that this is a process of redistribution which is not yet complete. We have only just moved from the poverty of the five and now there is the steady and slow rise to the material strength of the later pentacles. The two beggars in this scene are being brought upwards by the kindness and generosity of the merchant. In the background one can see the city which seems to be present in the four of pentacles, the card of the miser. It shows that there has been movement away from this man made state of mind towards one which will allow a correct flow.
   When I first drew this card, I felt a little uneasy as my financial situation feels somewhat similar to the transition happening with the 5 of Pentacles to the 6. I feel that I have let go of the poverty mindset a great deal after finally being able to step aside from it, even if things have not been fully re-distributed yet. After asking Zoe's thoughts on the cards I realised that I was personifying myself as the rich merchant and the idea of giving away my money was causing some consternation to me. I wondered, is this card asking me to give away what I have?
      We went for lunch today with a friend of ours and I am always in awe of the way in which he seems so in touch with the material world. He simply asks and it is delivered to him, he is often giving out food to the less fortunate, clothes to those who need it and advice and solace to the afflicted. It is like the universe perceives him as a quartermaster for its distribution route. He has helped us and countless people out and asks for nothing in return, yet he is never lacking for things he needs. He considered going camping and within a week he had acquired 2 sleeping bags, a 4 person tent, 3 sleeping mats, a stove and 3 ice chests. All donated to him by people who simply did not need them any longer. No sooner than he receives them does he redistribute what he feels is not his. I learned not to hoard anything through his actions too, at first there was so much stuff he would offer that I would typically just say yes to it...knowing full well I probably would not use it but would keep it anyways...just in case.
        Now, I just ask myself if I do need it or is it destined for someone else? He still gives freely and it is a great thing to witness, even if it is simply on the periphery for now. It is making me consider my own way of thinking with regards to being free to the flow.
     I volunteer at the local hospital doing Reiki for those going through cancer treatments and there has always been a part of me that is irked by the giving of energy freely. My own thoughts have been that I am not looking after my own interests by working for free. I understand that it is valuable work and beneficial to those who receive the treatments, but I have been looking at it all wrong. I am not working for free, I am giving value to a worthy cause. Each of my work hours is of inestimable value and this is energy that is being released back into the cycle where it is most needed. It is the same with this blog. I am providing valuable information that can help people see their lives with greater clarity and open their consciousnesses up to higher planes. It is I who have valued it at zero and therefore have not really been giving. I have viewed my ideas and energy of being zero value, so when I release them out into the world I am programming my consciousness that I have contributed $0 value to my goals.
         It is no surprise that materially I get so little return. I do not doubt it returns to me on many other levels since I get so much out of giving treatments and working to raise people from their living slumber. It is better to understand that I am giving $90 treatments to those who need it.
   So for me this card is telling me to re-calibrate my material values about what I am putting out there. I really am the rich merchant in the card, I have learned that unless I am giving away something I perceive as valuable, then I restrict the ways in which it may return to me. You cannot give poverty and hope for the universe to return abundance...it just doesn't work that way!

5 of Pentacles. Poverty and deprivation.

This is a card that I always dread pulling for myself in a reading. The 5 of pentacles is regarded as a card of poverty, lack and deprivation...usually on a material level given the suit of pentacles.

Fives are typically related to struggling and strife and this one is no exception to that.

So when I pulled this card out this morning, my first feelings were not too positive. I have had a chequered past with regards to my financial path and this is a familiar card for me. Usually when I get this it pulls me down a little, but I wanted to really understand this card a little more and felt that since I have been so close to this energy I might have something to say about it with the necessary perspective.

 Both my wife and I have had to leave our jobs for various reasons, I felt pushed to leave and Zoe felt stressed in her job enough for it to have physical repercussions. But, remarkably I feel in a good position with regards to myself. I mention this because this card would usually be one that evokes fear in me, certainly in my situation, that and a feeling of hopelessness and exasperation...exactly what the card signifies on an outer level.

But of late there has been a shift in my perspective and I am seeing things in a different light. I no longer see things as hopeless, or as something to struggle through, like the figures in the card as they push through the snow. I have been reading a blog recently by Steve Pavlina, in particular this blog http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2010/11/how-to-manifest-money/ and several others. In it he suggests a game in which you just look for coins or money while you are walking and that by turning your attention to noticing money, it will begin to open you up to seeing it in all areas of your life.

So, Zoe and I tried this game while walking to our favourite bookstore, there was a little bit of a competition and between us we only found 1 cent...not the greatest result..but a start. The next day I found $40 dollars while at the gym...unfortunately... this was Toy town money...no joke! Although I did find another 1 cent piece as I was unlocking my bike. I was able to see the humour in the situation and I have steadily been finding money in small quantities each day.

I had to have a blood test this morning along with several inoculations in order to continue volunteering at the cancer centre here ( I mention this only because of the parallel of seeing so many infirm people there which is not a usual occurrence for me), so I took a walk and several things occurred to me about the card. It was that whenever I had looked at the card previously, I had not looked at the pentacles depicted in the image, I had just focused on the two figures struggling through the snow. In the image there is a warmly glowing window depicting a tree with coins growing from it and it seems obvious that the it is showing a sanctuary for them from their woes...just a short distance from them. The elderly woman struggles along with her head bowed and isn't even aware of the inviting window..which I feels shows ignorance of abundance which is right there, if she could only lift her head and look up. The second figure I have always felt more of a kinship with. He struggles through the snow, his legs lamed and he is aware of the window and the warmth. Yet there is something there that stops him. I see the expression on his face as one of jealousy and resentment, that others have those things, yet here he is struggling through the snow when it would really benefit him to enter the church and take a seat. The laming of his legs to me parallels my own struggles with my base chakra (the Muladhara) and the lack of connection or groundedness.

What I now see in that card,  is that it shows a lack of connection to abundance, not the lack of abundance. The light, the coins and the warmth are all present in the card... what is truly lacking is the will, the awareness or the motivation to make those things a part of their reality. For me the issues in my base chakra are the cause of much of the trouble integrating the kundalini  process smoothly, motivation has been a serious hold up in particular. I will talk of motivation more, but in another part of the blog as the story is too long.