Cutting attachments

  We often hear about cutting ties and attachments and it is done with alarming regularity within our culture. Certainly within the healing community the practice of cutting away negative attachments is very popular. Is this really necessary all the time? In some cases is it even possible?
   Before we get into the nitty-gritty of cord cutting, I want to explain what these cords actually are. When we meet with another individual we often connect to that person and this happens on more than a metaphorical level. When we connect with another individual, be it social, romantically or through our work we create a bond that stretches from one person to another. These invisible filaments of light go from our chakras to theirs, the chakra that connects determines in which area of our life we feel connected.
    Ideally lovers connect primarily through the heart, but we can also make intellectual and emotional connections just as easily. People we feel strongly connected to are often attached at more than one chakra and those we feel little connection to may only have a single attachment if any. Through these cords we pass energy to one another which dictates the type of relationship that occurs.
      The cords themselves have as much variety as the energy fields, some are like fluid light, others are as thick and pliable as old rope. At best they are a beautiful way to communicate our energies with other beings, free of restriction and like a profound network of light. At worst they can feel like toxic hoses that drain you of your energy or pump you full of poison. Mostly they are a combination of both.
     When lovers or friends part amiably, the cords naturally detach over a period of time so that new connections can be made. If they part on bad terms, it can feel as if something has literally been wrenched out of you..this is especially painful when it occurs in the heart and often takes a good chunk of your energy to boot. This wrenching can cause all types of problems if it doesn't heal well and many times people's heart have the old remnants of attachments still embedded where they have been unable to let go fully.
    The way in which we attach and detach cords is a function of how we have learned to do so in the past, which of course leaves the door open for a lot of less than ideal situations. Some people, in order to maintain their own "power" will tear their cords out when they leave (fearing the same might happen to them), leaving a trail of damaged individuals in their wake claiming it is their own fault for not being able to handle the situation. Others will not have the strength to be so brutal and maintain toxic connections long past their sell by date.  Some will refuse to connect because they understand their own destructiveness and try and "protect" the other while covertly sapping the energy of those who try and connect. There are those who will try and connect with everyone and you can feel their tentacles searching for a purchase.
     As you can imagine, families are often the worst case scenarios for bad connections. We are born connected...quite literally! From there we build our understandings of how and when to connect and what types of connections to maintain and which to get rid of.
     This process is a mostly unconscious one and so at some time or another we are all guilty of one or more of these types of behaviour. It is not a case of berating ourselves or others for doing so, but uncovering the reasons why it occurs within ourselves and cultivating more conscious relationships.
      But what about the toxic cords? How is one to deal with these once they are discovered. A great deal of sources will say that it is best to simply cut all toxic connections and walk away and in some cases this really is the best way to deal with a negative attachment. But quite often I will see that a cord does not want to be cut, it literally will reform the moment it is sliced. From this I can see that there are deeper issues that need to be considered, or lessons to be learned.
     There are also other ideas to consider. How many times do we hear the phrase "We are all connected"? Quite a few times I'll wager, especially if you have devoted any time to self development or spirituality. I wonder how we can all be connected if people are constantly trying to cut themselves off from those parts of the universe that they don't want to be associated with. So, do we simply cut ourselves off from everyone who doesn't agree with our world view or our ideas of positivity? Then there is karmic considerations and please don't think that means you HAVE to stay connected to someone who is really not right for you! With Karmic considerations there are certain individuals that you have made agreements to work with through multiple lives and simply cutting the cord and walking away means you are abandoning that agreement. There is no inherent good or bad choice, but there are always consequences for our actions. Abandoning a friend in need because we are sick of their negativity is a lost opportunity for healing.
     Of course there are times when the cord reforms simply because a part of you is not ready to let go, be it some damaged part or your higher self with an eagle eye view of the situation.
     The best course of action is to put a truly heart felt request out to your inner self to resolve the situation or attachment.  If you don't feel this is working, or you can't feel that then there are other methods I would recommend before the fateful cutting of a cord.
    Communicating the issues is always the first port of call and it is amazing how often we bypass this, authentically speaking our feelings in a non-judgmental way can work wonders. With communicating we both have to honour our truth, but we also have to bear in mind the awareness level of the recipient or what they may have difficulty hearing. Anyone will have a hard time hearing that they sap someones energy and only the most conscious individuals will be able to hear that and do something about it without freaking out. Let them know how their actions impact you and what could be done to improve things so that you are both happy and feel nourished.
    Some people of course will still refuse to hear it and place the responsibility back upon you. There is a school of thought that espouses the idea that we are all responsible for our feelings, while this is well intentioned and speaks to the highly evolved beings we wish to become, there are certain energetic realities to contend with before we reach that point.  Each persons actions affect those around them and there is a level of responsibility for those actions. As an example, jumping into a no diving swimming pool causes a wave to spread from your point of impact. You would not say that a splashed person was responsible for the wave soaking them and while a small part of them bears a fragment of responsibility for their presence on earth and in that pool, it is trifling compared to the person doing the splashing. This splashing can occur on an emotional level and setting a boundary for how much you wish to be splashed is perfectly acceptable, just let the person know that their continued action may have you leaving the "pool".
     Another is a little more complex but is an ideal solution if it can be implemented. Toxic attachments require two points of connection, one within your energy field and one within theirs. If you raise the vibration of your point of entry and the cord, this forces the other to do the same to maintain the connection or it drops away no longer having a point of purchase. In laymans terms what you need to do is find out how and why it is affecting you in such a way and work on increasing your awareness about the issue. When the issue no longer affects you, they will not be able to attach to it.They will either evolve with it, or they will find another outlet that is not so difficult to reach (which may or may not be in you).
      This is the optimal approach as it encourages healing, fosters understanding and connection and serves as an unparalleled opportunity for personal growth.  Just remember that you need to set workable boundaries in order for this to function.
       Cutting the cord is always an option of course, but don't be surprised if another situation just like the last crops up again...