VI - The Lovers. Integration of Opposites

    

     The sixth card of the Major Arcana is The Lovers card. This card is traditionally one of the most commonly known, along with the Death card and the Hanged man and is just as often erroneously simplified to the point of losing it's meaning. It is a card you will often see depicted in movies as being the quintessential card for romance and unions. The card actually has far greater depth than it seems at first glance, pointing to deep esoteric meanings...of course it can also mean romance! It's all in how you read it.

    The card itself depicts a woman and a man in the biblical garden of Eden, behind them the two trees of Life and Knowledge of Good and Evil. Upon the Tree of knowledge of Good and Evil sits a serpent. Above them, emerging from a cloud is an Angel who seems to be offering a benediction upon the two. Already we can see the card is heavy with allegory and religious symbolism. You may also notice a triangular aspect to the card, both with the three figures and the mountain behind them. This triangle is ascending upwards and so has a heavenly symbolic quality, suggesting something more than just a simple romantic coupling. The couple in the card are wearing no clothes, and while this can be seen as a direct interpretation of a biblical passage, I believe it relates to the lack of pretense between the two. That both elements come forward unadorned and free of ego.

     What the card is talking to is the integration of opposites, of male and female and of heaven and earth. The couples approach, heaven descends and the earth rises and all is well. Integration is strongly mentioned in the other cards such as Temperance and the Devil (which has many interesting parallels to this card if you lay them side by side!). Whereas the Devil suggests being bound by a union, the Lovers is about being set free by a union. That the Union of opposites in this case creates something far greater than just the sum of it's parts.

   When this card appears in a reading is concerned with bringing two opposites together. Those opposites don't always have to be male and female, it could relate to business mergers, to colours in a painting or sweet and sour in a dish. What is important is that this union is expansive and liberating, two parts that work better in conjunction. The angel is appearing because of the union of the two partners, symbolizing the higher aspect of the pairing. Unlike the Devil card, which is oppressive in it's nature and both elements are subjugated, bound and lessened by their union, this card holds powerful lessons in true synthesis as an act of expansive creativity. 

   The card is the sixth of the Major Arcana and the number six is a harmonious number, especially when it relates to the Kabbalah and the Tarot. Each of the elements has passed the halfway point and is well on it's path to completion. 

   For me in my life right now it symbolizes the need to further connect my spiritual life with my material life, that the two can come together to create something better each one lived alone. Many live their lives in only one sphere, hoping that when one is fixed they can then work on the other. It always leaves one feeling unfulfilled and lacking something. It also relates to relationships, of course, that when two beings come together it should be for something greater than what they can achieve individually. That such a union can create a powerful energy and magic, that can be used for creative and enlightening endeavors.

    The real meaning behind this card of course is Love, for Love is that powerful and energetic magic that appears between the two. That draws the Lover and the Beloved together, that springs not from either, but from their being together. As Jung said "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemicals substances; if there is any reaction are transformed". It's positive aspect being The Lovers and it's shadow aspect being The Devil. 

   

New Paradigm

 So, it's been a while...
    But I have been busy!
   I successfully graduated massage school late last year and have signed a contract for a new space in town. So, I'll be practicing in a professional setting and building a business for myself.
   You can check it out by going to my services page or going to this address:
   www.NewParadigmTherapy.com

   I hope to get back to writing my blog more fully soon!

Ace of Cups. Primal emotions.

   The Ace of Cups is, like all the aces the beginning of something new. The minor Arcana themselves typically denote an energy present in a situation. In the case of the aces, this energy is primal, new and very strong. I tend to see them as standing above the rest of the minor arcana, although not quite on the same par as the Major Arcana. 

  Cups is the suit of water (as if the large W emblazoned upon the side of the chalice didn't give it away). As such they symbolise the emotions in their watery aspect. 

    My expectation when I drew this card was that it would pertain to love as this is the attribution that is given in almost all the Tarot books I have looked over. Of course Love is the grandest of the emotions and naturally one would expect this card to be all about that. But expectations can often prove to be false as I discovered that love was not the subject of the card when I drew it.

   In the card we have five streams of water pouring from the cup and returning to the ocean below. The Chalice itself is made of pure gold and has three small bells hanging from it's neck, which one assumes would tinkle when the cup is pouring. Falling either side of the cup are watery yods (symbols of energy), twenty five in total. 

     The chalice itself is a powerful symbol, it's connections to legends, it's feminine nature and form and that it is a vessel for whatever we choose it to be. Many say the blade or the sharpened stone is the first tool invented, but I may argue that the vessel likely holds that accolade. A cupped hand or leaf was able to bring life giving water to a thirsty mouth well before we grasped a rock to smash something with. Taoism has a great reverence for the chalice and we have all heard the maxims about having to empty one's cup before it can be refilled. Chalices are present throughout the entire Tarot deck and appear not just within the minor arcana, but play prominent roles in some of the major arcana. 

        The idea of emptying my cup was what the card meant for me. In the last post I talked on finally being able to let go of a great deal of anger and frustration that I had found no place to release it to. I hadn't understood that I was holding onto this and a great many other things. 

       My life has been a search for how to return to a place of happiness that occurred many years ago. It was snatched away in the cruelest fashion and although I certainly did not want the same situation I have been looking for those same emotions that really now belong in the past. In understanding that those times have gone and with them the feelings that they encompassed. It is time to find new vistas, new emotions and new experiences. 

      I was finally able to articulate my rage at the universe for its cruelty and with it came a level of peace. In the card we see a dove, the eternal messenger of peace bringing a holy wafer with a cross upon it. To me it symbolises redemption and peace. Only by releasing suffering and emptying our cups back into the eternal ocean of the universe can it ever be refilled. 

    Beneath the godly hand offering the cup we can see an eternal ocean stretching into the distance. Upon the ocean float lily pads and their flowers. Lilies are flowers that grow from the decay and muck under the surface to create a truly beautiful flower above the waterline. They are a symbol to show that from death and decay, beauty can flower. 

    The Ace can symbolise that a new emotional beginning is in the offing, that by pouring out the dregs of our old emotional selves we can be refreshed and renewed. Our cups refilled once more and peace renewed.

   After a night purging myself of those old emotions I found the new day brought forth a whole selection of different and new options for me. My day filled up with appointments and people offered to pay early for my workshop, along with a host of other offers. It just shows that these things really do work!

   

Dealing with Psychic Vampires Part 2

 In the last posting I discussed my first experience with a psychic vampire. You can find it here.

   After that encounter I didn't run into anything similar for a long while. Recently however I have run into another situation and I was unprepared for it the first time I encountered her. Before I get into the situation I would like to discuss psychic self defense a little as this played a continuing role. 

   Psychic Defense is creating a shield of energy around yourself to ward off unwanted intrusions or attacks on a psychic level. By imagining yourself shielded in a bubble of light or other configuration, it provides an element of protection. This is a very simplistic description and I will write in greater detail shortly on this subject. It may sound like a fantastical concept, but it does help significantly in repelling unwanted energies.

    The shielding I had been using had been relatively unsophisticated. I found that simply pouring out a level of healing was enough to discourage people who don't want to grow and attract and help those that do. This didn't cause harm to anyone and provided help to those in need. Unfortunately I hadn't considered how this might attract vampiric types who look to feed on subtler levels of energy.
   Like the previous vampire I discovered that this one whom I will call L also took to hooking in at the heart level. I got to see her doing it both to myself and to a close colleague, by closing in then simply going for a reassuring back rub. When it happened I immediately felt it happen, but was too preoccupied in a separate conversation to do anything about it. Once I had extricated myself from the situation and gone home I took the time to clear my field and take a look at what she had put in. It was as though she had hooked into my heart centre and the "hook" would supply her with a small amount of my energy every time I opened my heart. I was able to clear it out with incense and meditation (although I found using a chunk of Pyrite removed it almost instantaneously). She had also placed similar hooks in some of my personal items, which also had to be cleared out.
   This instance taught me that my shielding was particularly useless against this type of intrusion. Like most shields, some experimentation is best to figure out how one can adapt it to different circumstances. I fully did not expect to encounter L again, but I did think it was due time to change my protection up.
   During a workshop I was doing later in the week we ended up doing a meditation for shielding and I found that my ideas on how to modify it came together. I had toyed with the idea of having a thorny shell on the exterior, but I decided that this would not be good for people I wanted to be close to. In the end during the meditation, my shield altered to still incorporate the previous healing sphere along with thorns that would emerge if my energy system was under threat.
   It turned out that I did run into L a few weeks later under different circumstances and I felt my defenses go up. She refused to make eye contact or engage with me, even though I was prepared to have some stern words if she got into my space again. While I wasn't affected in this instance, another person had been and I ended up removing similar hooks from her and several items.
   What was surprising to me was that many people were unable or unwilling to see this side of L. Another clairvoyant friend of mine confirmed what I had perceived and later that even I got some serious confirmation from L herself (even if she didn't fully recognise it herself). It was as though people either did not expect such a thing to happen or exist and they let it fly under their radar, or that they did not want to seem judgmental.
   The confirmation came later in the evening as a group of us sat together to discuss some of the more unusual events in our life. We moved onto the topic of other worldly beings, or supernatural encounters and L stepped forward. She claimed that one evening she had stepped out of her house to be confronted by a bright humanoid light (somewhat like an angel as she described it) that shot an electrical bolt into her heart where it burned a mark onto her skin. She explained it as feeling like she was being tazered. After this event her eyes turned the colour of blood for a week and she has not slept since. Several people commenting on how it must have been a "healing" event...which I guess in the very broadest sense it was. Although I think if I was blasted by a bolt of light from an angelic being which burned a mark onto my skin, I would be seriously considering my life up until that point.
    Still, I guess I am still far from the point of suggesting to her that she might be a vampire and so I can't really point any fingers. What I can do though is continue to shield myself and watch out for those close to me to make sure they aren't being drained by this or any other psychic energy sucker!
    As for further speculation on what to do when confronted with this type of person I do have several suggestions. If possible shield yourself by calming yourself and imagining a white ball of light around yourself and loved ones. Stay away from such individuals and try not to let them touch you or get into your personal space. They may also attempt to draw you in with their stories or illnesses and remaining neutral is your best bet. At a pinch, folding your arms over your heart and solar plexus will provide a natural barrier to the areas they tend to hook in ( although this doesn't protect your back). Eventually they will cease to bother you if there is no way for them to feed on you.
    From my small experience they seem to be drawn to more passive giving sorts, usually those with large hearts who are unlikely to confront them. If possible they will seek out more refined energies rather than baser energies. Their energy fields are usually so compromised that they need to draw energy constantly to maintain their own well-being and are often unhealthy themselves unless they can draw large quantities.
  Looking at the mythology of vampirism there seems to be several interesting parallels, some of which I discussed in the last segment. Garlic is useful for cleaning the blood, which I doubt would have any real effect on a psychic vampire. Running water also has proven to be a useful barrier on a few occasions against incorporeal beings (not sure why)..but that is another story...and not much help in this case (they would just find a bridge). Obviously plunging a stake into a person's heart is to be avoided, there are lots of legal ramifications and it would be a terrible way to find it doesn't work.
    In the case of night attacks, it is possible to shrug these attacks off (having done it myself once (another story)) but it requires some level of mastery of your energy body (your physical one is usually paralysed). If you feel you might come under this kind of attack, use the shielding exercises I outlined above. Or if you find yourself victim to one and have the presence of mind, you can call upon Jesus, God, angels or any other goodly being whom you feel an affinity to (the spirit of science or mathematics will not work...trust me).

   

  

Dealing with Psychic Vampires Part 1

  Vampires are a common mainstay of myth and fantasy and they are also occupy centre stage in many of today's  entertainment mediums.
   They have gone through a bizarre process of being regarded somewhat as misunderstood anti-heroes in the mainstream media. Twilight is a good example. Meeting a walking corpse with a penchant for murder, blood drinking and hanging around minors many decades his junior would actually be repulsive to most decent human beings (regardless of his glittering). They have gone from being undead terrors of the night to sultry seducers. The same holds true for werewolves..but I don't want to get into that right now.
   Regardless of this cultural switch-around one still assumes that they are creatures of myth and fantasy. While I have certainly never encountered a real life blood sucker, and have no ambitions to change that should they exist. There is a kind of vampire that does exist... Psychic Vampires.
    Most of us at some point have encountered someone who drains your energy by their mere presence. These individuals tap into your life energy to fuel themselves because of their inability to do so themselves. They are often terrible martyrs and play the victim role to draw as much from you as possible. Often they attach to your energy field with cords or simply by getting into your personal space to draw it off. Most of these types do so unconsciously and to some degree we are all guilty of doing this at certain points. Cutting the cords to these types is relatively simple and requires no great skill. Simply avoiding them or stopping them hooking in, in the first place is recommended and I will soon post some simple exercises to help with this.
   There are however vampires that have been around for a while and this ability is a conscious choice to a lesser or greater degree. These intentional vampires are the ones to really watch out for. They are extremely rare and I have only ever encountered a handful of them, but they do exist. At this point the lines between fantasy and reality tend to blur somewhat. They are often skilled psychics and capable of manifesting some unusual phenomenon in their quest to draw life force. Most of the time they exist on the periphery of human society and the majority of mankind will never meet them, nor even if they encounter them have any idea that they did.
    My first experience with a psychic vampire of any power was many years ago. At the time I was working at a hostel and so I often ended up encountering an often unseen side of life. Working at the hostel I would meet up to 40 or 50 new people every day and of course sometimes those people would be oddballs. For the most part it was simply meeting and greeting backpackers and it was exciting and stimulating work. Everyone would have a story and many times it would be inspiring, about how they had left it all behind to travel the world or some such adventure. The vampire, although I had no idea she was such at first glance was also a traveller. I shall call her X to avoid using any real names. She arrived with a group of other women and was very social, she was bright, positive and a skilled clairvoyant. She was a little older than the regular backpacking crowd but not enough to mark her out as odd in that respect and the group she was travelling with was of a similar age.
    We got along very well initially as I had an interest in the unusual and her experiences as a psychic intrigued me. We talked about various experiences both of us has encountered and she talked about the manifestion of her psychic abilities slightly later in her life. They had come on strong and she was fully capable of seeing into different realms with some skill and encountering all manner of unusual beings. It was all very new to me and fascinating to imagine that those elements were part of our reality even if they existed beyond my current ability to perceive. She offered to help me open up my clairvoyant abilities in exchange for healing work and I gladly accepted. We spent a lot of time talking and being in each others company and I never felt drained around her, although she did ask for regular healing energy. The first clue came during one of my initial treatments with her although I was too inexperienced to correctly interpret it. I noticed as soon as the healing began that it seemed as though she was already full of energy, as though she was energised almost immediately. It felt as though the rest of the treatment was somewhat redundant and towards the middle of the treatment I perceived a vision of what appeared to be blood spiralling into her energy field. Like water going down a drain. My clairvoyant skills were still in their infancy and presumed that it was probably a menstrual issue and didn't wish to bring it up.
    She was planning to leave with her friends soon to see some more sights when one of her friends came to speak to me. She was in tears and an emotional wreck. She said that X had accused her draining her and that she no longer wished to travel with her. After I calmed her somewhat, she asked me if she was a drain on people. She was obviously distraught and X's behaviour struck me as unusual as she was usually very tactful and considerate of others feelings. I told her that I hadn't experienced that in her presence but it might be wise to take some time away from her to recharge her own batteries. Looking back I can see that this lady may have engaged in some unconscious draining of X and it seems that a psychic vampire would be extremely sensitive to any energy loss in her system.
     At this point X left for a while to continue her travels and I saw nothing more of her for another 6 months. She decided that she wished to some back and visit the area again. I was happy to hear that she was returning and that she would get to meet my girlfriend at the time. She stayed with us this time and I immediately noticed some tension between her and my girlfriend, so I was happy when she moved out to stay in the hostel. At this point I really started to notice some odd behaviour from her. She ended up sleeping with a guy who worked at the hostel who was 20 years her junior and the match seemed really unusual. She also started hanging around a female traveller who eventually complained that she felt awful around her and that she didn't want to even be close to her. I also witnessed several times her getting into people's personal space and placing her hands on their backs over their hearts. She also tried this with me and it made me feel extremely uncomfortable, enough to want to avoid her. I also started to hear similar stories from people around us that she was making a lot of people uncomfortable. I decided that I no longer really wanted to spend any time with her and it was pretty easy given that I spent a lot of it with my girlfriend anyways. This is when things got really weird...
      It happened late one night. I was awakened from a dream by intense shooting pains in my left arm, as though energy was shooting from my shoulder to my wrist. In the dream I had been leading a cavalry charge of angels on horseback through the heavens and I had been carrying a blazing sword in my left hand ( I am right handed usually). As I awoke groggily from sleep I saw what appeared to be a laughing visage floating in the air close to my bed with X's features. I was immediately shocked to hear my girlfriend chocking in the bed  nearby (we had bunks at the time in the hostel).
    She was in the midst of an intense dream and looked as though she was pinned to the bed. She woke as though in a deep sleep and when I threw the covers back she had scratches all down her legs. It is not beyond the realm of possibility she did this beforehand, but she would have had to have drawn her legs up to her chest or sat up to inflict the scratches I saw. The scratches faded quickly and soon there was only unblemished skin. She said that she was being choked by some sort of being that was sat over her chest and that she hadn't been able to breathe and had been trying to call out to me, but had been paralysed. I flicked the light on, things always seem better when the light is on!  Looking at our clock it was 2am. We then heard a  noise that sounded as though rats were running across the floor of our room, which was very creepy...even with the light on. Much later on when this was all done, while I was watching the Exorcist I heard a similar sound in the scene in which the mother is exploring the attic and she hears a noise.
    I prayed for guidance on what to do and received the information that we should just stay in the room and wait for an hour with the light on. That after 3am if would be safe to go back to sleep. I was happy to do this and felt time spent in the light was a good thing. Unfortunately my girlfriend needed the bathroom, which was at the end of the hall and couldn't wait the time till 3. She wanted me to come with her and stand outside the bathroom stall. I had no choice really so I agreed, even though it is the thing you shouldn't do in a horror film situation.
    We got to the bathroom without incident, then my girlfriend said she needed a pair of scissors (to this day I don't remember why). I knew that didn't have one in our room and the closest set was at the reception area in the front of the hostel. She was scared and I wanted this to be over as quickly as possible so I ventured down the stairs to the reception area. It was shortly after 2am and all the lights in the building were off on the lower floor. The switch for the lights was by the front door far from reach and so of course, not within easy reach. Sat on the couch in the darkness were two figures. It was hard to make out their features although they looked native, dark skinned and heavy set. They were not speaking or making any sound and I could not tell whether they were male or female. I had the presence of mind not to freeze..it was where I worked for starters and felt I was on home ground. I got the scissors from the rack behind the desk and felt that I couldn't just leave them sat there. We often had drunks try to camp out in the hostel and because I worked there I felt a level of responsibility. I intuitively felt I should challenge them, but no more than that. So I asked them if they were staying here. One of the figures called out "Here you go darling" and waved a key in the darkness. It was impossible to tell if the voice was male or female and I got out of there and upstairs quickly.
    After that things were good, although we did stay up till 3am before sleeping. The next morning I checked the registry and could not find anyone staying that matched their description. I had checked in most of the people myself and none of the other guests had names that were native. Nobody on the staff could recall seeing such individuals and so their presence remains a mystery. The key box had been locked in the safe.
    X left shortly after that and I lost contact with her. My guidance informed me that she was a vampire and a friend with more experienced also agreed on it. Looking back over the situation I could see several trends that were interesting. First off she was highly psychic, but unable to recharge herself energetically except through either "feeding" off others or at first being "healed" by an energetic healer. During a healing she was able to siphon off a great deal of energy very quickly showing her system was highly developed for moving large amounts of energy quickly. I didn't feel drained because when healing I tap into a greater, unlimited source which would mean I was simply a channel for that energy. She was able to astrally travel to feed and this took the guise of sleep paralysis for the victim who perceived this as similar to an encounter with a succubus/incubus or night hag. Mythologically vampires were able to call upon rats, bats and minions to serve them. The crawling scratching phenomenon sounded similar to a horde of rats although I didn't witness any visual phenomenon and it could be challenged as being that old chestnut of the building settling etc. The figures in the lobby reminded me of certain beings described in Carlos Castenada's series of books who needed to be challenged and would fit in with being minions.
    It could be accounted for by unusual dreams, house settling noises, sleep paralysis, hallucinations and bad paperwork if one was inclined to explain away the phenomenon, but this seems just as unusual a set of occurrences to occur in one evening. Given that I have encountered these phenomenon on a number of occasions suggests a deeper level of reality showing itself. I will explore the process further in my next post, where I hope to describe more recent situations and how to protect oneself properly.

If one is interested in deeper study of modern vampirism then you should take a look at this book:



Carlos Casteneda's series of books in also a great way to get a feel for altered states of awareness:


 
 

II - The High Priestess.

 The High Priestess is a powerful feminine force, she stands at the forefront of the Major Arcana and also as a high point on the Tree of Life within the Kabbalah esoteric school of thought.
    I feel she is the mystical consort of the Magician, although her aspect can be reflected in the Hierophant (Exoteric rather than esoteric knowledge) and the Hermit (a male correspondence to inner knowledge).
   Like all the Major Arcana it is rich in symbolism and allegory. She sits between the twin pillars of Boaz and Joachim, which where foundational supports for the temple of Solomon. Which can also be understood to represent the twin paths of mercy and severity, again upon the tree of life.
    She sits dressed in pale blue, the colour of communication, representing a connection to the throat chakra and the ability to hear the inner voice and its wisdom. Upon her head she wears a triple moon headdress, symbolising the three moon phases and linking her to many triple form goddess deities (Hathor and The Morrigan being prime examples). At her feet lies a crescent moon, similar to the depictions of Mary, but in reality speaking of more ancient traditions.
     In her hands can be seen a scroll with the inscription "Tora" upon it. This is somewhat similar to the letters on the Wheel of Fortune card and links us to the Tarot, Rota and Torah. The scroll represents the knowledge that lies in her hands and is partial concealed from casual observance.
    Even more striking and not readily apparent from a cursory examination is the that veil behind her actually hides an entire landscape complete with a sea and landmass. This veil is decorated with pomegranates an ancient and multifaceted symbol which relates to the underworld, or land of the dead. Therefore one would not go far wrong to assume that this veil hides the great undiscovered country that lies behind the veil of death, of which she is a guardian. The story of Persephone and her journey into the underworld, only to become trapped there by Hades for consuming a few pomegranate seeds is the connection we can see here.
    The High Priestess is the Guardian at the Gate for esoteric inner knowledge, for passage to the land of the dead and to the energies of the feminine, yin energies of Water and Earth.
    On a more superficial level she represents the stillness before action to contemplate and get in touch with your inner feminine knowing (whether you are woman or man). She is the oracle, the priestess and the seer. The wise woman and gentle feminine knowing. Her power is not as overt as the Magician, yet you ignore her advice at your own peril.
     I drew this card in the midst of my own individual process. In the last weekend I attended a Shamanic Workshop for advanced healing practices and during the many journeys I embarked upon a common theme emerged. It was of facing my own death through being devoured by an aquatic creature (a shark to be specific). Journey after journey took me to face this, even when we took a break for the night I had a dream of being on a sinking truck under which a shark swam waiting for me to be unable to escape. Finally on the last day I let myself be eaten. This didn't bring any immediate epiphany, it seldom works that quickly. But, I did feel as though a new boundary had been crossed.
     Later in the week it came home to me. I have only included a few of the many symbols and synchronicities that occurred through the workshop and the time preceding and following the journeys. There have been several themes involved, the main ones being death and female energy. In a book I have been reading called the Magus of Java the author discusses the energies of yin and yang as being oppositional forces that truly tangibly exist, rather than only being the philosophical mental constructs that people consider them to be. He posits that yin energy is the energy of the Earth and of Spirits and that Yang energy is solar energy that exists in all living beings. Yang is hot and is the energy I feel I primarily work with in healing sessions, the masculine energy of life and light.  The energies are not complementary as many would believe and they have an antagonistic relationship to each other. Yin energy is cold and is what one sense when spirits are present. The greater the quantity of yin present (either in the individual or in the being), the greater the ability to perceive these beings.
    My journeys and dreams spoke of the fear of yin energy, of the male Yang energy being consumed by opposing energy. It is the Jungian archetypal fear of the all consuming terrible mother, the castration fear in its purest form. Most men on the road to self awareness are willing and able to be in touch with their female energies, but how many are unafraid of being completely overcome with this energy? I don't doubt that it exists in women too to an equal degree for its masculine counterpart. The fear of death, of annihilation in the void of the female is a primal fear (at least for men).
     I had gone into the store where I work and sat talking with the ladies that run the store and told them of what I was going through and discussed the nature of being absorbed into the pure consciousness of the opposite energy (yin in my case). As we spoke I could feel the fear rise, the fear of losing my masculinity by getting too close to the female energy. Betty suggested a visualisation in which I imagined my body being transformed to that of the female form as a grid moved from my feet up to my head. After it was complete I could feel cold energy running up my spine and my hands begun to shake. The process lasted a good few hours and at one point my teeth were even chattering. A few days later there is still movements of the energy and I do not yet feel it is entirely complete, but I understand that the yin energy is necessary for completeness.
    The Yin or female energy is what allows us to part the curtain to the land of the dead and of spirits, it is the energy of the High Priestess, she is the psychopomp who takes us into that undiscovered country.

2012 and the new awakening

  My monitor died this morning. It didn't happen with a bang, just an almost inaudible buzzing before the screen went black. It is the latest in a series of electronics that have given up on me in the last year. It seems like the universe is trying to give me a message and up until now I don't think I have been listening. The message isn't that technology is doomed and that we are going back to a medieval subsistence farming paradigm (at least I hope not!), it is more personal than that. I think mostly the universe speaks to us in a personal way, about our lives and what we can do to make things better.
   2012 is already upon us and many of us are looking to see something extra-ordinary happen. Whether it is the collapse of the financial institutions to aliens descending from the skies, I think we are all looking for a change in our lives. 2011 was a pretty crappy year for me and I have high hopes for this year. But it is entirely plausible that when 2013 arrives (as it inevitably will) we will look back and wonder what if anything happened. I for one would like to be someone who can say something profound did happen. If I continue to look outside myself for something to happen in order to change my life then I may well be waiting till 2013 and beyond.  Sure, something may happen on an external level and I do think it is time for a change...but I cannot sit and wait for that to occur.
     A fellow blog writer (http://www.jaimemintun.com/) recently wrote that the changes in 2012 are up to us, that we cannot sit and wait for all our wishes to be delivered to us on a plate. I am starting to see the sense in that idea. If nothing does change globally then at least it will have changed personally and I can look back at 2012 and say in all honesty that 2012 brought a great awakening.
      Luckily my monitor has a three year warranty and the nice gentleman at LG said they would even take care of delivery. It is also possible since my current monitor is discontinued that they will supply me with an improved model. None-the-less my days plan has collapsed. As my mind tried to scrabble for what I could do instead, I saw a spark of insight dancing in my being. The day suddenly seemed filled with new possibility, instead of blasting undead with lightning deep underground in the mythical land of Skyrim I could do a myriad of other things. Sure, I would have to stop work on my latest piece of art and also put off completing a teaching manual I was working on, but this ray of light seemed fleeting and would soon disappear if I let it slip from my grasp.
    Another friend of mine writes a blog on truck driving interspersed with philosophical musings (http://isterlings.blogspot.com/) and he recently asked me to give him my opinion on an article related to healing and the dynamics of healing. The article was very long and complex, but one piece stuck in my mind. It was a section on the base chakra (check out the tab at the top for more info on chakras). The interesting part of this article for me was that it related difficulties in the lower chakra to unconsciousness. That once we liberated this unconsciousness, it could be transformed into apathy (the energy of the chakra above) and so on until it was fully released.
     The cord that this struck was that I tend to get pulled back into unconsciousness, or at least semi-conscious states quite regularly. There are a number of different behaviours and habits I have adopted that bring me back out of higher states and lower my vibration. So in the interest of growth I took that spark of inspiration I felt and created a list of all the behaviours that take drag me into states of either unconsciousness or semi-consciousness. Doing this I realised that I needed to do something about this before I was overcome by another one of these habits. So I composed a list of 7 behaviours and 7 replacement habits I could cultivate in their stead. What I intend to do is to have my own 2012 awakening and do my part for global enlightenment by sticking to this throught 2012. It's kind of a challenge, but I think that is the point!

  Anyway here are the lists:
 Behaviours that create unconscious or semi-conscious states:
 1. Listening to my ipod (this is actually one of the piece of electronics that malfunctioned and no longer allows me to update my song list. I am literally stuck in the past when I listen to it..or at least my song choices from 2008).
  2. Playing Video games. This one is pretty difficult for me as I tend to play them to chill out and really enjoy them, plus I don't wish to martyr my enjoyment on the altar of growth. In order to do this I will not play games I have already finished, have not been waiting for or are for the purpose of killing time (and consciousness).
  3. Watching TV shows online. I don't have a problem with a weekly show, but I have fallen into the habit of watching them to pass the time or to distract me while I work on something else. So, like video games, no repeat show watching or for time or consciousness killing.
  4. Browsing Online. This is anything from forums, articles, flash games to craigslist or other supposed "constructive" uses. Facebook would be here if I liked or spent time here!
   5. Eating badly. For me this is sugary or chocolaty snacks mainly. Although some foods make me sleepy which is the same things as lowering my vibration.
   6. Working in jobs that limit my enjoyment. Not that I have such a job now, but I have a tendency to spend huge swathes of time making money at the expense of joy or growth. Realising that these jobs are not beneficial to my consciousness and it's growth should be enough. Such jobs are one in which I am counting down the hours till I finish or make me feel bad about myself and my life.
   7. Oversleeping or dozing. I tend to sleep long and late and will occasionally use dozing or napping as a way to pass time. This is spending time in unconsciousness in its purest form and if I can cut it back to the simple amount my body needs for rest then I will not be wasting opportunities.

Rather than just going cold turkey on them all I have also created a list of things I can do to replace the time that becomes available.

  1. Stretching or exercising. I often feel I have little time to do this, but it is simply not true. What happens is I get stuck in an unconscious or semi-conscious pattern.
  2. Un-distracted artwork (or creative endeavor). I like artwork, but the truth of it is I sometimes find it difficult to do so without a form of distraction (which inevitably gets turned off once I really start). Often finding a suitable distraction will take up more time and energy than the actual creation of the artwork!
  3. Meditation. This is simple enough and always beneficial.
  4. Conversation on enlivening topics. I wanted something on the list that wasn't solitary and would help me avoid listening or partaking in gossip or discussion of people's problems.
   5. Body or Energy work. This includes for myself and others.
   6. Productive or constructive work. From writing blogs, to creating value for my products or services that will eventually benefit others. This may include jobs that are growth inducing or learning new skills (languages, instruments, techniques).
   7. New or enjoyable experiences. Whether this is starting a class, going somewhere interesting or new or trying something different. Providing it is dropped if it is not enjoyable or productive.

  Hopefully I can maintain this, but putting it out there means I have to take it a lot more seriously than if I just wrote it in my journal!
  I believe increasing my own consciousness is a good way accelerate the process of global enlightenment and feel good about myself at the same time.

XIV - Temperance. The Higher self or guardian angel.

  Temperance is an unusual card. It is difficult to understand it's meaning with just a simple glance and the name temperance doesn't really do justice for a Major Arcana.
    Temperance is derived from tempering which is a term used when metals such as steel are made tougher by alternatively heating them in a forge and then cooling them by quenching them in water. It also means moderation on a lesser scale, although that is a more superficial approach to this card and does not touch upon the greater truths existent within this key.
    The superficial attribution of this card is to apply moderation in ones life, to cut back on extremes and curb passions or desires that would be harmful in greater quantities. Temperance is itself a virtue in which one seeks to moderate excesses in thought, feeling or emotional outbursts.
   To understand the more esoteric side of this card we have to delve into the symbolism involved. The first aspect that is obvious is the angel stood in the centre of the card. This angelic being represents our own guardian angel. The job of the guardian angel is to watch over us and to keep us safe from harm, they are the spiritual protectors of our soul. This angel is also synonymous with the higher self or the super consciousness we all possess.
        In the unregenerate or vegetative person this aspect is more a function of the unconscious and they will be unaware of the influence this force plays in their life. This force or element has a very refined consciousness and is available to all and any who would also bring their own consciousness up to a similar level. It will still act on a vegetative person, but they will perceive it as an urging towards moderation by instinctual forces. The average person will recognise it as the voice of conscience which alerts us when we stray into danger or fall into excess. A refined consciousness will recognise it as an intelligence which can offer guidance, advice and solace. It is quite capable of communication, provided we have not shunned our conscience overmuch and are willing and open to our inner landscape.
    Once we are open to our conscience as a guide then the angel begins its real task, that of tempering the soul. The angle guides us into life situations that temper us to bring out the greater, stronger qualities we possess. Just as the sword blade must be alternatively be plunged into heat and water to bring forth its inherent strength so must we. The angel is in charge of making sure that these challenges are not sufficiently dangerous or difficult so that we become shattered and providing aid for us when things are hard.
    In the card we see that the angle has a upward pointing triangle upon his chest, this symbolises the element of fire. His flame red wings also speak of both fire and air, the elements which are often attributed to masculinity and the heavenly realms. His feet stand on both earth and water, the two female elements which are also connected to the earthly realms. He is in the process of mixing a liquid substance between two chalices, as if carefully measuring an elixir.
     This card, like The Lovers card is about syzygy (conjunction of opposites). This card however is talking about that work as concerns one individual. That being's ascent into selfhood, as evidenced by the path by the angel's side. It is talking of an alchemical process with that being, or carefully mixing all the elements together to create a perfect elixir for enlightenment. The Lover's card is primarily concerned with masculine and feminine forces and often relates to an external individual or situation.
     The pathway to the angel's side leads to a mountain and beyond to a radiant sun with a blazing crown within. This crown and sun talks of the mystical centre, the point at which conversation with the higher self is possible only after the conjunction of oppositional elements. It relates to Tiphareth in the Kabbalah. The Temperance card, when placed in pathworking falls between Yesod (the subconscious) and Tiphareth (the heart centre). The crown represents the symbol of rightful leadership which is only be granted to the heart that is connected to the light of the source. The angel of Temperance clears the way, working on all the subconscious elements to make the pathway open to the devoted seeker. This pathway is known as the rainbow bridge, created by the archer's arrow which shoots forth the pierce the heart. It is not a surprise then that Sagittarius is the zodiac sign that is attributed to this card. It was known as Bifröst in Norse mythology, the bridge that connected the world of man with the world of the gods.
       On the opposite side of the angel, we find a stand of Irises, which mean rainbow in Greek. This of course corresponds to the aforementioned rainbow bridge.
      On a personal level this card means a level of transformation and growth after a trying period. Things have been very rough for me recently and 2011 was a difficult year. It has left me a little battered and bruised and this card is here to show me that the crucible was a necessary journey for me. I could have been shattered by the events, but the carefully measured situation has allowed me to become tougher. I feel a new transformation is necessary for me, that I need to grow and open up in a different direction. It is giving me the strength to trust my heart to lead me in the right direction. This last year has shown me I have been willing to bend to the will of those who would not serve my best interests all too easily. Only what I know in my heart can lead me, not the will of those who cannot and do not listen to their own. The voice of my heart and conscience is the only and rightful ruler of my life and I have needed to have that pathway cleared.
      Interestingly I had a dream the night I drew this card in which I was talking with a man and I was explaining the virtue of kundalini energy. I was explaining that it was like embodying the serpent and the dove. I can think of no better symbol to explain the forces that need to be combined for kundalini energy to flow.
 
 

Getting out of the way of yourself.

  Too often we are in our own way. Many times we are too much in our own heads and can't let go of the control our egos like to exhibit. I learned something valuable today and it surprisingly came from my own mouth. It began with advice about doing a tarot reading, but has expanded into something greater.
   When one goes for, or gives a tarot reading posing the question is one of the oft most overlooked piece of the encounter. Yet the question is the crux of the answer and we forget that at our own peril.
   I was talking with a colleague today about setting up the question for a reading. How the question is phrased is of the utmost importance. I liken it to programming a computer...any mistake is because of human error. People have a tendency to limit their options for an answer to a simple yes/no or and either/or, but the answer may need to be much more far reaching. Limited views, preconceived notions of what is possible or leading questions can all lead the question astray before you even begin. Spirit will do its best to get the to heart of the matter, but a badly worded question can provide a significant block to interpreting what the cards are saying.
    Badly worded questions are limited and closed, not allowing spirit to answer in its fullness. Asking an either or question limits you to two possibilities, when there may be a third you are not even aware of. Yes or no questions can be just as bad.
      This is not limited to reading tarot cards, but any interaction with spirit that is limited by our vocabulary. Words have a structure of their own, often with narrow meanings compared to the energy that motivates the question. They can be wonderful tools if crafted well, but often they fall far short.
     I sat down this evening to pose a question to my own deck. The question broadly was to be, how to return the magic to my life. Don't get me wrong, I like my life currently, but it is not magical and it has been before. I set out several decks and took a moment to prepare myself before doing the reading.
   As I prepared, I focused inwards and relaxed allowing the question to coalesce into being. Sometimes as I do this the answers come before I have drawn the cards. In this instance I realised that I should pose my question as a prayer rather than a reading. What started to form was "How can I best bring magic back into my life" , which changed to "Help me bring magic back into my life". As I focused on this prayer one thing immediately stood out....me.
     I was asking spirit to help me bring back the magic, rather than getting out of the way and asking them to do it. I realised it might not be within my finite ability to bring this effect into being. Even with spirit's help, I might not be able to pull off what I was asking for. It is like asking for spirit to give me the strength to get over an obstacle, rather than having spirit remove the obstacle or provide a way to bypass it. My own limitations as a finite being stand in the way of every request in which I ask for help for me to do something.
    I do not need to be the one that overcomes the obstacle, that is what my ego would like, but not really what I want. There are instances where it is relevant to me to do something with spirit's help, but this is not one of them.
    There is a fine line here that I tread with this, between what I believe is possible for myself and what is possible for spirit to achieve above, beyond and for me. It reminds me of exercise we did in the Celtic workshop in which we do a healing, but the guides do all the work and we watch. For me it was difficult to step aside and let spirit work through me even though the end result might be more effective. There is a part of me that wants to be responsible for the healing directly. It wants the gratification, it wants to believe that it is the source of the healing. But it isn't. It is spirit. It has worked through me, but how much better might it work if the me got out of the way?
   Instead of asking spirit to help me, I asked for spirit to return the magic to my life. It involves a faith and a trust and not so much meddling on my behalf. I get to witness the magic occur through the act of faith and in the end, what is the difference? It feels more like commanding than pleading and that can only be a positive step. Spirit doesn't have a problem saying no.
 
   
     
     

X - Wheel of Fortune

     This mysterious card the Wheel of Fortune is one of the more enigmatic cards in the Major Arcana. It is usually simplified into "luck" and seen as a benevolent card to arrive in a reading. It is regarded as heralding a change of fortune, usually for the better. How this can be conferred from the symbolism is hard to grasp.
      The card itself is bursting with images, symbols and occult looking glyphs. These can be decoded with some understanding and I will elucidate their meanings for you shortly.
     I really wanted to get to the bottom of this card as it has been sat on my desk and at my bedside table while I have pondered it's meaning. My own life has been under going some changes recently and I would hope that the changes are for the better. It has felt as though the wheel that has been stuck for so long has begun it's inexorable movement forward out of inertia.
   The disk in the centre of the card is what first draws most people's attention. It is a bright fiery red orange contrasting against the blue of the sky, the image being representative of the workings of heaven. Upon the wheel are various glyphs. We have on the outer disk the letters "T" "A" "R" "O" which follow around one full cycle to form Tarot...also Tora(h) and Rota can be gained as well as a few more esoteric forms. Interspersed with these letter are the hebrew letters which form the Tetragrammaton for the name of the God of Israel (YHWH).
      The inner circle has delineations representing the eight seasons depicted in various pagan and oriental calendars. These lines are also shown covering the four basic alchemical substances (Water, Mercury, Sulphur and Salt) which sit in the cardinal directions.
       This all adds up to a lot of symbolism pointed at calenders and complete systems with multiple components or facets making up the whole. The whole card it seems is based on complete cycles, whether it is the elements, seasons, humours, astrology or numerology (10 is the beginning of a new cycle and entrance into double digits).
        When I became ten years old, it felt like I had entered an entirely new realm. There was nothing particularly tangible about it, but I knew that I would never have a single digit age again. It was a rite of passage that once passed could not be rescinded. We all go through certain cycles and there is little we can do to change these things, they are part of the fabric of our universe. The seasons come and go, people are born, grow old and then they die. We are powerless before the wheel of time.
        We see on the card Anubis the Jackal headed God of the afterlife on the underside of the wheel, occupying a position beneath common consciousness. His role was as a guardian and protector of the dead in Egyptian mythology.  He was also given the role of judge over the souls of the dead, before it was passed on to Osiris. He also appears as a bright red, linking him with the wheel and the process of karma, judgement and the cycling of the souls onto their rightful destinations. This implies that the wheel itself is somewhat driven by karma and it will bring into being what you have sown, the judge being that of the unconscious.
         Atop the wheel sits a sphinx, she is a bright blue and is an amalgamation of the four fixed astrological signs who sit in the corners of the card (Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio and Taurus). Curiously she doesn't possess wings and the elemental beings do. The sphinx holds a sword and sits in balance atop the wheel, linking her to the attribute of mind and thought. In her I see a link to the balanced forces of heaven, a conjunction of all the elements in balance sat above the wheel. She is a master of all the elements and even of karma itself. She points to the great secret that frees you from the wheel of karmic fortune, of being aligned with heavenly forces and not being ruled by astrological influences and yet being ultimately a part of them. The lack of wings is a symbol of her choice to remain upon the wheel and the blue is her connection to the throat chakra and living in alignment.
        On the descending side we see a golden coloured snake. Snakes are a symbol of wisdom and the gold is representative of wealth. The snake brings the wisdom of the workings of the universe gathered by the four astrological signs down into the material world. This is where the good luck and wealth aspects of the card really come in. The snake has already passed the apex and is descending to earth bringing with it good fortune and great wisdom. By this we can see that the wheel has already been set in motion, that the good karma, wisdom in past actions and alignment with cosmic forces has created a beneficial aspect.
         So as to be complete the four astrological signs all sit in their corners studying books of wisdom. They are being filled with knowledge about their respective positions in the universe and they will eventually reach enlightenment (The World card).
         The Wheel of Fortune has a very heavy esoteric bias, but most people are happy to see this card as good luck without understanding the mechanisms for its creation, which are all written here upon this key. In the end there will be no need for luck as one will be free to align with whichever stars happen to be favoured, rather than being tied to one's own.
        I am not there yet, so I am simply happy to receive this card, to know that the wheel is turning and all the good I have put into play will return to me. Coincidentally (or not), it is interesting to note that I drew this card one calender year from the end of the current cycle in the Mayan calender in 2012...spooky!
     
 

6 of Cups. Nostalgia and reminiscence

    Nostalgia is a powerful bittersweet emotion. It can be wonderful and terrible at the same time, bring aches to your heart and tears to your eyes.
    The 6 of Cups is all about that emotion, even in spite of its somewhat confusing imagery. The brightly coloured card shows a figure passing a cup  filled with flowers to a younger girl...possibly a child. It takes place in a secure walled town, complete with a guard protecting the meadow where they meet.
    I have spent many of my hours of my life lost in nostalgia, recalling the emotions of past times. Mostly I spend it recalling how I felt, emotions that feel out of reach except in bittersweet memories. People say that these emotions are a trap, that they hold you in the past, grasping for things that will never be again. There is an element of truth in their words, but there is also a reason we feel so drawn to these types of thoughts.
   There was one element in this card that I could not figure out at first. All of the cards are very well drawn, depicting with skill the elements they talk of. So as an artist there was one thing that stood out to me as I looked at this card. Barring the somewhat ambiguous depiction of a child, there seems to be a strong artistic flaw in this picture.  Looking to the left of the card we see steps and a pathway on which a guard with a spear is walking. The pathway is sloping upwards and the lines of perspective point in that direction too, yet the crenelations on the square tower point downwards towards the horizon line. This creates a discontinuity in the image. It is easy to think this may well be an artistic mistake that was overlooked, but if we are to remain in keeping with the idea that all elements have been included for a purpose then it may speak of more beneath the surface of this card.
       There are two options I can think of. The first is that the skewed perspective is a commentary on the warped perspectives we often show when we look back on the past, certainly on childhood experiences. The second is that the perspective is not incorrect and it is showing a bridge that is arcing up before suddenly dipping down. This would mean there was a river or some other obstacle we could not see that needed to be surmounted.
    There may be an element of truth in both of these statements. As a shaman I understand that memories of the past, regardless of how painful can be keys to certain lost emotions. There are some wounds that do not heal with time and our memories serve to bring us back to these psychical scars time and time again as if probing a missing tooth.
    I had a simple dream a few nights back that I have been puzzling over that I believe is somewhat related, at least for me. In the dream I had just emerged from a deep cave system, which has treacherous pathways and narrow ledges. I came upon a town in which I encountered a new car which apparently I had just bought. It was a deep red sporty looking vehicle, somewhat like a Mustang but with a slightly different design. I got into the vehicle and pulled out a map to find my way back home. The map showed a mountain range (somewhat like Colorado) with lots of names upon it. I was trying to find either where I had come up, or Flagstaff so I could return home with my new car. The dream was frustrating in that I could not find either on the map and I didn't want to start driving a new car not knowing where I was or where I was going.
    Looking back on the dream I can understand my feelings, having felt like I have just emerged from a very difficult period and found a new way of moving through the world. The problem is in how to bring that home to myself. I look on the map trying to find places I knew, yet not finding them. It is like I can't bring that piece home yet as I don't know the route. I search for a recognizable route but find none.
    Often nostalgia is like this. We can find a piece of ourselves trapped somewhere, but there is no point of reference on how to bring it back. So we go again and again to this place to taste the fruit that we have become disconnected from.
   Maybe that is the bridge unseen in the card. A link between that sweet memory and the security of our own being. It crosses an unknown obstacle and the route drops out of sight.
   The nostalgia in me points to a time when I did feel that great sense of adventure which the sporty car represents. Yet that time is gone and I am yet to understand how to bring it back to my home. I could live it once more by adopting the same attitudes as I had before and embarking on carefree endeavors. I could live in that disconnected dream world, but I have done that many times before. I know eventually the fuel would run low and I would need to rest my head, but I would be in unknown territory and far from home. So I chose not to adopt the mindset of the old...yet there is something there still to be integrated.
    In the card we see the larger figure gifting the smaller figure, a possible representation of our own inner child. So the card suggests that nostalgia does offer a gift if we can accept it and find a way to bring it back across the bridge. The way is safe, but unknown and that in itself can be a terrifying prospect.
    What I understand is that we have to find these lost fragments of ourselves, the parts of us that have been lost to time, or to hurt and find a way to bring them back to ourselves as we stand now. Otherwise we will never feel complete. It is a process of unearthing, like pulling an artifact from the ground and following the wire as it pulls out from the grip of our memories. By doing so we can see why it got stuck or buried, what was lain atop it or caused it to be disregarded. We must walk that mysterious bridge half glimpsed for ourselves for only then will we become whole. It can be a painful and beautiful journey as we step back into ourselves, but we must not lose hope that these pieces are gone forever. They are us, they are our soul and we must not abandon them.
    Many times we even feel that they are the property of others, that another made us feel that way. But by doing so we lose our power, it is our life and our feelings, they were just a trigger and it is within us to find it again.
    For me music is often that bridge to the feeling. The music can transport you back to a painful or difficult moment and allow you to relive it once more. By doing so it allows us to re-integrate that part back into our current awareness. I have been recently listening to the Pixies (Where is my mind? and Monkey gone to heaven) and a few other songs that remind me of feelings I had felt were lost to me and learning how to make them my own once more. Stripping them of their negative associations and taking only the good back.
     

XXI - The World

  The World card stands at the end of the Major Arcana, signifying great completion...a conjunction of all the elements in success.
    Where the Fool began his journey with the Magician he finishes it with the cosmic dancer in the World card. The laurel wreath, a symbol of victory is written large here forming a circle, a zero which draws one back to the start. Like all great cycles the end is only a prelude to a beginning. In this case, it is not a cycling back to the start but a step up to a new plateau.
    This card has a great deal of power behind it. The four elements are represented in the corners by their astrological fixed signs. A bull for Taurus, a human for Aquarius, an eagle for Scorpio and the Lion for Leo. These elements balance each other and form a unity.
      This card is completion, the end of a cycle, the great victory. It is preparing one for the next phase.
     When I received this card late last night I was not sure how I was going to write about it. Things did not feel very complete at all, in fact there was a lot of loose ends. What this day did do was string together a great deal of synchroncities together and end certain cycles.
    I started the day going and volunteering at the Medical centre and working on a colleague of mine who has been having treatments for her cancer. It was good for me to get out and do something positive, especially in helping someone else. During the treatment I felt a surge of new energy entering my Reiki. For possibly the first time Earth energy was beginning to enter into my healing. This energy is not the bright red of the base chakra, but an earthy brown. For me it is the integration and balance of the energies that I have been looking for. All four elements are now present in my healing and I look forward to working with this new element!
       The previous night I had done a reading for myself regarding what I should do to promote my business better. In it I was led to realise that I need to offer a free treatment to the two ladies who run the centre I operate out of. So I stopped by the store to let them know. When I arrived I got talking about my experiences in journeying that had occurred over the weekend. It just so happened that the girl I had done the journey for came in through the door as I was finishing the story. I let her know I had a message for her about the journey and she told me the information I had to pass on had already been told to her earlier in the day by another! Apparently it was only the second time she has visited the store, so it was quite unusual for me to run into her. I was about the leave the store when a lady walked in and asked if I was available to give a treatment, so I ended up staying to do a second treatment. Strangely this treatment was on the same chakra as the earlier treatment and the journey! I was also able to give clarification on an issue that was also troubling one of the ladies who run the store.
       I finally left the store to run into another friend of mine who was walking past the corner as I left. We walked together for a few blocks, before we parted ways and I ran into another friend not two blocks later. I got home at last to find out that Zoe had managed to get a cheque she was looking for, bringing relief to a financial issue we were facing. I had to go back for a meeting at the store later in the evening and as I was leaving, I ran into the same friend again in exactly the same spot, but several hours later!
       It seems that this card is showing me its powerful influence for completing cycles. I was not expecting anything of the sort today and I have only noted the most major of the synchronicities that I encountered. The addition of the fourth element to my healing practise is the final balancing factor. For me it means the end of a huge cycle in trying to bring in that element into my life and my healing work.
       In the card, the centre piece is the woman dancing. She holds two wands in her hands like batons which symbolise the connection between heaven and earth, but doubled. A purple sash swirls around her, purple being the colour of royalty and higher spirituality. She is otherwise naked, but unashamedly so. She is celebrating her freedom, balance and the successful completion of the journey. She is moving through the portal of the wreath, into another energy...a higher frequency. All the trials and tribulations find fruition in this card and we become ready to move forward to a new dimension in our lives.
     The World card is seen as the most powerful of the Major Arcana in its power to bestow real change to a sitaution. It has the four elements/directions and upper and lower symbolised by the wands. It means growth and change on ALL levels...spiritual, material, emotional and mental. They have reached their apex of power as evidenced by the fixed signs.
       I am hoping that this new influx of Earth energy spells the end of this particular cycle and the beginning of a new episode for me. Certainly as we all head into 2012 there are going to be some surprises for us!
 

I- The Magician

  The Magician card stands near the beginning of the Major Arcana (The Fool is actually first). He is a primal masculine energy, that of the active principle. He is the Fool's first encounter along the path, that of the first conscious step forward.
    Let us have a look at some of symbolism before we look in greater depth. He stands facing forward with one arm raised to the heavens holding a vertical wand to serve as a divine lightning rod. The wand is phallic in nature, which would actually fit in well with this card given its links to active energy. His left arm points to the earth below in which he is going to ground the energy. He himself is simply a conduit for the energies of heaven passing through him to the ground. His arms create a slanting angle which is reminiscent of the kabbalah's lightning flash.
     The lightning flash is the way in which energy travels through the tree of sephiroth from high to low in a zig-zag fashion. This lightning flash shows how heavenly energy moves through the layers of creation from idea to construction to completion. Every single act of creativity requires that these steps are followed. First there must be space in which an idea can be born, then comes the flash of inspiration which fills that void. This in turn is followed by a process of limitation which defines the concept with realistic boundaries before it can make its way into the world. It is then follows the zig-zag of expansion and contraction, until it is fully constructed.
     The Magician card represents that instantaneous generative force, completely active in nature, the flash of inspiration which is then channeled into form. The magician himself is the conduit or channel for that power.
    He wears a white robe, which represents his purity of purpose along with a red cloak above it symbolising vitality and the connection with the material. White and red are often seen as powerful symbols of creation. In the Grail legends Merlin was believed to have remarked on the forces of creation as being a white and red dragon eternally locked in twisting battle. They are also the colour of blood, milk and seminal fluids, which are all connected with the act of creation.
     Above the Magician's head is a lemniscate, which is a the symbol representing infinity. This symbol actually appears over the heads of several of the figures in the Tarot. It represents the divine forces sublimated into the characters of the cards and the universal binding of forces. The energy systems of the body create a upright lemniscate, circulating universal life force around our beings.
   Around the Magician's waist is a belt in the form of a snake biting it's own tail also known as an Ouroboros. This symbol is known to represent the eternal ring of life, where the end is only the beginning and so forth. Anyone who has seen the Neverending Story will have seen this before! In the Nordic legends Yggdrasil the World Tree's roots are encircled by a huge snake or dragon called Nidhogg whom holds its tail within its mouth. When it wakes it will evoke the end of the age through Ragnarok.
    The table represents an earthly plane on which all the four elements are lain out before him. A Chalice representing the element of water. A pentacle representing earth. A staff representing fire and a sword symbolising the mental plane of air. This shows the magician's mastery of all the elements in the service of the divine. It is also connected with the use of ritualistic magic, through the careful application of elemental energies.
  Beneath the table flowers bloom, both lilies and roses..again the red and white. They represent divine love, purity and innocence.
   The card holds a great deal of symbolism and each aspect could be taken further and further. There is a great profusion of information here and just absorbing the symbols within this card gives some clues to its many mysteries. The main element revealed within this card is that of the connection from heaven to earth. The Magician himself is a very strong archetype that is found within mythology and stories the world over. Just think of Gandalf, Merlin or Dumbledore! He is the active principle of the divine, able to conjure flowers or fire from the very air through his knowledge of the workings of the cosmos. He is not the passive mystic who sits and ponders and asks the universe for its bounty. Instead he is the active element who literally draws forth the elements to do his bidding.
   One may be tempted to believe that the modern scientist is an example of this card, but this archetype has one distinction that the modern scientist is yet to understand. His will is also that of the divine and that is why he is able to draw forth such power. He is cosmically connected and serves through his application of will.
    For me, that is the essence of this card and what it has to teach me. I have taken mainly the path of the mystic, who follows in the pathway that is shown to me. That one should remain open and passive in order to best serve.
   The Magician is the complementary of that. He applies his will and force knowing that because he is a servant of the divine that the way will be opened. He is placed where he needs to be in order to function effectively. His acceptance of ritual magics shows he does not doubt his own effectiveness and is capable of changing elements to suit his will, which is tied to the divine. In doing so he becomes the very elements themselves.
    Another important principle within this card is that of the linking of Above and Below. Hermes Trimegistus (The Thrice greatest) was reputed to have created the Tabula Smaragdina (Emerald Tablet) in which he wrote "What is above is also below and what is below is also above". This linking principle connects the heavenly and earthly realms, that there are correspondences both in heaven and earth. Through the Magician's application of this knowledge he is able to alter one to influence the other.
     Of course, outside of all this symbolism what is one to take from this card? It shows a great deal of the mysteries, but how to apply this knowledge in the earthly realm we live in? Once we are done with looking at the symbols, what can we then take home?
     For me it shows it is time to apply the knowledge one has to create something in line with the divine. It does not mean waiting for the universe to hand you the solution, but to take the tools you have at your disposal and do something with them. It means taking a step forward and actively using what you have to achieve what you want.
   I find that this card brings up a feeling of trepidation. I am so used to waiting for the correct time, or waiting for the right opportunity, that to act without "waiting" carries a seed of fear.
   Yesterday I spent the day playing football (soccer) with some friends. I happened to find that there was a muscle that was very tight in my right leg and I was unable to stretch it out fully before the game began. As the game went on it got worse and worse. I found myself unable to kick with any power or to move with any speed. It was as though every time I tried to move, there was a delay or hesitation before I could get moving. This second of slowness meant that my opponents could run circles around me and I would miss simple passes because I couldn't get started quick enough.
    This injury reminds me of my own hesitation before embarking on any endeavor of my own making. Every time I want to take action I hesitate to make sure it is the right thing and often end up messing up my footing. Some people are so confident that whatever they do is the right thing that they never stop to consider it, much less fumble their footing trying to decide which way is best to go. The Magician is the perfect example of someone so attuned and confident in their own actions that there is no hesitation and their timing is right because of this. For some, life is a constant hesitation as they try and figure out the best way to move without stepping on toes, crossing someone's line or upsetting emotions.
   It is not a constant for me, but it is enough to cause me to often question my instinctual impulses so that the moment is lost. The balance between active and passive is weighed too heavily on the passive side for me and the Magician is here to remind me that that balance needs to be redressed. That I am aligned with the universe, I do have the tools necessary and there is no need for hesitation....Lightning does not ponder before it strikes!

Ennui and the Green Man

    I had another dream last night and I wanted to get the words down before they disappeared back into the ether. The dream was one in which I found myself wandering the streets of New York. I have never been there outside of playing Grand Theft Auto in a city based on it (This actually helped me navigate in the dream!).
   In the dream I had the day to spend in the city before returned back to my hostel/hotel. I think I was a tourist there as I was alone and didn't know anyone. The streets were busy and I wandered with no sense of purpose, just spending time.
   I have spent several years travelling so being in a new strange city on my own is not something particularly usual to me. So I was ready to just pass the dream off as irrelevant.
   Since the last few night's dreams have had greater relevance when examined more thoroughly, I felt I should do the same for this one.
    I started with the tone and feeling of the dream which I had at first discounted as usual. When I started to examine how I felt in the dream, I began to realise something. What I had felt in the dream was a great sense of ennui..now this word is not one I particularly use often, but it fits perfectly. It means disinterest through boredom. But it also speaks of a more existential feeling. It is pronounced ON-WE and is French in origin, and as as is known, the French are masters of existential thought and feeling. I felt that the world was uncaring, unsympathetic and indifferent to my loneliness and separation. Anyone who has ever spent time alone in a city when they know no-one has probably encountered this (if not watch Lost in Translation).
      That I would regard this terrible feeling as normal allowed me to look once more at the feelings it evoked and its roots. I think this is a follow on dream from the dinosaur dreams in my last blog posting and it speaks to my feelings at a slightly older age, when the immediate threat to survival had disappeared, or at least had evolved to a philosophy that included it in my burgeoning world view.
     I must have been around seven years old, when I first recall strong feelings of ennui. Which I am guessing isn't something that is usual in a seven year old outside of independent French films. My parents worked very hard in a cafe below where we lived and I recall spending large amounts of time watching the rain falling from the upper stories of our house. They were too busy to devote time to looking after us and there was a great number of babysitters, many of whom would watch TV while they "looked after us". It seemed like the rain would fall endlessly and the hours would drag past, until they would emerge exhausted from below. It is not that my family was restrictive or that they didn't care. We just lived in the centre of town on a busy road, so I couldn't play outside, even if there were any kids to play with. We had a rather smelly backyard, which was slimy and had mint growing up through the broken cobblestones and looked rather like some dreary set from a Dickensian story about urchins.
   Looking more at this I was struck by another memory from some years ago when I was ill with flu. I spent the day in bed with a hot water bottle and the day outside was dreary and raining. I had positioned the hot water bottle under my shoulders and fallen asleep. When I awoke, I found that my shoulders had really relaxed, but it also brought with it a terrible emotion, one of crushing despair and loneliness. It was too much to deal with at the time, so I regrettably had to suppress it. I think that it is likely still there and I think this may well be connected.
    I realise that if this philosophy of an uncaring and unsympathetic world still has purchase on my psyche, then it will likely prevent me from recognizing anything that might disrupt it.  The way in which energy works in conjunction with belief systems is that it lets in data that corresponds with its own ideology and rejects data that might disrupt its homeostasis. It even goes so far as to set itself up to encounter situations that re-enforce its ideology. This means one does not often run into situations that would threaten the status-quo of your belief system. Typical examples I have noticed are; skeptics invariably end up visiting fraudulent psychics,  abusees ending up with abusers, thieves robbing the financially paranoid etc etc. All because the situations continue to re-enforce the dynamic and we are subconsciously always steered towards the path of least resistance. Most of the time it is easier to be robbed, than to change your opinion about robbery ...as absurd as this initially sounds.
    What I am coming to the conclusion is that my own perceptions about the universe were initially loaded from very early on by circumstantial situations. Had my family been extremely wealthy and been able to holiday regularly and spend more time with each other, chances are that my perspective on the benevolence of the universe might have turned out a little different. Of course this may have brought up its own issues.
    This alerts me to the fact that my preconceptions of the universe are likely incorrect and I must learn to de-programme this childish perspective in order for it to more closer resemble the true model. Otherwise I will continuously be drawn towards systems that attempt to validate the way I understood the universe to have run.
    I have certainly witnessed the benevolence of the universe to others, so this makes the job a great deal easier.
    Another chord was struck when I recalled watching an episode of Battlestar Galactica late last night. In the episode Gaius Baltar is preaching about feeling that God loved him and that we are all perfect. Now, although I certainly feel a divine presence pretty much all the time nowadays, I would hardly say that I feel a stream of love coming forth. It is more like an impassive spectator to my daily triumphs and follies. It is happy to offer helpful advice and guidance, but I have never noticed any emotional connection or bond. There is more of an inscrutable Chinese martial arts mentor vibe going on than loving guru.
     This causes me to question if this is not my own doing, that is some way my own perspective is screwing up such a subtle and fine vibration. Crying out for mercy would have little effect if my own belief system denies the possibility of it ever actually occurring. I may even receive it yet have it filtered out in order to maintain the status-quo. I have tried before with little apparent success and I don't like spending much time at my own pity parties.
    This led me to take a look at it from a more energetic perspective on where such a problem may actually be occurring. The natural choice is the heart chakra, certainly given the incident with the hot water bottle. Now for those not familiar with the heart chakra, its colour is green (Each chakra has a corresponding colour which resonates). I had always wondered why green? I know it would mess up the entire spectrum thing, but I thought maybe pink would be better for the heart. Green always seemed such a silly colour. I remember getting angry with my mother for buying me a green shirt and specifically asking that if she was going to get me clothes for Christmas, that they better not be green. I also recall my father saying that his favourite colour was green... this again made me feel irrationally angry...who in their right mind would pick green as their favourite colour?
    Suddenly I recalled when I meditated, often green was the first colour I would see. I would often be a little disappointed that it wouldn't be a more "spiritual" colour...like violet..or purple. I don't think I have ever owned a stitch of green clothing and don't talk to me about St. Patrick's day...Never mind my allergy to anything green in nature.
    It all started to make sense.. I have been holding off this type of energy. I have rejected all things green. Unsurprisingly, I stayed indoors with my hay fever during summers and walks in the woods were not really something I would consider enjoyable. Going to the local new age store this morning, I intended to pick up a green stone and I ended up also getting a small Green Man pendant.
    The Green man is an entity that is connected to life, vibrancy, the forest, foliage and the British isles. He is commonly known as Jack in Green and is known to Pagan and Wiccan beliefs. Given my obvious connection the British Isles I felt a kinship to this being that I had never been able to find in the Goddess worship that is so commonly accepted as being related to the Earth. Whenever I tried to connect the "Goddess" I never really felt anything and that she wasn't really all that interested, but in conjunction with the Green Man, it all makes a lot more sense to me. Neo-Pagan beliefs often have these two as beings who are wed and have a cyclical relationship similar to that of Persephone and Hades.
     It also makes sense with some of the other dreams I have had connected with my lineage on the masculine side. For some reason I always looked to the Italian side of my heritage to find my masculinity, given that I have learned a great deal from my mother about femininity. It was always my Grandfather who taught me the most about being a man and he was English. It has brought a renewed sense of connection for me and I plan to look into the Celtic side of shamanism. I am thankful all this can be gleaned from a simple dream about wandering alone in a city...
 
     Also the image at the top of page is a design that can be purchased at the following address: http://www.celestialachelois.net/

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