X - Wheel of Fortune

     This mysterious card the Wheel of Fortune is one of the more enigmatic cards in the Major Arcana. It is usually simplified into "luck" and seen as a benevolent card to arrive in a reading. It is regarded as heralding a change of fortune, usually for the better. How this can be conferred from the symbolism is hard to grasp.
      The card itself is bursting with images, symbols and occult looking glyphs. These can be decoded with some understanding and I will elucidate their meanings for you shortly.
     I really wanted to get to the bottom of this card as it has been sat on my desk and at my bedside table while I have pondered it's meaning. My own life has been under going some changes recently and I would hope that the changes are for the better. It has felt as though the wheel that has been stuck for so long has begun it's inexorable movement forward out of inertia.
   The disk in the centre of the card is what first draws most people's attention. It is a bright fiery red orange contrasting against the blue of the sky, the image being representative of the workings of heaven. Upon the wheel are various glyphs. We have on the outer disk the letters "T" "A" "R" "O" which follow around one full cycle to form Tarot...also Tora(h) and Rota can be gained as well as a few more esoteric forms. Interspersed with these letter are the hebrew letters which form the Tetragrammaton for the name of the God of Israel (YHWH).
      The inner circle has delineations representing the eight seasons depicted in various pagan and oriental calendars. These lines are also shown covering the four basic alchemical substances (Water, Mercury, Sulphur and Salt) which sit in the cardinal directions.
       This all adds up to a lot of symbolism pointed at calenders and complete systems with multiple components or facets making up the whole. The whole card it seems is based on complete cycles, whether it is the elements, seasons, humours, astrology or numerology (10 is the beginning of a new cycle and entrance into double digits).
        When I became ten years old, it felt like I had entered an entirely new realm. There was nothing particularly tangible about it, but I knew that I would never have a single digit age again. It was a rite of passage that once passed could not be rescinded. We all go through certain cycles and there is little we can do to change these things, they are part of the fabric of our universe. The seasons come and go, people are born, grow old and then they die. We are powerless before the wheel of time.
        We see on the card Anubis the Jackal headed God of the afterlife on the underside of the wheel, occupying a position beneath common consciousness. His role was as a guardian and protector of the dead in Egyptian mythology.  He was also given the role of judge over the souls of the dead, before it was passed on to Osiris. He also appears as a bright red, linking him with the wheel and the process of karma, judgement and the cycling of the souls onto their rightful destinations. This implies that the wheel itself is somewhat driven by karma and it will bring into being what you have sown, the judge being that of the unconscious.
         Atop the wheel sits a sphinx, she is a bright blue and is an amalgamation of the four fixed astrological signs who sit in the corners of the card (Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio and Taurus). Curiously she doesn't possess wings and the elemental beings do. The sphinx holds a sword and sits in balance atop the wheel, linking her to the attribute of mind and thought. In her I see a link to the balanced forces of heaven, a conjunction of all the elements in balance sat above the wheel. She is a master of all the elements and even of karma itself. She points to the great secret that frees you from the wheel of karmic fortune, of being aligned with heavenly forces and not being ruled by astrological influences and yet being ultimately a part of them. The lack of wings is a symbol of her choice to remain upon the wheel and the blue is her connection to the throat chakra and living in alignment.
        On the descending side we see a golden coloured snake. Snakes are a symbol of wisdom and the gold is representative of wealth. The snake brings the wisdom of the workings of the universe gathered by the four astrological signs down into the material world. This is where the good luck and wealth aspects of the card really come in. The snake has already passed the apex and is descending to earth bringing with it good fortune and great wisdom. By this we can see that the wheel has already been set in motion, that the good karma, wisdom in past actions and alignment with cosmic forces has created a beneficial aspect.
         So as to be complete the four astrological signs all sit in their corners studying books of wisdom. They are being filled with knowledge about their respective positions in the universe and they will eventually reach enlightenment (The World card).
         The Wheel of Fortune has a very heavy esoteric bias, but most people are happy to see this card as good luck without understanding the mechanisms for its creation, which are all written here upon this key. In the end there will be no need for luck as one will be free to align with whichever stars happen to be favoured, rather than being tied to one's own.
        I am not there yet, so I am simply happy to receive this card, to know that the wheel is turning and all the good I have put into play will return to me. Coincidentally (or not), it is interesting to note that I drew this card one calender year from the end of the current cycle in the Mayan calender in 2012...spooky!
     
 

Knight of Wands. Fiery crusader.

   The Knight of Wands is a spiritual crusader. His energy is vibrant and passionate and suffers no lack of zeal.
   This card has appeared with great timing for me and there are synchronicities abound within the symbolism. Over the weekend I attended  an advanced Celtic healing workshop. Within the class we journeyed several times both for ourselves and for other people within the group. Journeying is going into the inner realms to achieve a certain goal, in this case it was centred around recovering pieces of ourselves or others that had become lost or trapped. These pieces can be anywhere, sometimes they are within the middle world, the world we know but displaced in time or space. The soul pieces are parts of our psyche that fragmented due to trauma or events in our lives and become stuck at that point, unable to progress or stay with us. As shaman it is our jobs to go and seek these pieces out and bring them back. They are often emotional fragments which bring memories of ways of feeling back to us we have thought lost to us.
      There were too many journeys to relate here, but there was a journey in which I was brought back a staff of fire (which related to my ability to be brutally honest and be a more active warrior in my own life). Several took place in Egyptian style settings (either in the past or fantastical realms) which also fits with the card's background.
     Two journeys however were very pertinent to the topic of this card. The first was a journey I undertook for another. In the journey I found myself travelling to the Hopi reservation and confronting a person who had taken a piece of my partner. He didn't seem apologetic and tried to laugh it off as him just finding it, but didn't stop me retrieving the piece. When I returned to wakefulness I discussed this with my partner, she was struck by my physical description of the man and his mannerisms. She had indeed met this individual and had been through recent difficulties for which she had been forced to leave abruptly to avoid making the situation for herself worse. He had been involved in black magic and mistreatment and abuse of those who worked under him. After the journey we were both a little shaky from the experience as though it had been a physical interaction.
     I was thankful for the ability to stand up for another's rights and deal with the situation in a way I was proud of. I was able to be the spiritual crusader in this instance, even if I was informed that dealing further with this individual was not my job.
     The journey she did for me brought up several elements which have taken a while for my psyche to filter and deal with. In the journey I offered someone my heart in a town square, after which I was dismissed and rejected. My heart had turned to sand and run through my fingers. When she described it to me, it was initially difficult to understand the situation as there were several events it could pertain to, although none of them really took place that close to a town square. I put it aside to examine a little later at my leisure.
    Today after some introspection I sat down to look at my card and to understand how it fit into the scheme of things. The card itself shows a figure clad in armour astride a rearing horse. He holds his staff aloft as if it were a lance. The figure faces to the left of the card, which suggests he rides into adversity (against the usual flow). The yellow tabard he wears is covered with salamanders which are symbols of transformation and fire (see the King of Wands for a further discussion of these creatures). His armour has several flame like plumes adorning it, which are indicative of his fiery nature.
   As I regarded this character I realised that it related to the journeys I had been involved in over the weekend. Usually when you pull a court card it is a suggestion that it might be wise to embody some of the traits of the card if it doesn't directly pertain to another individual. In this case it was the former. It was advocating becoming a spiritual champion.  As I thought further about this I realised that I need to become my own champion as well as one for others.
    Many spiritual schools of thought advocate against vengeance, violence or acts of retribution. Yet this card seems to suggest that very notion. He rides forth with his club raised and he is prepared to do battle with adversity rather than passively accepting it. Common ways of thinking stand very much against the idea of the crusade or the Holy war or battle. It is often seen as an oxymoron. Yet when one looks at the pictures and hears the descriptions of angels we often find them depicted as carrying flaming swords. How can we as humans say that it is unspiritual to carry a weapon when the Arch-angels themselves do? The soft sanitised versions of angels we are bombarded with these days are corrupted interpretations of a divine force. Without them there is no divine justice, no karmic retribution and no peace. We must use the tools we have, but use them only in the application of right. The young knight in the picture runs the risk of being too zealous in his approach, but his motivations are pure and so will stop him from creating any real trouble.
    In my own journey for my partner I encountered a being clad in armour wielding a spear and a shield. She informed me that having a shield alone is not enough, that one must have an active defence against those that would seek to do harm.
    Looking then at my own fragmented soul I saw that what had been lost would not return unless it could be be promised safety and recompense for its own loss. Looking deeply at my wounded elements I began to see what they were and from where they came.
      The Town square is a place where people come together from all places and for me that place is best represented by the hostel. I worked there for many years and it was the site of my greatest sadness. A friend of mine whom I had loved dearly had spurned my friendship and turned her back on me. I realised that I had lost more than just a friend, it had also spelled the end of my belief in a benevolent universe. How could someone I cared for so deeply and offered no harm turn upon me so viciously. I lost a piece of myself that day. From that day on my universe had been plunged into a darkness so filled with ennui and hopelessness that I found it difficult to find reason to go on.
     Over the years I see glimpses what was lost occasionally. It manifests as a feeling of profound happiness that disappears as abruptly as a breeze. It is a weight that keeps me tied to the earth, stops my heart from lifting in song and ensures that ennui is never far from my door. My basic nature is one of optimism, even in spite of this weight and I have no doubt I will one day find a way to lift my spirits back to that point. I understand my mistake in trusting a person who would abuse my trust in such a fashion, yet that still doesn't help.
     This card though gave me an idea. I need to find that piece myself and make sure it is protected once more. I took it upon myself to give myself that piece of justice, to rescue those pieces back. I have no way of getting that back in the real world, no telephone number to call, no address or no email. So in journeying to find those elements is the only way it will happen. I journeyed back and was able to find the pieces, to take them back. Now comes the task of re-integrating them back into myself so I can feel them once again. For this there is no manual and I must trust to my own inner sense on how to do so. I do have the spiritual warrior to protect me from further harm and that in itself is a valuable lesson.
 
 
   

Giving the benefit of the doubt

  Relaxing in the bath and musing over the events of the day I had a little Eureka moment of my own.
  What I had been musing on was a phrase I tend to use often which is "giving someone the benefit of the doubt". I hadn't really considered this phrase before even though I use it fairly regularly and it has become a dictum by which I try and live my life.
   The dictionary defines it as "to believe something good about someone, rather than something bad, when you have the possibility of doing either". I tend to do this as a matter of course, believing it to be a fair and gentlemanly way to conduct oneself. Lately however I have a feeling that this modus operandi is not working in my favour.
    If I am unbalancing the scales in someone's favour, then it can hide all number of deceits that individual may perform. Surely fairness is better than offering a skewed scale, even if it is one that would seem to favour peaceful resolution (and possible conflict avoidance). Provided that the individual never tips the scale beyond a certain point, then it is likely I will not do anything to redress the balance.
   The maxim certainly doesn't seem very effective when the person in question is someone who tends to operate by sowing doubt about their actions. By creating a reasonable doubt they can hide all number of ills, when my gut is telling me the opposite.
    I have begun to consider that people who sow doubts, especially in yourself are usually up to no good. The margin of error I give them may well be the inch of rope I hang myself with. Most actual reasonable people do not give regular reason to doubt them or their motives and if they do they are more than willing to come clean and unashamedly open themselves up to scrutiny.
    This of course only needs to occur when a person gives you a reason to doubt them or their motives and if they prove themselves to be true, then an apology is often unnecessary.
      In my own life and the life of people around me recently I have seen a slew of people trying to shift blame and to place seeds of doubt in others. This is especially effective if the victim has a strong sense of conscience as a highly conscientious person does not wish to be placing blame on another without sufficient evidence. The people involved in doing so have used a number of different tactics to achieve their aims such making the victim responsible for their own bad treatment, creating a sense of reasonable doubt, asking for evidence and many other tactics.
    Zoe and I have recently been watching a slew of crime shows from the obsessive compulsive Monk, to the little Belgian (Poirot) and our recent pleasure is Castle. One thing I have gleaned from the shows is that when the murderer starts talking about evidence he is clearly guilty of something. The detectives in the shows cannot afford to give the benefit of the doubt as reasonable doubt plays into every situation they are in. Of course at the end, evidence is necessary to create the case and put the guy/girl away, but they seek evidence from all parties, including the innocent parties. If this is obstructed then there is a reason to be suspicious.
    Often in my life I find that I am easily thrown off by a profession of innocence or a person creating doubt, rather than a lack of a evidence. In fact I would go so far as to say I ignore evidence to make things fit into a situation in which there will be no wrongdoing.
   Maybe this comes from my belief that all people at their core are good. This I do feel truly, even if the person is not aware of it, but I have failed to take into account that the person who feels that way will act in accordance with their beliefs. If a person believes that they are bad, that the universe is unfair or that they have to get one up on others to survive, they will act in accordance with this regardless of whether it is true or false. They will seek to perpetuate their belief systems because they believe them to be true. I can't rely on that core level of goodness to help me out, because that person is not in touch with that element of themselves. I am not here to prove them wrong, but I can take steps to avoid being stung by such pessimists by recognising their ability to act in accordance with their core beliefs regardless of their veracity.
    This little insight into human behaviour has just given me the ability to look at situations without a bias towards the positive..which believe it or not...is a positive thing!
   
 
 

6 of Pentacles. Generosity and conscious giving.

 The sixes are cards of harmony and balance. They correspond to Tiphareth in the Kabbalah, which is the mystical heart of the tree. The Pentacles themselves relate to material things such as money, goods and our physical bodies.
   This card is known as the card of charity and it is easy to see why. In the centre of the card stands a wealthy merchant who is redistributing his wealth  to the less privileged. The scales, again reminiscent of the Justice card and Libra point to the balancing of material forces. In this card the high gives to the low so the scales are equalised. The scales are raised showing that fairness is the order of the day, rather than in the Justice card where the sword is raised over the scales, suggesting a time of reckoning.
    The merchant wears a multitude of different colours, the reds symbolising material vigor, the upright blue stripes representing the link from heaven to earth and the green of his boots suggests a loving groundedness. He also wears a purple scarf and sash upon his hat, which depict his spiritual royalty.
    The two lowly recipients of the coins being distributed are clad in robes which cover all but their outstretched hands and beseeching faces. Their simple attire is in direct contrast to his and suggests that their powers are still cloaked by the heavy layers they are wearing.
    The six pentacles above the scene are set out in an uneven pattern, which is bringing home the idea that this is a process of redistribution which is not yet complete. We have only just moved from the poverty of the five and now there is the steady and slow rise to the material strength of the later pentacles. The two beggars in this scene are being brought upwards by the kindness and generosity of the merchant. In the background one can see the city which seems to be present in the four of pentacles, the card of the miser. It shows that there has been movement away from this man made state of mind towards one which will allow a correct flow.
   When I first drew this card, I felt a little uneasy as my financial situation feels somewhat similar to the transition happening with the 5 of Pentacles to the 6. I feel that I have let go of the poverty mindset a great deal after finally being able to step aside from it, even if things have not been fully re-distributed yet. After asking Zoe's thoughts on the cards I realised that I was personifying myself as the rich merchant and the idea of giving away my money was causing some consternation to me. I wondered, is this card asking me to give away what I have?
      We went for lunch today with a friend of ours and I am always in awe of the way in which he seems so in touch with the material world. He simply asks and it is delivered to him, he is often giving out food to the less fortunate, clothes to those who need it and advice and solace to the afflicted. It is like the universe perceives him as a quartermaster for its distribution route. He has helped us and countless people out and asks for nothing in return, yet he is never lacking for things he needs. He considered going camping and within a week he had acquired 2 sleeping bags, a 4 person tent, 3 sleeping mats, a stove and 3 ice chests. All donated to him by people who simply did not need them any longer. No sooner than he receives them does he redistribute what he feels is not his. I learned not to hoard anything through his actions too, at first there was so much stuff he would offer that I would typically just say yes to it...knowing full well I probably would not use it but would keep it anyways...just in case.
        Now, I just ask myself if I do need it or is it destined for someone else? He still gives freely and it is a great thing to witness, even if it is simply on the periphery for now. It is making me consider my own way of thinking with regards to being free to the flow.
     I volunteer at the local hospital doing Reiki for those going through cancer treatments and there has always been a part of me that is irked by the giving of energy freely. My own thoughts have been that I am not looking after my own interests by working for free. I understand that it is valuable work and beneficial to those who receive the treatments, but I have been looking at it all wrong. I am not working for free, I am giving value to a worthy cause. Each of my work hours is of inestimable value and this is energy that is being released back into the cycle where it is most needed. It is the same with this blog. I am providing valuable information that can help people see their lives with greater clarity and open their consciousnesses up to higher planes. It is I who have valued it at zero and therefore have not really been giving. I have viewed my ideas and energy of being zero value, so when I release them out into the world I am programming my consciousness that I have contributed $0 value to my goals.
         It is no surprise that materially I get so little return. I do not doubt it returns to me on many other levels since I get so much out of giving treatments and working to raise people from their living slumber. It is better to understand that I am giving $90 treatments to those who need it.
   So for me this card is telling me to re-calibrate my material values about what I am putting out there. I really am the rich merchant in the card, I have learned that unless I am giving away something I perceive as valuable, then I restrict the ways in which it may return to me. You cannot give poverty and hope for the universe to return abundance...it just doesn't work that way!

XI-Justice. Part 2. Judgement and Intolerance

Yesterday I pulled the Justice card from the deck and talked about Karma and my views upon it. It seems that the card still has more to share as I spent time this morning in meditation and several pertinent issues arose for me.
   The issue of judgement is one that naturally arises when one considers any form of justice. The phrase "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven" is a biblical quote from Luke. This falls in with what I was talking about in my last posting, that what you create returns to you.
   During my meditation this morning I suddenly became aware of a hypocrisy within the way that I live and it was related to the idea of judgement and intolerance.
    I find it difficult to be tolerant of issues cropping up in others that I have already worked through. My patience for dealing with such things seems to be limited as though part of me is saying "What? You haven't learnt this already?". Even if I only just figured it out myself in that moment! It is like I suddenly flip to having known it all along and become frustrated with the ignorance of the person still struggling for clarity... I am aware of how silly and irrational this is..now at least. 
   Yet at the same time if I haven't figured something out yet, I will plead for clemency and ask for more understanding from the judging person. It is as though I embody both the judge and the accused. It is though I can see myself in both roles, I judge a person ignorant, condemn them for it and I am merciless until they are proven "innocent" by overcoming the ignorance. At the same time in the other role I find it hard to overcome certain obstacles and encounter a cold judgement from what seems the universe until I figure it out. Often being placed in a type of purgatory until I can remove the difficulty.
    Seeing it this way allows me to understand the judge within me that is also the accused party. I can sense the energy of judgement within me and in return I find myself judged, all on an internal level. This in turn affects how I live my life in the world and the way that it reacts to me.
    Others in my life have pointed this hard judgement out to me before, but I have not been able to understand  it on a deep enough level and so I have faced their judgement...which in turn is only a reflection of my own self.  The key to this..the antidote energy as it were, is compassion and understanding. I need to be able to see myself in the role of the accused and feel an empathy for their struggle. To be able to reach out a hand to those that still suffer in compassion rather than judgement and in doing so the world will lend a hand to me out of the same feeling. 
     Because I understand now the mechanisms that underlie the issue, when the feelings of intolerance and judgement arise in me once more, then I can note them and move beyond them to treat the situation with compassion and understanding. This will help reprogram my own patterns and I will be able to avoid getting stuck that groove again. 
    Looking back over how I deal with myself I see that I sentence myself to periods of purgatory until I "learn", rather than rehabilitating myself with more positive behavioural methods. The judicial system is alive within me it seems...thank goodness  I don't practice capital punishment for my inmates! 
    There is also another part that is still unresolved which is preventing me from closing this blog just yet. It is the way in which I treat the inmates I guess and maybe even than I see them as inmates. I don't wish for my life to resemble a correctional facility for unruly elements. It is in trying to find a balance with helping these elements grow and reach their potential without placing them in confinement until they reach maturation. Ideally each element would be loved and nurtured regardless of their unruly nature but firmly prevented from ruling or governing any other parts until they have reached the point they can successfully do so without causing harm.  

XI-Justice

This is the first Major Arcana card that I have drawn so far. The Major Arcana are some of the most powerful cards in the deck and pulling one usually suggests something going on beyond just the mundane. If a reading has plenty of these cards then the issue may be especially relevant.
    This card has alot of rich colours and the central figure similar to the typical figure of justice is a woman (although it is kind of difficult to tell with this card!). The royal purple suggests a heavenly appointment and the crown signifies the authority to dispense justice. The reds and greens create a striking contrast, as does the purple against the yellow crown. These complementary colours show the power inherent in the card. The scales in her hand connect the card to Libra and also to Venus..its planetary ruler. The upraised sword is perfectly straight and poised to dispense whatever measure may be necesary. Everything in this card suggests balance, equanimity and fairness..even her scarf is symmetrical.  The only imbalance is her foot poking out and pointing to the right, which I feel doesn't need to be explained further.
    One very important consideration with this card is that she, unlike our statues of justice has no blindfold. While human justice is blind, it appears that divine judgement suffers no errors or bias. One of the major aspects of this card is the understanding of the workings of karma. In a way she very directly portrays karma in action, impartial, but all seeing.
     Now, the general idea of karma can be very limiting. What you sow is what you reap. While this is true, it can lead to some very basic errors about how it functions. It can give the impression that it is like an inexorable wheel turning and crushing all those beneath it that have done "Wrong" and handing out sweets and feathery wings to those who have done "Good" deeds. That at some point in the future you will pay for your crimes or those acts of kindness. This can create tremendous fear and worry in those that have done wrong and a kind of smugness in those that commit charitable acts as they squirrel away good karma points.
    While this is the basic premise and it does function in such a way, there are far more elements to consider. If we imagine that every action we commit to is colour, so red is passionate actions, green is compassionate and caring, black is hate and so on. Each of these actions colours us, so the more we hate, the blacker our soul becomes and so forth, so that eventually we appear to be a record of every action we have ever taken. Now if we image that these clouds of colour hang around us and tint the world we live in, so a loving person sees the world in hues of rosey pink and and hateful being sees everything in shades of black.
    Now of course it is easy to see that the hateful person is already living his own punishment. Each action is rarely a pure colour and many times these actions become muddied (such as by smugness). But it is possible to clear away these colours through truly forgiving and reparations, which is effectively neutralising the colour with its opposite. So love cancels and reduces hatred in a very real sense.
    This model has the advantage of showing us that if you do something bad, it is not out of your hands to prevent that by neutralising it before it arrives. Of course, one must actually neutralise the right action, a murderer could not make things right by devoting money to charity..all he is doing is adding a different hue..not canceling the other out.
    So karma as I understand it is happening now..in the moment, we decide what kind of world we will see and how the future will turn out by the actions we commit in the moment..and if you don't like it..change it.
    On a personal level this card is showing me something..a choice I believe I have to make. In my last post I mentioned how with my clairvoyant sight, I find it somewhat clouded as if I was wearing a gauze over my eyes. Of course in this card, Justice has no such blindfold, even though her human counterpart does and it is ironic that it is a point to be discussed now. It has become apparent to me that playing so many video games is impairing the further growth of my abilities, as well as being a considerable time sink when I could be doing something a great deal more constructive. This has left me feeling like I have to make a choice which route I can follow. I do love playing video games, but I lose track of the time and basically fall into a trance in which the outside world becomes less relevant. Coming out of that fugue makes me feel like I have lost or wasted time..now this could be a throwback to my childhood where playing games was seen as something negative and I was often restricted as a form of punishment for bad behaviour. I don't wish for it to become some form of self flagellation or abnegation.
   But I feel I could be a great deal more productive if I didn't get stuck in it so often. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with games and gaming, in fact I think they are a great deal healthier than TV and good for developing imagination and remaining connected to child-like states of wonder.
   In the end the choice is up to me, I can attempt to reach my full potential without the games and live more in the world and in the moment.
   Or I can continue to play games and live at a lower level than I know I am capable of.
    The card is saying I can choose my path or my poison, neither is wrong, but I will get exactly what will come from each choice and must not close my eyes to the repercussions. For me there is no middle ground in this, I barely have enough will power to resist it, so I must make a clean cut either way. There is no one else to blame for my actions in this but myself.