Knight of Wands. Fiery crusader.

   The Knight of Wands is a spiritual crusader. His energy is vibrant and passionate and suffers no lack of zeal.
   This card has appeared with great timing for me and there are synchronicities abound within the symbolism. Over the weekend I attended  an advanced Celtic healing workshop. Within the class we journeyed several times both for ourselves and for other people within the group. Journeying is going into the inner realms to achieve a certain goal, in this case it was centred around recovering pieces of ourselves or others that had become lost or trapped. These pieces can be anywhere, sometimes they are within the middle world, the world we know but displaced in time or space. The soul pieces are parts of our psyche that fragmented due to trauma or events in our lives and become stuck at that point, unable to progress or stay with us. As shaman it is our jobs to go and seek these pieces out and bring them back. They are often emotional fragments which bring memories of ways of feeling back to us we have thought lost to us.
      There were too many journeys to relate here, but there was a journey in which I was brought back a staff of fire (which related to my ability to be brutally honest and be a more active warrior in my own life). Several took place in Egyptian style settings (either in the past or fantastical realms) which also fits with the card's background.
     Two journeys however were very pertinent to the topic of this card. The first was a journey I undertook for another. In the journey I found myself travelling to the Hopi reservation and confronting a person who had taken a piece of my partner. He didn't seem apologetic and tried to laugh it off as him just finding it, but didn't stop me retrieving the piece. When I returned to wakefulness I discussed this with my partner, she was struck by my physical description of the man and his mannerisms. She had indeed met this individual and had been through recent difficulties for which she had been forced to leave abruptly to avoid making the situation for herself worse. He had been involved in black magic and mistreatment and abuse of those who worked under him. After the journey we were both a little shaky from the experience as though it had been a physical interaction.
     I was thankful for the ability to stand up for another's rights and deal with the situation in a way I was proud of. I was able to be the spiritual crusader in this instance, even if I was informed that dealing further with this individual was not my job.
     The journey she did for me brought up several elements which have taken a while for my psyche to filter and deal with. In the journey I offered someone my heart in a town square, after which I was dismissed and rejected. My heart had turned to sand and run through my fingers. When she described it to me, it was initially difficult to understand the situation as there were several events it could pertain to, although none of them really took place that close to a town square. I put it aside to examine a little later at my leisure.
    Today after some introspection I sat down to look at my card and to understand how it fit into the scheme of things. The card itself shows a figure clad in armour astride a rearing horse. He holds his staff aloft as if it were a lance. The figure faces to the left of the card, which suggests he rides into adversity (against the usual flow). The yellow tabard he wears is covered with salamanders which are symbols of transformation and fire (see the King of Wands for a further discussion of these creatures). His armour has several flame like plumes adorning it, which are indicative of his fiery nature.
   As I regarded this character I realised that it related to the journeys I had been involved in over the weekend. Usually when you pull a court card it is a suggestion that it might be wise to embody some of the traits of the card if it doesn't directly pertain to another individual. In this case it was the former. It was advocating becoming a spiritual champion.  As I thought further about this I realised that I need to become my own champion as well as one for others.
    Many spiritual schools of thought advocate against vengeance, violence or acts of retribution. Yet this card seems to suggest that very notion. He rides forth with his club raised and he is prepared to do battle with adversity rather than passively accepting it. Common ways of thinking stand very much against the idea of the crusade or the Holy war or battle. It is often seen as an oxymoron. Yet when one looks at the pictures and hears the descriptions of angels we often find them depicted as carrying flaming swords. How can we as humans say that it is unspiritual to carry a weapon when the Arch-angels themselves do? The soft sanitised versions of angels we are bombarded with these days are corrupted interpretations of a divine force. Without them there is no divine justice, no karmic retribution and no peace. We must use the tools we have, but use them only in the application of right. The young knight in the picture runs the risk of being too zealous in his approach, but his motivations are pure and so will stop him from creating any real trouble.
    In my own journey for my partner I encountered a being clad in armour wielding a spear and a shield. She informed me that having a shield alone is not enough, that one must have an active defence against those that would seek to do harm.
    Looking then at my own fragmented soul I saw that what had been lost would not return unless it could be be promised safety and recompense for its own loss. Looking deeply at my wounded elements I began to see what they were and from where they came.
      The Town square is a place where people come together from all places and for me that place is best represented by the hostel. I worked there for many years and it was the site of my greatest sadness. A friend of mine whom I had loved dearly had spurned my friendship and turned her back on me. I realised that I had lost more than just a friend, it had also spelled the end of my belief in a benevolent universe. How could someone I cared for so deeply and offered no harm turn upon me so viciously. I lost a piece of myself that day. From that day on my universe had been plunged into a darkness so filled with ennui and hopelessness that I found it difficult to find reason to go on.
     Over the years I see glimpses what was lost occasionally. It manifests as a feeling of profound happiness that disappears as abruptly as a breeze. It is a weight that keeps me tied to the earth, stops my heart from lifting in song and ensures that ennui is never far from my door. My basic nature is one of optimism, even in spite of this weight and I have no doubt I will one day find a way to lift my spirits back to that point. I understand my mistake in trusting a person who would abuse my trust in such a fashion, yet that still doesn't help.
     This card though gave me an idea. I need to find that piece myself and make sure it is protected once more. I took it upon myself to give myself that piece of justice, to rescue those pieces back. I have no way of getting that back in the real world, no telephone number to call, no address or no email. So in journeying to find those elements is the only way it will happen. I journeyed back and was able to find the pieces, to take them back. Now comes the task of re-integrating them back into myself so I can feel them once again. For this there is no manual and I must trust to my own inner sense on how to do so. I do have the spiritual warrior to protect me from further harm and that in itself is a valuable lesson.
 
 
   

Knight of Pentacles. Pragmatism and the work ethic.

Before I drew this card I asked for "the card I most had to learn from". This pragmatic and very practical knight is someone I indeed can learn a lot from.
    The suit of Pentacles is linked to the material element of earth and the Knight in this instance is related to the airy part of earth. He is a mix of intellectual and pragmatist, a clever individual who knows exactly what he wants and it can be found right here on earth.
   He is clear in what he wants and has the determination to get it, sometimes even to the detriment of anyone who gets in his way as he bulls his way to his goals. His horse is a solid black, strong as an ox and very sturdy. This horse would as happily carry the knight to war as it would pull a plough through a field. Both the horse and his rider are very physical as you can tell by the profusion of red trappings both are wearing.
   The Knight has his gaze firmly locked on the pentacle in his upturned palm as if by turning his iron gaze on the coin it will grant him the ability to sniff out the next opportunity. His mouth is set and determined and he is either just finished with a task or about to start a new one. He is not one to waste his time with idle dreaming when he could be out doing.
        He wears a solid unadorned suit of plate mail, completely functional, the only trim is a green garland which symbolises his past successes. He is not interested in anything but the here and now and what can be gained in this present moment. He is lacking a solid connection to the spiritual or emotional aspects of life, so he finds his purpose here on Earth. At worst he has the self assurance of the materially sufficient and the spiritually void, self satisfied he already holds the answer to all his problems in his hand.
    Behind him sits a freshly ploughed field ready to be planted with fresh new crops and it wouldn't surprise me if he had ploughed it himself this morning before donning his armour.
    As all Knights do in the Tarot, they represent messengers of their own element. In this case the knight brings financial tidings, either positive or negative depending on the surrounding cards or the intuitive feeling that accompanies the card.
   For me personally the card meant one very important thing. The arrival or delay of news regarding my finances. I have not been gainfully employed for nearly 6 months now after leaving my last job because of an inner urging and trusting in the universe and my own guides. The Knight of Pentacles would have been shaking his head and tutting if I had asked him his advice in this economy. The time has given me the space to work out many different things I needed to work out and for this blog to grow and to one day flourish. I have reconnected to my artwork after 10 years and moved through a lot of personal obstacles.
    It seems though that this period is coming to a close as I sensed at the beginning of October, both for inner and outer reasons. I have been steadily applying for jobs since August and hearing very little back. We are in danger of not meeting the rent this month and my guides are asking me to do a course in the middle of the month...which is not free. I have said ok to doing the course, even though the money is currently not present.
    I have ridden into many box canyons on my journey, trusting in my guidance to deliver me (certainly when they ask me to ride into them!). Every time it gets a little easier to trust, but as the money runs low tensions can run high.
    So when I get this card I start to wonder if the knight is just telling me to be utterly pragmatic and just take any job...or that I will have good tidings. Being utterly pragmatic in my life has led me into many difficult situations so I have been loathe to do so. That feeling alone has led me to some of the worst jobs in my life, jobs that do not nourish my sense of self, jobs that have me questioning my very worth. My family has very working class roots, my father was raised as an uneducated goat farmer in the south of rural Italy and my mother's side of the family worked in service and manufacturing, my mother being the first in her line to get a college degree. I was raised in Yorkshire in the UK and for those who do not understand what that means, it is a region once dominated by mining and mills. Our school trips were invariably bleak investigations of either farming or textile mills still strong with the resonance of children losing their lives and limbs in huge looms, working 12 hour days for the ability to survive. So the idea of pure pragmatism has some very negative connotations for me and as a result it is hard for me to see clearly in these situations. Monty Python does a great sketch with 4 Yorkshire men each complaining about how hard their lives have been  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo
      With this in mind..I was hoping it was the good tidings, but a bleak holdover still intoned the likelihood of the former. What is the chance that after so many months I would get work at the same time as the card? So I put the card aside until I could feel a little more connected to the message the card had to say, without these dire feelings influencing them. I let go of the thoughts and feelings and gave way to trust and hope once again.
     This morning the phone rang at 9am and I ran into our living room to find that it was one of the jobs calling to let me know that if I wanted work I could have a job starting next month. Its a job shoveling snow, but it gives me the opportunity to move out of the situation I am in and still have the time and mental energy to work on what I really love to work on.  It was the job I was hoping for because it will be outside, physical and that is what I need right now as a counter to working indoors at a computer. I feel that the knight was bringing me good tidings after all...I just had to hold on and remain faithful.

Knight of Swords. Mental activity.

   I drew the knight of swords after what I felt like was a pretty hit-and-miss kind of day. The blowing winds on the cards were certainly matched by the rain and lightning storms that were prevalent through the day and we did enough charging about too! We went out for lunch with a friend and ended up being chased by wind,lightning and rain in an attempt to find a dry spot good hike. We were rained back into the vehicle numerous times and at several stops, although we did get to see a snake laying across the path enjoying the warmth of the asphalt. He certainly seemed in no rush.
   Anyway...the court cards often represent people and I often am unsure how to fit them into a reading especially if they fall by themselves. The readings I do tend to be short on personal info and more about situations and how to bypass them, so when I encounter a court card it is kind of like finding an Uno card in my poker hand.
   The knight on the horse certainly seems to be in a hurry to get somewhere, so hurriedly he only had time to put on one glove. He races into the winds, his sword raised and a look of panic on his horse's face. Maybe he is racing back and forth with no real destination, looking for a way to be useful. The birds above his head also seem to display the same lack of cohesion and the card seems to speak of hurrying, almost for hurrying's sake. The birds adorning his cloak and on the horse's barding suggest a  flightiness..certainly coupled with the butterflies which in this card only emphasise that particular element rather than bringing in any real transformation.
     The suit of swords represents thoughts and mental activity and I am reminded of my own thoughts..although to say thoughts would be a misnomer. During a meditation late last night I asked about how I could learn to see in greater clarity with regards to seeing energy and clairvoyantly. It is not that I cannot, but it is as though a gauze is over my eyes. The answer came that I need to cleanse the visual impressions away from my mind more regularly. Sure enough, when I relaxed into it I saw the activities of the day dancing before my eyes. I had spent quite a bit of time playing a video game and all I could see was the back and forth movement of the game, as if I was an incredibly indecisive hummingbird. In the game the character is stuck on a deserted island and plagued by zombies and now all I could see was my frantic scrambling up and down pathways and the constant shifting of scenes. I had intended to run a second blog about reviewing games along side this one, but I get the impression it may well be too much of a stretch. I may end up like the knight on horseback..running back and forth on a mental level to try and make everything work.
        The knights often represent masculine active energy and in this instance those brought into play in the mind. In this particular combination it is not particularly helpful and can suggest a frenetic situation, they often can be regarded as messengers of whichever energy they serve.
    Maybe the knight is simply showing me the futility of frantic action with no real cause, which is certainly a good reflection of the day in which nothing of any real substance was achieved. In the end I just chalked it up to being one of those days!