2 of Pentacles. Uncertainty and imbalance.

  The 2 of Pentacles stands at the beginning of the suit and after the strong Ace, promising new beginnings we are already suffering uncertainty. The two pentacles represent material goods, work, money and even health.
    The figure is standing on one leg and trying to balance the two coins, while wearing an absurdly tall hat. Not to mention the roiling sea behind him.
   Everything about this card shouts that things are unsettled and are trying desperately to find some level of equilibrium. The figure himself looks disinterestedly off into the middle distance as though this unsettling situation is an everyday occurrence. I find myself sympathizing with him as his situation accurately depicts my own at the moment.
    His garb is simple reds and yellows, which depict this uncertainty as occurring both on a physical and mental level. Binding the pentacles together  is a green band shaped into a lemniscate. This green loop is the symbol for infinity, but in this instance it only seems to underline the fact that uncertainty and change are constant and eternal. Unusually his shoes are also this bright green, which seems to suggest that balance is found in aligning with the heart and grounding that energy.
     The figure is somewhat reminiscent of a court jester with his bright clothing and tall hat. The hat seems to further accentuate the rolling and tilting feel of the card. Hats are usually representative of the mental attitudes we possess and he is using that element in the card to make sure he doesn't overbalance. You may also notice the line across the floor near the edge of the sea, this makes the figure look as though he is on stage and the backdrop may merely be a painted image.
     Regardless of the figure's juggling , he does seem to have reached a level of equilibrium within his unorthodox posture. He reminds me of a circus clown who while appearing to be on the verge of constantly falling somehow manages to maintain his equilibrium and not spill whatever he is carrying.
     The ships in the background are riding the comically curving waves and their journey if those waves are to be believed would certainty be bumpy.
     This card is how I feel at the moment in my financial situation. I am juggling several different possibilities for work, while trying to maintain a firm base and I feel like a clown trying to keep a tall stack of plates from falling. Like a cosmic jape that is no longer funny I have passed into the realm of not caring about the performance any longer and it is only a matter of time before the plates come crashing down if no real and enduring equilibrium is found.
     Another interesting aspect for me within the card is the aspect of balance as related to physical health. I have been attempting to stretch out my hamstrings and inner knees and finding that when I walk the tightness causes me to walk on the outer edge of my feet. Balancing because of this is more difficult as I tend to sway to either side as I balance on one leg! I noticed some tension in this area as I relaxed in bed last night pondering the day I had been through.
        I had run a game of Llumination for the staff at the healing centre. Now Llumination is a tarot based game that I am trained to facilitate. It is kind of like a group tarot reading, but with input from all the other people partaking. It can bring up some interesting topics and can be a lot of fun and very involving for all playing. As I ran the game, we came close to the last round of questions. One of the participants had asked a question about when something would be coming to an end for her, something she has been looking to have closed for over a decade. The game gave the answer that there would be resolution within one month.
       Now, for me I find giving such definitive answers is a risky business. I have felt burned too many times by things not coming to pass quite as I had hoped, of leaping and not finding a net beneath me. So much so that my tired old knees protest every-time I have to have faith in something working out as the universe has dictated. Looking back at the situation while I lay in bed I could feel my knees tensing up, even just thinking about having faith in such a definitive answer.
        There was a time in which my faith was much stronger with regards to financial matters and such a leap would not have bothered me and lo..a net would appear. Yet, somewhere along the way I have lost that gung-ho attitude and I wonder if a lack of faith is causing me to falter when I am left with such a clear answer.
      For me I feel the card points to a deeper problem, that of returning the fearless faith I had in the universe, for without such a faith I just ending damaging my knees after a bad landing. I took a nasty fall and I am afraid to go back and take the high wire once more for fear that once more the net will be gone when I leap.
   

2 of Cups. Soul Mates and conscious relationship.

  The Two of Cups is often regarded as the most romantic of the cards and the one (apart from the Lovers card) that most people want to see in a reading regarding relationships. The Lovers card is Major Arcana though and as a result is often speaking of the conjunction of male and female energies, which does not always signify relationship between a man and a woman (or any loving couple).  The Two of Cups however signifies partnership.
   Looking at the card you can see that the figures are sharing their cups (emotions) with each other and there is a definite connection between them both. Both figures wear white clothing beneath their more colourful attire and this symbolises a purity and innocence of motive. The woman wears a blue tabard symbolising communication and the man wears a yellow tunic and tights for the intellect. This is interesting as those traits stereo-typically match how each gender connects to a relationship. She also wears a laurel wreath for victory and he wears a circlet of roses for the heart.
    There is also a more esoteric element to the card. The symbol springing from their touch is called a caduceus. It is generally regarded as the symbol for medicine, though this is a superficial corruption of its original meaning. It symbolises the rising of kundalini energy up the spine (the central line, often called the Sushumna). The two serpentine shapes twining around the central column are the masculine and female energies or the Ida and Pingala. As a person integrates and balances their own internal masculine and feminine energies the collective energy in the central column rises to the eventual goal of enlightenment.  Typically the head of the staff is adorned with wings alone.
     In this instance it is topped with the head of a red lion. The red lion is an alchemical symbol for fire or sulphur, one of the main ingredients for turning base metals into gold. Jung felt this meant philosophical metals within the psyche rather than actual metal and I have an inclination to agree (not that I would rule out there being a material equivalent!).
     What I feel this means is that enlightenment can be found through relationship and I would possibly even go so far as to say it is impossible to find it without, even if that relationship for some is a purely internal affair.
     Interestingly I see that the point of caduceus springs forth from the touch between the pair in the card. Since the lion means enlightenment through fire (sulphur) I believe it is speaking of the chemical and elemental connection that happens between soul mates.
      This brings up the consideration of soul mates in which there are many different opinions and considerations. My understanding lies upon the line that some souls are more connected than others, whether through living together previously in past lives or simply by virtue of their individual make-ups. Some people you meet you just feel connected to...almost immediately in some cases. When two people meet who are connected in such a way connect, then there is a sacred fire between them which is a seed for powerful growth and change through the element of love.
      I believe that there are soul companions who are beings that you have travelled with through many lives, with who you might feel an immediate connection to even if it is not romantic. These can turn into romantic connections and in fact are more powerful than a relationship built only lesser attractions. Often these companions are catalysts for growth and change in our lives and open us up to ultimately connect with ourselves.
    In order to open up sufficiently to find your soul mate requires a great deal of inner work and purification. Otherwise you simply attract whichever mate is needed for your growth at that time. Let me get this straight, there is nothing wrong with this and without these mates there would be no chance to find our true partners.
   The words twin flames and soul mates are bandied about a lot without any real understanding of what it means. It is unlikely you will attract someone who is resonating at a high frequency unless you yourself are also resonating at this point. The idea that a prince charming will arrive and rescue you from your own inadequacies is very slim, unless you have set yourself on the road to serious self improvement. Simply wishing for it will not make it so, you must step out on the road to make any progress upon it.
   Many relationships can be catalysts for growth, propelling us and challenging us to move and grow with each new obstacle or adventure. This card is about finding a connection that helps us reach that new level. It is about that magical spark that ignites between two people causing them to become greater than the sum of their parts. Each person brings their own qualities and is able to share them with the other.
      Typically a relationship is a contract between two individuals based on conditional understandings between the two for their mutual security and to provide them with the energies that they themselves are unable to provide for themselves. As time progresses there is a tendency to slip into complacency and to form rigid patterns or expectations based around the other person. You stop seeing them as a vital growing being and start seeing them as a provider of things you require. Arguments begin based on these subconscious contracts and the beautiful opportunity to grow is lost, submerged under the misplaced expectations of our partners. When this happens we are no longer growing...we may be aging, but we certainly are not moving forward.
    We have all seen the sad situation of when a rigid couple breaks up and they both return to the emotional and mental age at which they decided to stop growing (usually at the point the relationship began in earnest and the magic died). If they could maintain a level of consciousness then this wouldn't occur and if they needed to be apart then it would happen organically.
     The two of cups for me only re-iterates what I know and reminds me that conscious relationship is the way forward for the human race. I only enter into conscious relationships, anything else is a waste of my time. Zoe and I have a relationship that is open to growth, to change and to allowing each of us the space we need as individual beings.
   

2 of Wands. Elevated perspective.

  The 2 of Wands is about elevated perspective and taking in the bigger picture. I feel there are a few other cards that cover the idea of patience, such as the 7 of Pentacles. But this card has a slightly different take on the situation.
    The figure stands upon the crenelated battlements of a castle, gazing down upon the glob in his hand. Both instances suggest elevated perspectives, one of the globe and the other of the countryside spread out before the castle. Not only is his perspective elevated in terms of a viewpoint, but he is also physically above the landscape.
    This morning I woke up with a different perspective, one that is mirrored by this card. I woke up feeling somewhat elevated because of certain understandings I came to last night. After drawing the 10 of Wands as my last card, I felt able to let go of certain burdens I had been carrying. I shuffled the deck and drew again and again drew the 10 of Wands, I figured the odds were low for this occurring and took it to mean I wasn't fully finished with processing the lesson. I spent time talking it through with Zoe. I recounted a situation in which my ex had once accused me of putting her on a pedestal. It didn't make sense at the time, as I felt I treated her with the respect I would any person. It now occurred to me that I wasn't elevating her above normal, but actually treating her as a worthy being. It turns out now that she was not acting as one and that created the disparity.  I then shuffled the deck (even more fully than before) before the drawing the 10 of Wands a third time! At this point I left them for the evening and decided to sleep on it.
        Upon awakening I felt different. It is as though a shift occurred while I slept. Suddenly I felt as though I am worthy of all the things that have been lacking in my life. By listening to all the statements of doubt others had said about me I had internalised them. I realised that I wasn't less than those who tried to intimidate or take advantage of my good nature. I understood on a visceral level that those people are less for acting in such a way. I do believe all people are good and worthy, but only once they stand up and accept it. Before that they live out the roles they choose for themselves, myself included. It feels as those who sought to oppress me or plant doubt in me no longer have any power over me and all I feel is sadness for them. I had believed their lies that I was less, or worthy of doubt, that I should not trust my internal knowledge and listen to them instead.
       Like the figure in the card, it seems as though I am seeing the world anew. Not as something beyond me or out of my league. He stands in a position of confidence, knowing that the world or anything in it can be his. The two flowers on the crenelation are a lily and a rose, the symbols of purity and passion respectively. With the help of these there is nothing that cannot be encompassed with his elevated vision and materialised. Within his view are several castles which symbolise security and prosperity...in fact he is already stood upon one!
     He grips the first wand, showing that he is already in touch with his fiery nature and ready to bring forth his vision. The second wand is behind him and stands in reserve, firmly attached to the castle wall. This I feel symbolises that part of his fiery nature is tied up in materialisation already. He may not be aware of it, but it stands upright and ready, a reserve ready to be tapped. His orange robes are a strong contrast with the greenery beyond him and the uniformity of the colours speaks that he is firmly focused.
     The idea of rising above a situation is one that is well documented as being the best way to see one's way out or forward. In this case, it permits the figure to see the whole and make plans accordingly. In my case, the elevation was due to an understanding about the true nature of things, which then granted me a better perspective. I do actually feel greater as a person because of it and because I am no longer measuring myself by the standards of the unworthy.

2 of Swords. Denial and innocence.

 The two of swords is all about denial. Most of the time this denial is not something we are consciously engaging in, but it there never-the-less.
   It is tough to be in denial. I think I am in denial about my current situation and this makes this card all the more pertinent. The two swords represent the two choices presented before us, usually in an either/or scenario. Both of these options are unenviable. For me it relates to a job situation that is currently occurring. It snowed last night and all today, and for a guy with a snow shoveling job it should be busy, busy, busy. But my phone remained remarkable silent regardless of my going to bed at 10am and preparing myself to rise at 5am.
    Now I am in the unenviable position of trying to decide how to respond. After the debacle on Friday with the job (he called at 5am with no prompting and was a jackass when I called him back) I have to decide if not being called on a severe weather warning day is a brush off or that he simply had no business (which seems very unlikely). My gut tells me he is trying to "punish" me for not being available for his call and is therefore getting off on a power trip.
   This is where the denial comes in. Denial would at first glance seem to serve me well. Just wait a while... maybe I am not seeing the situation right... The money would be very helpful right now... Maybe I really don't want to work and this is a convenient excuse to be as lazy as I have been accused of in the past...I should really give him the benefit of the doubt...
   The figure is dressed totally in white, even down to the blindfold. White is typically related to innocence and purity. Does this mean that the figure is innocent in their situation? It would seem so. So then maybe this innocence is related to the blindfold. It is pretty easy to deny something you are innocent of knowing. Innocence and ignorance are close bedfellows and the figure is not facing up to the situation because of the lack of information. In my situation, I do not have the luxury of knowing all the facts, I really can't see what is going on behind the scenes. So maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself.
   The two choices seem to be either retaliation or submission. I could either call him on his behaviour, or let it go. Neither seem that fun. While writing a shouty email would be cathartic, it may just lead to further unpleasantness (and face it unpleasantness is not a skill I worked on honing). It is also just playing the game...do I have to adopt shoutyness as a personality trait to deal with individuals like this? Submission is equally repulsive, but it does come with a possible cash payoff (and I could really do with the cash).
   Looking at the card the symbolism seems to point to another option. The figure has her arms crossed over her chest. This means she is covering and protecting her heart and her vulnerability. If I could just relax out of the situation so it doesn't seem like a fight or flight scenario then I might be able to step away from the adrenalised solutions that appear in my mind. Following a course that feels good really is the best option and maybe if I stop being in defensive mode then I can start seeing clearly.
    Behind her we also see the seashore. The sea is an ancient symbol for the unconscious and this shoreline looks a little rocky. Trying to navigate a reef with a blindfold is asking for trouble. With her blindfold, she is  not even aware of the sea behind her. It suggests a tool that can be used to help determine the correct course which she is not making use of.
    In my situation it seems like facing the situation and leaving it up to my subconscious to figure it out might be the best option. The moon suggests sleeping on it might not be too bad an idea. It is transitioning and the fact that it relates to emotion might suggest that I may feel different in the morning.
   In the end, it feels like I am innocent rather than truly in denial and choosing an option while I am still emotional and unable to see all the pieces of the puzzle would be a bad move. I do trust my intuitions and I am sure that my subconscious will deliver up to me the ideal solution for this situation!