Page of Pentacles. The sensualist.

   The character of the Page of Pentacles is an earthy one.  The figure in this card has a masculine look even though the Page's are often regarded as the "Princess" cards, representing either young or female characters.
   He gazes raptly upon the pentacle in his hands, similar to all the court cards with the suit of pentacles. This suit has a very absorbing quality which causes many people to get caught up in the material aspects of their lives. The pentacle itself looks almost weightless in his hands, as if it were ready to float away.
    The card itself is very green and verdant and the colours particularly stand out with a lot of contrasts between the greens and reds and the oranges and blues. There are flowers beneath his feet and a copse of trees behind him, while to the right one can make out a field which appears in the Knight of Pentacles.
    There isn't a great many clues as to the nature of this individual other than he represents the earthy aspect of earth. In such, he is enraptured by the very element of earth. He is likely to prize the sensory nature of his being as being paramount. Taste, touch, smell, sight and sound are all important to him. He is a sensualist in the purest sense of the word. He is the child of the earthy court cards and as such is still very much like a child learning to experience the world through their body.
     This character has not learned enough yet to be pragmatic or set in his ways, he simply is too absorbed within his own experience to give it much thought. His lack of all the other elements can have him come across as emotionless or lacking in the finer aspects of being, but he is simply uninterested in them.
   The pentacles themselves are related to money and this is important to him, it is gateway that allows him to pursue greater sensory indulgences. Touch is also a primary sense for him and any career or occupation that allows him to be tactile works well with this character, he likes to be physical and to work directly with his hands. The predominance of green suggests he could be a gardener or be somehow connected to the vegetative world.
   This card is not an aspect I have a great connection with and is an element I find difficulty embodying. My astrological chart has no earth in it and until recently green has held little or no interest to me as a colour. The appearance of this card does relate to an aspect of my life that I am attempting to bring into fruition though. I have recently been in touch with a massage school here in the hopes of being able to add this modality to my skills. I have done energy work for almost 10 years now and have been happy to continue to build and grow my skills there. But, recently I have found the need to expand and add an earthy element to my practice. There are simply some difficulties within the energy system and body that are much easier to deal with physically. Most problems have a physical element at least somewhere in the process and that has been an element that I have been unable to work with.
    The sticking point has been money. My business has picked up a little, certainly enough to feel a little more comfortable with how things are progressing and there is certainly hope for the future. But it is not quite at the level where I am comfortable also paying for a course in massage along side it. This is a shame as I have the time, but not the resources to make it work at the moment. Since I am a relatively new resident in the US I am unable to get any kind of loan as my credit score has to start from scratch.
   I have definitely been feeling the need to add an earthy component and this card is another nudge in that direction. The page however is never likely to take financial risks, he is too practical for that and I feel in this he is right. I have certainly undertaken more than my fair share of risky ventures and been burned just as many times.
  However there is also the part of me that understands that I may well be trying to make this choice because it is the seemingly best of available options. Settling for a choice that doesn't fully fulfill simply because it is available is a difficulty I have faced before and I often have trouble with this especially when it comes to material choices. There are often better ways to be fulfilled and leaping for a boat that is passing close by, but not stopping for you can be a risky proposition. Unless you are certain of course and I don't feel certain about this.
   I believe in the end the card is showing me a possibility, certainly one that could become a reality. But is also a chance for me to see how strongly I want it and right now I am wavering, so I don't feel I will be leaping for this anytime soon.

XV - The Devil

   This is often viewed as one of the most terrible cards in the deck, certainly by anyone with a superstitious or hellfire religiosity. In truth it may simply be that this is one of the more misunderstood cards in the tarot. Does is portend horrible damnation and hell-fire? No, but it does speak to those things that most devoutly minded folks fear, namely drink, drugs, anger, sex, addiction and all the perils of the material world. So, you may ask how does a card that portrays all those things possibly have a positive side?
      Well, a goodly portion of many pagan belief systems incorporate a being that exemplifies and honours those particular traits. Looking at these deities you could easily mistake them for the Christian Devil. I am looking at you Bacchus, Dionysus and Pan. These deities incorporate wild celebration, intoxication and abandon in their portfolios. This was for a very good reason and the reason that modern religions have become stiflingly staid. It was so that these elements could be safely incorporated into life without needing them to explode societally the way that any suppressed material does if not fully accepted. The celebration done in their name could seriously reduce the dangerous pressures that build up within people otherwise. It is the reason that celebration has such a strong dark side in our culture, it's moral non-acceptance.
       The card itself does also have meaning beyond this cultural understanding. It does speak to the dangers of the material world and its seductive power to entrap individuals. The figures in the card are chained to the block the winged creature sits atop, but their shackles are not so tight as to be binding. They could easily escape from their confinement if they chose, simply by slipping off the bindings. But, the pleasures and sensations of the material world often cause people to bind themselves willingly to them in the form of addictions and excesses.
       It may also be noticed that the card is spookily similar to the lovers card and the card's number 15 can be reduced numerologically to 6 (1+5) which is the number of that particular card. This refers to the danger of becoming trapped within unhealthy relationships.
     The card also has connections with Capricorn, as evidenced with the goat like legs of the devilish being. Capricorn is an earth sign and has a strong relationship with materiality. The Devil is also holding a torch which he has held in a downward position, which symbolises illuminating the lower regions of the psyche. His other hand is raised in a gesture which looks like Spock's Vulcan greeting, which in fact is a derivative of a Jewish blessing resembling the hebrew letter "shin" meaning "almighty God". This creates a strange dichotomy in the card in that on one hand he is plunging the light into the lower realms and with the other he has his hand raised as a symbol to God. This can be interpreted thus, he is in fact representing the light-bringer (Lucifer) whom God consigned to the lower realms and is challenging the querent to illuminate their own lower psyche with consciousness (could the Devil actually be a servitor of God you may dare to ask!)
     Above the head of the Devil one can see a five pointed star turned opposite to its usual aspect. When it is aligned like this it means the triumph of matter over the spiritual and is often seen as a symbol of evil. Below the Devil are two naked figures similar to the man and women in The Lovers card, they have horns upon their heads and tails sprouting grapes and fire. They have fallen to their animal nature and have become entrapped by their own inflamed desires and lust for pleasure. They warn of the dangers of indulging too deeply of sensory pleasure.
    The meaning of the card is to understand that we have an lustful, violent, addictive and angry aspect that can enslave us if we either ignore it or indulge in it too deeply. The enlightened individual is able to draw upon this reservoir of power in order to overcome earthly obstacles and to give us passion and drive to do so. They are not beholden, nor chained and can let go once it has surpassed its necessity. It can give us that connection to the earth and the tenacity and capability to ascend to high places, much like Capricorn the goat.
    This card also heavily relates to the base or root chakra and its liberation from reliance on materialism. That is how I have connected to this card. The base chakra is about survival, matter and the sensory world. It is the doorway to the cellular level of our energy system, at which our body is able to directly regulate its health and regeneration.
    I was drawn to this card after I made a break through regarding opening my base chakra. It has proven troublesome over recent years and has resulted in a level of poverty and fear on a material level. As a result my hips have tensed up and have refused to relax making exercise and stretching in particular very difficult. It has been a very long and arduous process and I understand when I begun this that it was related to this card. This insight came to me as I lived in the UK and I began to understand working through the issues contained in this chakra were not going to be an easy or quick fix. To say that what happened recently was the final catalyst for change would take away from the years of inner work that preceded it. I had to get over my dislike of materialism and the patterns that told me that money, career and focusing on daily living were only for the spiritually bereft. I had to move across the world and relocate in the US before I could happily root myself in a place I felt was right for me. I had to face deep fears of abandonment (along with actually being abandoned by my closest friend) and the resulting anger and hatred that this caused. I have been to the depths of the pit, on all levels...physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
     It has given me a great deal in return though. I have my motivation returned, I can connect to my artwork once more and can pursue my dreams. But of late another aspect has begun to finally open up. The physical aspect.
     Last year I made a resolution to be able to return flexibility to my legs and hips, to be able to stretch deeply and to remove the chronic tension. I started the year off with a yoga intensive, but quickly found that although there was some improvement, it was only incremental and would quickly return to its normal soon after I finished exercising. It was as though there was a tightly coiled spring in my hip joints that wouldn't allow any level of flexibility and pushing them only caused pain and tearing. I turned my attention to the deeper causes, the tension and it's mental connections. I understood that as long as the psychological patterns that caused my hips to tense continued to exist any exercise was basically wasted. This I know flies in the face of many people's perceptions of how exercise and particularly yoga works. But halfway through the year I found success when after a particularly deep meditation and some serious contemplation I was able to free up the area around my sacral bone in just one evening. Afterwards I was able to sit cross-legged comfortably for the first time in years. After that I was able to open up my shoulders by working on issues connected with anger and feeling like I was unable to strike out.
      In the past few days I have been able to do the same with the front of my pelvis, allowing me to be able to stretch my legs deeply to either side. This occurred when I meditated and was able to perceive on a cellular level the "feeling" of contraction in my hips and reverse it by connecting to my subconscious and requesting its reversal. It was also psychologically connected to the freedom of my artwork and its previous "tightness".
      This for me represents a massive shift in terms of my comprehension of matter. I no longer feel chained and have the tools to remove the remained of the bindings that have occurred physically over the years. It has also allowed a new level of expertise in my healing work that I feel is yet to be fully understood by myself.
      The Devil card represents such feelings of being bound and trapped by an external force much greater than ourselves. We can struggle for years against the chains of anger, violence and addiction. We can feel hopeless and helpless. We can feel trapped in darkness and unable to free ourselves because we cannot see our bindings. Yet the chance for freedom lies within the grasp of our own consciousness if we can only find the chains that bind us and lift them from us.
      The Devil thrusts the torch downwards to illuminate the figures so they might see their bindings for themselves. He has enticed us and seduced us, yet he offers us the power to remove those bindings if we are only to look. It is us that stay trapped in those cycles, he cares not if we escape and even seeks to aid us if we dare ask our captor..."What binds me?"
   
 

V - The Hierophant

   Drawing this card has coincided with lots of situations that involve teaching, which is relevant as the Hierophant is a teacher, specifically a spiritual teacher.
    He is the embodiment of the external teacher, a person you can turn to in the real world that can help you ascend the ladder of illumination. Of course, this being may be a woman or a man, or even an institution of some type. Whoever they are they have a set of guidelines and a method of teaching that they follow. There is an element of dogma involved, which although has a bad reputation can prove helpful if applied correctly.
    I myself am a Reiki Master teacher, which means I have both the know how and the qualifications to teach others how to practice Reiki. In the past week I have received several requests for information about when and if I will be running workshops. I have not run any workshops out of my new practise yet, so it is going to be a new endeavor for me on some level. This always creates a small level of anxiety as I want to provide the best training possible, yet in the past have often exhausted myself in running workshops that involve giving too much of myself and my time.
    On the other hand I also attend several other workshops and have been enjoying being taught new techniques. Balancing this all is new and to realise one can be both student and teacher at the same time is a very helpful exercise in humility. I also used to presume that teacher was a level that one acheived when a sense of mastery was accomplished. Now, I see that things are not that simply cut. I do still believe that before you can be a teacher you must have a degree of competency otherwise you risk damaging your  integrity. But mastery is not a prerequisite.
     Also Zoe is considering taking a teaching course in Bikram yoga this year and it has both been in our conversations and in our minds. I think she would make an excellent teacher as she has a quiet competency in all she does, plus the fact that everyone immediately likes her.
      The hierophant in the card is represented as a papal figure, which for me has slightly negative connotations given its religious roots. It has an energy of orthodoxy and conservatism, of dogmatism and a disconnection from authenticity. He represents an external guide in the spiritual and for me the slightly negative connotations caused by the religious setting are only superficial.
     I have certainly encountered my fair share of poor teachers. Many simply lack a genuine connection or love of the subject matter (one feeds the other of course). Others enjoy a sense of superiority that the position affords them and the ability to make others feel inferior. These situations can all be exacerbated by hidebound interpretations and hierarchical structures.
     Then there are the good teachers, those who can open you up to new vistas. Who can infuse you with their love of the subject and a fresh perspective on an exciting subject. It is a shame that the bad teachers often outnumber the few great ones you encounter, but there are certainly great teachers out there to be discovered.
     The card has a great deal of symbolism, but the majority of it is connected to the papacy and the church. The major features to note are the twin pillars which are also featured in the High Priestess card (the Hierophant's female counterpart). Whereas the High Priestess represents internal teachings, the Hierophant represnts external or exoteric teachings. Both have their places.
     Exoteric teaching is often nessary for the masses who might lack the refinement to understand the intricacies of esoteric teachings, yet should not be excluded from the divine. Unfortunately in our day and age, esoteric teachings have fallen into disrepute and are viewed as the anti-thesis of exoteric ideologies rather than the outer protective shell. It mirrors in many ways the fall of the feminine into disrepute and the exultation of the masculine when in fact they are meant to function in unison for their mutual benefit.
     Sadly the pope represents a rather negative image compared than the spiritual and religious archetype he is meant to embody in this card.
    Inscribed lightly on the throne of the papal figure one can just make out the symbol for Taurus. Taurus is an astrological earth sign and as a result is not necessarily best suited to fine sentiments and esoteric or philosophical musings. Instead he can become stubborn or materialistic if not motivated by a more spiritual aspect from outside of himself.
   
   

2 of Pentacles. Uncertainty and imbalance.

  The 2 of Pentacles stands at the beginning of the suit and after the strong Ace, promising new beginnings we are already suffering uncertainty. The two pentacles represent material goods, work, money and even health.
    The figure is standing on one leg and trying to balance the two coins, while wearing an absurdly tall hat. Not to mention the roiling sea behind him.
   Everything about this card shouts that things are unsettled and are trying desperately to find some level of equilibrium. The figure himself looks disinterestedly off into the middle distance as though this unsettling situation is an everyday occurrence. I find myself sympathizing with him as his situation accurately depicts my own at the moment.
    His garb is simple reds and yellows, which depict this uncertainty as occurring both on a physical and mental level. Binding the pentacles together  is a green band shaped into a lemniscate. This green loop is the symbol for infinity, but in this instance it only seems to underline the fact that uncertainty and change are constant and eternal. Unusually his shoes are also this bright green, which seems to suggest that balance is found in aligning with the heart and grounding that energy.
     The figure is somewhat reminiscent of a court jester with his bright clothing and tall hat. The hat seems to further accentuate the rolling and tilting feel of the card. Hats are usually representative of the mental attitudes we possess and he is using that element in the card to make sure he doesn't overbalance. You may also notice the line across the floor near the edge of the sea, this makes the figure look as though he is on stage and the backdrop may merely be a painted image.
     Regardless of the figure's juggling , he does seem to have reached a level of equilibrium within his unorthodox posture. He reminds me of a circus clown who while appearing to be on the verge of constantly falling somehow manages to maintain his equilibrium and not spill whatever he is carrying.
     The ships in the background are riding the comically curving waves and their journey if those waves are to be believed would certainty be bumpy.
     This card is how I feel at the moment in my financial situation. I am juggling several different possibilities for work, while trying to maintain a firm base and I feel like a clown trying to keep a tall stack of plates from falling. Like a cosmic jape that is no longer funny I have passed into the realm of not caring about the performance any longer and it is only a matter of time before the plates come crashing down if no real and enduring equilibrium is found.
     Another interesting aspect for me within the card is the aspect of balance as related to physical health. I have been attempting to stretch out my hamstrings and inner knees and finding that when I walk the tightness causes me to walk on the outer edge of my feet. Balancing because of this is more difficult as I tend to sway to either side as I balance on one leg! I noticed some tension in this area as I relaxed in bed last night pondering the day I had been through.
        I had run a game of Llumination for the staff at the healing centre. Now Llumination is a tarot based game that I am trained to facilitate. It is kind of like a group tarot reading, but with input from all the other people partaking. It can bring up some interesting topics and can be a lot of fun and very involving for all playing. As I ran the game, we came close to the last round of questions. One of the participants had asked a question about when something would be coming to an end for her, something she has been looking to have closed for over a decade. The game gave the answer that there would be resolution within one month.
       Now, for me I find giving such definitive answers is a risky business. I have felt burned too many times by things not coming to pass quite as I had hoped, of leaping and not finding a net beneath me. So much so that my tired old knees protest every-time I have to have faith in something working out as the universe has dictated. Looking back at the situation while I lay in bed I could feel my knees tensing up, even just thinking about having faith in such a definitive answer.
        There was a time in which my faith was much stronger with regards to financial matters and such a leap would not have bothered me and lo..a net would appear. Yet, somewhere along the way I have lost that gung-ho attitude and I wonder if a lack of faith is causing me to falter when I am left with such a clear answer.
      For me I feel the card points to a deeper problem, that of returning the fearless faith I had in the universe, for without such a faith I just ending damaging my knees after a bad landing. I took a nasty fall and I am afraid to go back and take the high wire once more for fear that once more the net will be gone when I leap.
   

9 of Pentacles. Financial independence and superiority.

     This card is about plenty and the freedom granted by financial independence. It has brought up a great deal of personal baggage in trying to get myself into the right frame of mind to discuss it. Sometimes entering into the mind state of the card is harder than usual, certainly if the card represents a state that is not resonant for me at this time.
     None-the-less I will discuss the card before delving into the more personal aspects. The nine is close to the end of the material cycle represented by the pentacles, we are almost at fullness within this suit. The lady in the card is enjoying all the fruits that material security and independence can buy. She is leisurely enjoying her estate in a fine robe covered in Venusian symbols. Venus being the planet of beauty it shows that her finery is of the greatest opulence. It is a golden robe, which again exemplifies the wealth this card represents. The trim on the robe, along with the hat she wears is a vivid red. Red being a colour of vibrancy, material power and vigour.
        Behind her is a golden sunset, the composition balanced by two trees either side of her. The Venusian symbolism, the finery and the balance all suggest this card has links to Libra.  To either side of her are the pentacles stacked alongside the rich bunches of grapes, suggesting she can afford to enjoy the finer things in life. The hooded hawk itself is another symbol of aristocracy, also showing her freedom to move about and return to a comfortable resting place. It's hood remains in place as it is not now the time to hunt, but to relax.
       At the foot of the card is a snail showing the leisurely and sedate pace created by the secure foundation of wealth. There is no hurry and what one has is simply to be enjoyed.
      The card itself seems simple in its analysis but it has been difficult for me to feel the energy behind it. My current financial situation does not reflect the energy of the card, if anything it reflects its opposite. For me my life does not include a material stability or the ability to take things easy and enjoy the finer aspects of living. This created a great deal of conflicted feelings as most of the cards I have drawn have had a real life situation occur that allowed me to understand the energy. Instead this card has raised frustrations and ugly feelings.
      Rather than feel stuck, I have looked at the feelings that have emerged in trying to emulate this mindset in attempt to understand why I cannot bring this energy into fruition in my life. Much as when trying to flush out a blocked pipe the first thing to emerge is the cause of the blockage and all that has caused the clogging.
     What arises in me is envy. Envy is not an emotion I am used to. Although once I look at it, I see how pervasive it has become in my own life. Being brought to my financial knees has magnified the envy I feel for all those around me in such a way that it has become an intolerable noise. Upon further examination I see that it goes even deeper into my psyche. Last night as I drifted off to sleep I asked for a dream to elucidate my situation so I could better understand how this feeling may be blocking me.
      I dreamt that I was in a department store in which several high-tech stands were set up. I was there with my younger brother, although he was much younger in the dream...little more than a young child. I was in possession of a large felt block or box which strapped onto my back by virtue of a Velcro strap. When I put the pale green box onto my back I could hover about at a height of a foot or two. It was quite a pleasurable experience and the box itself felt weightless. As I was hovering about, my brother threw a toy or figurine into a glass display case shattering the front. One of the shop workers came over and scolded me for my brother's actions and informed me that I wouldn't be able to work there because of his action. I felt non-plussed by this as I wasn't really interested in it in the first place. I was considering offering the box to my brother when the dream shifted. It then moved into another aspect about another area of my life which does not seem relevant.
      Symbolically the green represents envy and the block...well that represents a block. But, the dream suggests that I am willingly donning the block because it elevates me. I can understand how this may be. I can feel elevated by my envy, I can even feel an element of superiority (aerial superiority!). If I feel elevated then I would naturally feel envious of those who are below me from possessing what I do not. My desire is not born of a genuine desire, but from a righteousness derived from a false sense of superiority. Letting go of this envy and the superior elevated position, although less pleasurable immediately will lead to me finding my own level. It will put me in contact with the earth and ground me in reality.
      It is easy to find the source of this. Growing up I was the smallest in my year...bar the kid with a growth disorder. I was also one of the youngest, struggled with my school work and was naturally shy. My family was not wealthy so seeing others with more was a regular occurrence. My father also had a serious inferiority complex, often claiming that Italians were responsible for every single good thing in civilization and therefore by extension he was part of that legacy. I could go on, but it does not serve as there are many factors in this stew and no one thing is fully responsible.  It is natural that I would want to feel bigger, better and superior to those who surrounded me, if only to be able to compete.
      I can see that this constructed sense of superiority disconnects me from the earth and my true self. I know I possess many good qualities and this envy exists because of my childhood difficulties. It is difficult for me to feel a desire for something without going through a sense of entitlement born of an elevated sense of self. But it is not connected, it is not genuine and only serves to feed this dynamic of envy.
     The block in the dream is only connected by a strap of Velcro, yet the desire to feel elevated is strong. Finding a block that doesn't weigh me down is novel, as in my experience they often possess a weight which creates a lethargy and feelings of heaviness. Letting go of the block means letting go of a safety mechanism that has been in place for a long time and has served to keep me afloat when things should have buried me. I know now that I can rely on my own self worth and do not need to keep an aid to buoyancy with me. It is only keeping me from connecting fully with the earth.
      In the end I have to let go of this barrier to financial independence, the feeling that has kept me safe for so long. Because it no longer serves and only suffices to keep me disconnected. The elevated sense of self. It is the shadow side of the 9 of Pentacles, an elevated sense of superiority. Granted by things real or imagined.

4 of Pentacles. Greed and miserliness.

      The four of Pentacles is a card about greed and miserliness. Picking out this card has given me the opportunity to really examine my views on greed and stinginess.
    Greed has always been one of those negative traits that has kind of been out there, one that other people possess. Possessed by people who roll around in money and laughingly clutch at their vast array of belongings. I guess Scrooge McDuck, or King Midas comes to mind when I think of greed. Miserliness for some reason speaks to me of a penny pinching attitude, possessed by the poor. Regardless after some reflection I have realised that these fictitious individuals don't really reflect the true face of greed. Often we think of greedy people as being jolly and somewhat corpulent, always wanting more. This I feel blinds us to its true face.
     The King in the card has little regalness.  He hunches over on a simple stone plinth, holding tight to his pentacle. The drab steel grey of the sky and the somewhat muddied colours of his clothing present a somewhat dreary picture. What strikes you about the figure is his attachment to the pentacles, they are on his mind, in his hands and literally under his feet. He is out of touch with everything apart from the material, even the city seems distant.  Everything in his posture talks of tightness and clenching. This mindset exemplifies greed.
       Greed is being so scared about the lack of money, that one holds onto what one has for fear of losing it. This is the real face of it, not laughing exuberance and swimming through money. Charles Dicken's Scrooge was much close to the reality, although his general unpleasantness made it hard to empathise with him. Most people are so repulsed by this exaggeration that they would rarely ask themselves if they are driven or motivated by greed. A better way to phrase it would be, are they motivated by fear of lack?
       Most people's understanding of greed is closer to gluttony. The reality of greed is much sadder. It is a genuine fear of not having enough, it is generated by a poverty mindset. It rarely matters if they actually have enough, the fear is so all consuming that it doesn't allow them to look around and appreciate, they need to consider how to survive. This creates a tension and a tightness. How could they possibly give if they don't even have enough to guarantee their own security!
     In the card you can see a beautifully coloured city behind the seated figure. He seems unaware of it, so concerned with the four coins he holds. The purple robe, now darkened is a remnant of his divine pedigree. The red robe beneath it speaks of the passion and activeness now gone stale and stagnant, his energy simply being used only to hold on tightly to what he holds in his hands. The streak of blue on his robe relates to communication and spirituality, which has fallen all the way to the hemline. It shows that all is not lost, but things are upside down, that his priorities are switched.
       Money has an importance, it is a form of energy. It is a crystallised symbol of a transaction. It denotes a level of power and freedom, but only on the material plane. Outside of this it is powerless, apart from the level of fascination it holds for others similarly entranced.
       This card has one other element which is of importance. It is to do with a closed hand, or a closed circuit. The figure's arms on the card form a closed loop. While he retains a closed grip nothing new can enter the equation, only by opening up and letting go does he allow the greater flow through him. Any situation that remains locked in place cannot be open to change apart from through violent means (see the Tower card!).
     For me this card has allowed me to look at my own interactions with money. It all came home to me recently when I had my first client at the healing centre I work at. His payment was by credit card and it being a holiday, it means that the money will not hit my account until midweek when the cheque clears (from the centre). As soon as I received the cheque, even though I could not cash or spend it, it was already mentally split and spent. This left me with a sense of lack, which is silly given that I hadn't even had the money yet. It is like the demons that need to be pacified hide in the shadows and wait until they see a glint of gold. As soon as this occurs these desperate energies descend like proverbial harpies and it is all I can do to hold onto what I have. I am realising now (thanks to some great advice from Zoe) that I need to wait until the harpies have flown away empty handed before I choose the way in which to apply the money. This will allow me to not give in to panic and end up blowing the money on whichever fear is the most intimidating. It seems so simple and it is a technique I apply in pretty much every other area of my life, but with money it is so easy to lose my head and given in to these pressures. What is worse is allowing these thought to intrude on situations with our combined money since we have had to pool resources to make things work.
    I am hoping that there will be a better way to deal with these concerns than to be paying constant attention to them, but it may simply be learning to be more aware! When this card appears, it is showing us that we are holding onto something too tightly in our life and are not open to an influx of the new, be it a relationship, a new job, more money or even a new way of thinking.
   

10 of Pentacles. Wealth and inheritance.

  The 10 of Pentacles has been a rare card in my readings. It is a good card, with a lot of positive elements.
  The suit of Pentacles is concerned with money, health and family. The last card in the suit of Pentacles as a number 10 it signifies the end and culmination of material matters. The Pentacles are a symbol for the element of earth and earth, like water, only strengthens with multiplicity. Therefore, this card is very positive when it comes to material endeavours as the suit has come full circle to the full embodiment of material power that was present in the Ace.
   The card is full of rich imagery and it is hard to tell where things begin and end with the fullness of the card. The pentacles themselves are laid out in a pattern that reflects the Tree of Life (the ten sephiroth from the Kabbalah). The tree is a map of human consciousness and the universe based on the idea of what is above is also reflected below and that all creation can be seen in a single grain of sand. The 10 of Pentacles is really the last in the series of Minor Arcana with what was begun with the Ace of Swords (the original expression of a thought, if one is using the kabbalistic school of thought ). Being the last, it also reflects the beginning as all cycles do and the symbol of the tree is homage to that.
    Looking at the card one can see the full range of life played out in the card: there is a child, a couple and an elder with several dogs around him. This shows the connection to the family and the idea of generations. One can see how it can be connected to the idea of inheritance or family wealth. The card is also set within a house as evidenced by the archway with a city view, which suggests security but not in a restrictive fashion. There is so much detail as to be overwhelming, which is only right given the Pentacles as the ruler of the material realm. Pictures of castles and boats adorn the inner walls of the house along with a fresco on the left of the image, all showing material wealth and extravagance.
    The city beyond shows a tower, a house and the city wall, all depicted in a rather neutral orange/yellow almost as if it were reaching dusk and the sunset were reflecting off the walls. Each of the symbols represent security and stability in a very man-made fashion and the flash of green above the walls shows it is not unconnected with nature.
   The child represents youth and he reaches out to touch the tail of the dog, who is in turn at the lap of the elder creating a cycle between all the players. The male figure in the couple is a guardsman with his spear at the ready, although he is engaged in friendly dialogue with the mother of the child. This represents the idea of safety and protection and no immediate danger. The elder represents the final phase of the cycle and so he is richly adorned in a robe of earthy colours, covered in patterns and geometric shapes. These elements are not the typical metaphysical symbols and look certainly more like fashionable or aesthetic choices. The chair in which he sits is green with grapes upon it, again symbolising abundance and fruitfulness.
    As I previously stated, this card appears rarely for me and my relationship with this card is an unknown. Since it is Minor Arcana it is related to an energy that is prevalent at the particular time. It does reflect some of the changes that have been going on in my life.
   Last night I had a dream in which I was travelling to an unknown destination, it was getting late in the day so I decided to pull my car over to the side (a red muscle car with white stripe which I knew as a Mustang) and try and find somewhere to stay. I entertained the idea of continuing on through the night, but my final destination seemed foggy in my mind and I decided that stopping would be best. There was a general feeling of disorientation and lack of stability, given I wasn't quite sure where I was going or where I would be staying.  I ended up entering a temple which consisted of several floors and seemed to be themed in a Celtic fashion with Triskells on the walls. Within were several welcoming priestesses who asked me about my journey as to ascertain my purpose and my connection. I started to recount my journey and its ups and downs and the various animals that had aided me thus far. I mentioned a Kingfisher, an Otter and a Crane and said I had footage of them coming to my aid. At this, they offered me a place to stay for the night and the dream ended.
    Looking at the symbolism of these particular animals I am struck by the fact that they all are linked to two elements. The Kingfisher and Crane to air and water and the Otter to water and earth. All of the animals felt like they had a numinous quality to me (one that carries beyond the dream) and I am heartened by their appearance. They are also all animals that are linked to the Celtic pantheon and their environs and they are not collage-like scraps from my day (unlike the Mustang...which I feel is sheer wish fulfillment).
   What this dream relates to me is that with adopting a level of certitude in my choice of career, it brings up several different elements. It seems like my endless wandering without a final destination is at least taking a break in order to create a bond to the earth and for me to set down some roots. My connection has always strongly been to movement and flight as evidenced by the bird symbolism, but all these animals make their homes in or close to the earth and the river bank in particular.
   Creating a level of fixedness and stability does bring up some fears in me that I will not be able to travel so freely as I have, but I feel these fears may in fact prove to be completely unfounded. The card is about a healthy flow of income, one that even allows for and suggests extravagance as shown by the boats and castles  on the walls. With a level of security, taking flight may be even easier as I don't have to carry all my belongings with me on each trip. My journey has had its ups and downs and I know I would not have made it without inner assistance.
   Finding a castle and a temple for me is paramount for me, even if it is only a nest to launch myself from and to take rest in. This card talks to me of the feeling of homecoming and material security I have been seeking to build for myself for the greatest time. Allowing myself to recognise and enjoy those creature comforts, knowing that I am motivated and strong enough for them not to become traps for me.

Queen of Pentacles. Love and materialism.

   The Queen of Wands is a card that I don't have a great deal of connection with.  Hopefully talking about her might yield some understanding.
    This earthy lady is a mix of watery emotion and grounded pragmatism. Her card is a quiet idyll in the sense of a storybook cottage complete with cute bouncing bunny and bordered in roses. To me it looks like a page from an illustrated children's book.
   Our Queen sits on a throne cradling a pentacle as if it were her baby. Now looking at all the Pentacle court cards, you can't help but notice that each of the figures is deeply absorbed with their own pentacle to the exclusion of anything else going on. Here the flora around her is starting to grow a little wild...a precursor to the overgrown garden that exists on the King's card. This absorption with the material realm is a common thread and I wonder quite what this means for the court cards of the Pentacles suit.
   I understand this to mean that these characters find it difficult to tear their attention away from their own material pursuits. They spend their time working on their careers, thinking about their belongings or homes and looking after their earthly concerns. But one thing to notice is that they really love their pentacles. It is not a damning indictment on materialism (for that see the four of pentacles), but speaks of the actual beauty of materialism.
    The Queen has a deep pink robe on over a white blouse, which is indicative of her innocence and deep love for the world. She wears a green cloak which stretches from her head to her feet and shows her abiding love and compassion. This really is one sweet lady who really cares.
   Her throne is adorned with fruit (apples, oranges and pears) symbolising the fruitful nature of the energy inherent in the card, you can also see several cherubs along with the head of a goat (Capricorn). The rabbit is a symbol of fecundity and abundance and links to both her outward timidity and her sexual nature.
   There is little to connect her to fire or air and as a result this can lead to a somewhat limited awareness of situations outside her own material sphere. At worst this can manifest itself as stodginess and she may lack a spark or inner brightness. More vibrant expansive signs or characters may find her a little sedate for their tastes, but this suits her just fine. She really is happy within her world. The lack of fire does not mean a lack of passion or spirituality, it simply means she connects to it through her earthy nature and strongly emotional character.
    What this card brings up for me is the question of materialism. The western culture has a heavy bias towards materialism, but has severed its ties to the earth. It has not reached the stage of the Queen of Pentacles, but is still languishing at the Knight. When people talk of materialism, there is often scorn in their voices and this is because of what it has come to mean to our common awareness.There is a deep wisdom in the Earth, this has been forgotten and has been replaced with a culture of convenience. Materialism for most people means losing touch with their inner nature, of being absorbed in their shallow lives and never looking beyond the next distraction. Of living for the paycheck or for the weekend.
   The deep wisdom is embodied by that love of the Earth, of loving our lives here and now. It is okay to love our possessions and our homes, our careers and our bodies. It is that love that we have forgotten. there is no love for our possessions, everything is disposable and we have been told to not connect with our materiality...that it is somehow bad and unspiritual.
    What is unspiritual is not loving our lives and all that is in them. When we love our possessions we treat them with honour, we live in an almost zen like state. Materialism is one of the ways we can express love in our lives and of course it stands to reason that it should not be the only way. Enjoying a new teapot is not equivalent to idolatry unless we recognise no other item or being as worthy of our love...and anyone who just loves their teapot is quite clearly not all there.