Ace of Cups. Primal emotions.

   The Ace of Cups is, like all the aces the beginning of something new. The minor Arcana themselves typically denote an energy present in a situation. In the case of the aces, this energy is primal, new and very strong. I tend to see them as standing above the rest of the minor arcana, although not quite on the same par as the Major Arcana. 

  Cups is the suit of water (as if the large W emblazoned upon the side of the chalice didn't give it away). As such they symbolise the emotions in their watery aspect. 

    My expectation when I drew this card was that it would pertain to love as this is the attribution that is given in almost all the Tarot books I have looked over. Of course Love is the grandest of the emotions and naturally one would expect this card to be all about that. But expectations can often prove to be false as I discovered that love was not the subject of the card when I drew it.

   In the card we have five streams of water pouring from the cup and returning to the ocean below. The Chalice itself is made of pure gold and has three small bells hanging from it's neck, which one assumes would tinkle when the cup is pouring. Falling either side of the cup are watery yods (symbols of energy), twenty five in total. 

     The chalice itself is a powerful symbol, it's connections to legends, it's feminine nature and form and that it is a vessel for whatever we choose it to be. Many say the blade or the sharpened stone is the first tool invented, but I may argue that the vessel likely holds that accolade. A cupped hand or leaf was able to bring life giving water to a thirsty mouth well before we grasped a rock to smash something with. Taoism has a great reverence for the chalice and we have all heard the maxims about having to empty one's cup before it can be refilled. Chalices are present throughout the entire Tarot deck and appear not just within the minor arcana, but play prominent roles in some of the major arcana. 

        The idea of emptying my cup was what the card meant for me. In the last post I talked on finally being able to let go of a great deal of anger and frustration that I had found no place to release it to. I hadn't understood that I was holding onto this and a great many other things. 

       My life has been a search for how to return to a place of happiness that occurred many years ago. It was snatched away in the cruelest fashion and although I certainly did not want the same situation I have been looking for those same emotions that really now belong in the past. In understanding that those times have gone and with them the feelings that they encompassed. It is time to find new vistas, new emotions and new experiences. 

      I was finally able to articulate my rage at the universe for its cruelty and with it came a level of peace. In the card we see a dove, the eternal messenger of peace bringing a holy wafer with a cross upon it. To me it symbolises redemption and peace. Only by releasing suffering and emptying our cups back into the eternal ocean of the universe can it ever be refilled. 

    Beneath the godly hand offering the cup we can see an eternal ocean stretching into the distance. Upon the ocean float lily pads and their flowers. Lilies are flowers that grow from the decay and muck under the surface to create a truly beautiful flower above the waterline. They are a symbol to show that from death and decay, beauty can flower. 

    The Ace can symbolise that a new emotional beginning is in the offing, that by pouring out the dregs of our old emotional selves we can be refreshed and renewed. Our cups refilled once more and peace renewed.

   After a night purging myself of those old emotions I found the new day brought forth a whole selection of different and new options for me. My day filled up with appointments and people offered to pay early for my workshop, along with a host of other offers. It just shows that these things really do work!

   

2012 and the new awakening

  My monitor died this morning. It didn't happen with a bang, just an almost inaudible buzzing before the screen went black. It is the latest in a series of electronics that have given up on me in the last year. It seems like the universe is trying to give me a message and up until now I don't think I have been listening. The message isn't that technology is doomed and that we are going back to a medieval subsistence farming paradigm (at least I hope not!), it is more personal than that. I think mostly the universe speaks to us in a personal way, about our lives and what we can do to make things better.
   2012 is already upon us and many of us are looking to see something extra-ordinary happen. Whether it is the collapse of the financial institutions to aliens descending from the skies, I think we are all looking for a change in our lives. 2011 was a pretty crappy year for me and I have high hopes for this year. But it is entirely plausible that when 2013 arrives (as it inevitably will) we will look back and wonder what if anything happened. I for one would like to be someone who can say something profound did happen. If I continue to look outside myself for something to happen in order to change my life then I may well be waiting till 2013 and beyond.  Sure, something may happen on an external level and I do think it is time for a change...but I cannot sit and wait for that to occur.
     A fellow blog writer (http://www.jaimemintun.com/) recently wrote that the changes in 2012 are up to us, that we cannot sit and wait for all our wishes to be delivered to us on a plate. I am starting to see the sense in that idea. If nothing does change globally then at least it will have changed personally and I can look back at 2012 and say in all honesty that 2012 brought a great awakening.
      Luckily my monitor has a three year warranty and the nice gentleman at LG said they would even take care of delivery. It is also possible since my current monitor is discontinued that they will supply me with an improved model. None-the-less my days plan has collapsed. As my mind tried to scrabble for what I could do instead, I saw a spark of insight dancing in my being. The day suddenly seemed filled with new possibility, instead of blasting undead with lightning deep underground in the mythical land of Skyrim I could do a myriad of other things. Sure, I would have to stop work on my latest piece of art and also put off completing a teaching manual I was working on, but this ray of light seemed fleeting and would soon disappear if I let it slip from my grasp.
    Another friend of mine writes a blog on truck driving interspersed with philosophical musings (http://isterlings.blogspot.com/) and he recently asked me to give him my opinion on an article related to healing and the dynamics of healing. The article was very long and complex, but one piece stuck in my mind. It was a section on the base chakra (check out the tab at the top for more info on chakras). The interesting part of this article for me was that it related difficulties in the lower chakra to unconsciousness. That once we liberated this unconsciousness, it could be transformed into apathy (the energy of the chakra above) and so on until it was fully released.
     The cord that this struck was that I tend to get pulled back into unconsciousness, or at least semi-conscious states quite regularly. There are a number of different behaviours and habits I have adopted that bring me back out of higher states and lower my vibration. So in the interest of growth I took that spark of inspiration I felt and created a list of all the behaviours that take drag me into states of either unconsciousness or semi-consciousness. Doing this I realised that I needed to do something about this before I was overcome by another one of these habits. So I composed a list of 7 behaviours and 7 replacement habits I could cultivate in their stead. What I intend to do is to have my own 2012 awakening and do my part for global enlightenment by sticking to this throught 2012. It's kind of a challenge, but I think that is the point!

  Anyway here are the lists:
 Behaviours that create unconscious or semi-conscious states:
 1. Listening to my ipod (this is actually one of the piece of electronics that malfunctioned and no longer allows me to update my song list. I am literally stuck in the past when I listen to it..or at least my song choices from 2008).
  2. Playing Video games. This one is pretty difficult for me as I tend to play them to chill out and really enjoy them, plus I don't wish to martyr my enjoyment on the altar of growth. In order to do this I will not play games I have already finished, have not been waiting for or are for the purpose of killing time (and consciousness).
  3. Watching TV shows online. I don't have a problem with a weekly show, but I have fallen into the habit of watching them to pass the time or to distract me while I work on something else. So, like video games, no repeat show watching or for time or consciousness killing.
  4. Browsing Online. This is anything from forums, articles, flash games to craigslist or other supposed "constructive" uses. Facebook would be here if I liked or spent time here!
   5. Eating badly. For me this is sugary or chocolaty snacks mainly. Although some foods make me sleepy which is the same things as lowering my vibration.
   6. Working in jobs that limit my enjoyment. Not that I have such a job now, but I have a tendency to spend huge swathes of time making money at the expense of joy or growth. Realising that these jobs are not beneficial to my consciousness and it's growth should be enough. Such jobs are one in which I am counting down the hours till I finish or make me feel bad about myself and my life.
   7. Oversleeping or dozing. I tend to sleep long and late and will occasionally use dozing or napping as a way to pass time. This is spending time in unconsciousness in its purest form and if I can cut it back to the simple amount my body needs for rest then I will not be wasting opportunities.

Rather than just going cold turkey on them all I have also created a list of things I can do to replace the time that becomes available.

  1. Stretching or exercising. I often feel I have little time to do this, but it is simply not true. What happens is I get stuck in an unconscious or semi-conscious pattern.
  2. Un-distracted artwork (or creative endeavor). I like artwork, but the truth of it is I sometimes find it difficult to do so without a form of distraction (which inevitably gets turned off once I really start). Often finding a suitable distraction will take up more time and energy than the actual creation of the artwork!
  3. Meditation. This is simple enough and always beneficial.
  4. Conversation on enlivening topics. I wanted something on the list that wasn't solitary and would help me avoid listening or partaking in gossip or discussion of people's problems.
   5. Body or Energy work. This includes for myself and others.
   6. Productive or constructive work. From writing blogs, to creating value for my products or services that will eventually benefit others. This may include jobs that are growth inducing or learning new skills (languages, instruments, techniques).
   7. New or enjoyable experiences. Whether this is starting a class, going somewhere interesting or new or trying something different. Providing it is dropped if it is not enjoyable or productive.

  Hopefully I can maintain this, but putting it out there means I have to take it a lot more seriously than if I just wrote it in my journal!
  I believe increasing my own consciousness is a good way accelerate the process of global enlightenment and feel good about myself at the same time.

Queen of Wands. Occupying centre stage.

    The Queen of Wands is one of the brighter court cards. She represents the female aspect of fire in its ruler-ship position and that of water and fire. It is also difficult to ignore the Leo symbolism within this card, there are lions on the back of the throne along with a sunflower.
     The sunflower is also represented within the Sun card. The sunflower itself is seen as a symbol of happiness and joy. The open face of the sunflower follows the progress of the sun making it an extremely active plant.
   Whenever I get this card it is linked to strong and vivacious women, usually Leos. Leo women tend to be pretty straightforward and are able to keep a good amount of optimism throughout situations that would have the less fiery signs sobbing into their tissues.
   The queen in this card is clad in a bright yellow gown, which immediately stands out and this is the way that this queen would have it. She is a bright individual who stands out from the wallflowers and is not afraid to stand up front and take the spotlight. You may also notice the soft lavender cloak she wears over her yellow attire, you might not see this soft tender side immediately as the yellow can be so overpowering, but it is certainly there. Lavender is a soft spiritual colour linked to a higher form of feminine intuition which this lady has in spades.
     At her feet sits a black cat. Black cats are symbols of luck, both for ill and for good. Each country seems to have its own ideas on whether they are good or bad, or even if the cat has to be walking in a certain direction! In this instance I would say that the queen is lucky as the cat sits at her feet and is a further representation of the queen herself. She can be somewhat fickle and prone to chase the limelight.
    There is also a further aspect to this fiery queen, the ability to voice her thoughts on matters large and small. She fully believes in her ability to speak the truth of the matter, not in a logical and intellectual way like the Queen of Swords but in an inspired and impassioned way. She is intuitive, intelligent and somewhat psychic and her Leonine demeanor gives her the strength and courage to voice her feelings and insights. At best she can captivate and illuminate a room, at worst she can come off as condescending and rude. Her fiery spiritual nature connects her to greater and deeper truths than those of the trodden masses and she is not afraid to make sure everyone knows it.
      Being a Leo myself (albeit a male one!) I can connect to this card somewhat and it has caused me to examine a way of being that I have encountered in my life. Recently I have found need to stand up for myself a great deal more as an individual, to not take abuse active or passive. This has been all well and good but there is a further element that has until now escaped my attention.
     It seems that I have encountered a greater number of people who have the ability to drone on for extended periods without a break. Most of these individuals come across as somewhat harmless. But they do have the ability to bore a room or to get people to roll their eyes or glance at their watches once they begin. It is like they have an internal monologue that they feel the rest of the world needs to hear. Even their own eyes glaze over once they begin, like they have left their mouths running while their brain rummages through the meaningless thoughts and ideas they stored up in their mental filing cabinets. It just happens that one of these people is a Leo. Now I am aware of the irony of this and I may well have the same problem myself once I get going on a subject I believe I am informed about...but hopefully not to this degree.
    I do feel a little exposition is helpful in bring a point across...but there are limits. My problem with them is that they continue to speak regardless of the fact that the person(s) they are addressing have shut up shop and are waiting for the next available out.
    How does one get them to either stop or get to the point without hurting their feelings? What occurred to me was that if I do this, then how would I like to have my attention drawn to the matter? I settled on the simple line of "You're rambling" if they get out of control, or a sharper "Does this have a point?" if it has gone on for a significant length of time. Hopefully I can be aware and courageous enough to use a softer line earlier on as ideally this is how I would like to be brought back to the present. Sometimes the person does it long enough to start sapping your patience and your energy and it becomes harder and harder to make an effective escape. In these circumstances being harsher is totally justified as they can kill a conversation and occupy centre stage.
    I recognise my own absence of power in letting these situations over run me and then feeling trapped or powerless as they chunter on to the point in which they finally shut up and leave the room. It is a form of energy vampirism, just on a minor level and in many cases totally unconscious. Letting it continue is a form of cowardice in wanting to avoid possible conflict. Nobody wants to come across as a bad person and these individuals can often use it to their advantage as they are unlikely to be challenged for such a minor matter.
     This of course is the shadow side of the Queen of Wands and can be avoided with a little bit of courage and the strength to confront, after all they are just trying to help!   
   
     

3 of Cups. Celebration of the female.

   The three of Cups has a simple design and a simple message. The three women on the card are raising their glasses in celebration. What is interesting about this card is the triplicity. In astrology if three points on a chart are 120 degrees from each other they form a triplicity or a trine. This means that there is a element of kinship, comfortableness and co-operation between the three similar facets.
    The three ladies on the card here look as though they could be sisters. Each wears a different coloured robe, but the colours function well together and there is no antagonism between those elements. The red represents passion, the white purity and innocence and the yellow clear thought.
   The number three has always had magical connotations, especially where it concerns the female element. Three witches, three sisters, three phases of the moon and the triple faced goddess. This card represents the cups or emotional element and as such the female aspect is ascendant. This doesn't mean that men are excluded, it simply means that the female aspect within us all is ascending powerfully.
    As such it represents a time of celebration. For me it is bringing an awareness of thankfulness for the women in my life, for without whom I would not be where I am today. The card represents union and support, kinship and the bond between friends. One source calls this the card of sisterhood, but I feel that doesn't quite fully touch upon this energy. As a man, I naturally am excluded from sisterhood, but that doesn't mean this card is excluding me. I would use the phrase the fraternity of man, but then I fall into the other side.
        Today I started to understand what this card means to me. I have had some recent financial woes and I have found that there has been a outpouring of support from the women in my life. Zoe is always there for me, standing beside me even when things look dark. The women at my workplace have been very understanding of my situation and offered to work with me through this time. Lilly, a recent friend of mine has offered to induct me into the deeper mysteries of the shaman despite my troubles and her own. Laura has stepped up with advice on how to move through this situation without me even asking! I can only feel deeply thankful and grateful for these and other women in my life and the support they offer.
      As a man, I have learned to soldier on through life on my own. We are taught to shoulder our burdens without complaint, to do everything oneself and that any mistakes or slips are our own faults. In this I am learning that being open the female element within oneself opens up a great power, one that many women enjoy naturally. Men do have camaraderie and brotherhood and these too are open to women also. They feel different though, more like warriors together to combine strengths than gently supportive of ones weaknesses. Often in our moments of weakness we need that support more than the gruff goading. It is a shame that more men cannot be open to this element, even within themselves and with other men and women. We all have weaknesses that need supporting and an admission of that is often a more powerful show of strength than a misguided show of bravado.
    Within the card fruits litter the floor and one can see oranges, grapes and pumpkins. I am sure everyone is aware of the symbolism of the pumpkin in relation to the story of Cinderella. It is only through the guidance of the good fairy (the higher female element) that Cinderella is able to transcend the mundane triplicity of her false sisterhood. In that instance the shadow side is apparent in which women rather than supporting each others weaknesses seek to take advantage of them.
    This card however relates to the fruits that can be gained from partaking of this trine and celebrating a common cause in which kinship is the important ideal. This itself is a cause for celebration. It is the conjuction of passion, purity and clear thought.

    Oh and if you would like to read an alternative Cinderella short story by Zoe you can find it here!
       

Seeking Joy

  This morning I couldn't help but ponder the way in which we live our lives. I was picking over old memories to understand where a big change had happened in my life. This was the change from a joy-seeking mindset to a pain-avoidance way of living. I think this happened when I was around 7 years old.
    It seems to stand to reason that we should want to live in a way that maximizes our joy, but how many of us do that?
   A few days ago I became involved in a topic of conversation regarding the cell structure of the human body and how each individual cell appears to have a basic form of consciousness. If a cell in our body encounters a foreign or possibly harmful cell then it alerts the rest of the organism to its presence thereby causing white blood cells to be released to combat the invader. The crux of the conversation revolved around how the cell "knew" what a foreign body was given the size and scope of the entire body organism and  what it needed to do in that situation. It stands to reason that the cell has a rudimentary form of consciousness, at least the ability to be able to perceive what is beneficial and what is harmful.
   Thinking back to how we are as children, we are preset to be in this joy seeking mode. Every sensation is a wonderful experience. We taste, we touch, we smell and interact with every object our budding senses can manage. Looking on a newborn or young baby we can see how joyful they are to be experiencing the world this way.
   Occasionally as the child begins to grow they start to encounter situations that are unpleasant or harmful. This creates a shying away in the organism of the body as it seeks to avoid destruction or damage.So it appears there are two drives at work. That of seeking pleasurable sensation and that of avoiding harm.
   I recall when I first encountered homework as a child. For me it was a pleasurable sensation, I got to learn and in exchange I met with praise and encouragement. What more could one want? I used to ask for extra homework and enjoyed completing tasks and being rewarded.
   It was not long before I encountered the pain of not being able to complete it on time and the punishment that came along with this outcome. At this point I feel we are at a crossroads. If our environment allows the rewarding scenario more then the punishment outcome then we are likely to stay within a pleasure seeking and fulfilling mindset. We can be "good" students through either path. Either through the avoidance of punishment or the seeking of encouragement.
   Taking the school analogy further, once this mindset has been established then most of our teachers simply discover which motivational method works best for us and employ it. Half the class is propelled into learning for the joy of learning and the enjoyment of the encouragement they are given and the other half are motivated by the desire to avoid the punishments when they don't meet the standards.
   Given the continuing likelihoods of meeting more ways of suffering harm as adults we tend to all end up at least in some areas of our life seeking the ways to minimise pain. This results in us trying to be as successful as possible within this mindset, the pinnacle of which is the complete avoidance of pain within ones life. We can be 100% successful and this doesn't result in any joy, but simply the avoidance of any negative encounters or harmful situations.
     Going back to the cell, it is possible for the cell to function effectively whichever perspective it may have. If the cell has a joyful perspective it finds pleasure in discovering a foreign body and the resulting completion of a task. The pain avoiding cell tries to minimise the greater pain in the organism and also completes the task.
    When the joyful cell completes its task it is suffused with pleasurable sensations. The pleasurable cell can be 100% successful AND this outcome leads to a joy filled life.
     It stands to reason then that having a joyful mindset is a far more efficient and enjoyable way of living. But how do we get back to this primal joy seeking perspective?
    The answer is to change the way we look at the the world and surrounding environment. Stop considering the ways in which we will suffer or be punished if we fail and start thinking of the joy of succeeding. A 5% success in finding joy is far greater than a 5% avoidance of pain.
   For me, I remember back to that time in my life when I actively sought out ways to maximise my enjoyment and feel that way again. Look at the positive outcome and shoot for that!