Page of Cups. Dreams and the youth

  The Page of Cups is a familiar card to me. Some cards just tend to turn up more often in readings than in others. When this happens you develop a rapport with the card, the card begins to transcend it's original pictorial meaning and develops something of a personal tone.
   The picture on the card depicts a youth, usually one of watery emotional disposition ( a dreamer usually) who is examining a fish he holds within a chalice. The youth is colourfully dressed in red, blue and yellow with lotuses embroidered on the tunic. On his head he wears a whimsical looking hat and scarf which looks reminiscent of a wave, both in colour and shape.
   The lotus, we have discussed before is a symbol of the ability to transform waste into beauty and is analogous with the chakras, both in form and function.
    The youth is stood in somewhat of a theatrical stance, he almost looks as though he is an actor in a play about to break into song about his fish. In this way we can understand the basic demeanor of the youth within the card. He is playful and doesn't take life too seriously.
      The fish for me is a symbol of dreams, like fish they swim just beneath the surface of the unconscious, breaking the surface occasionally and returning to the depths just as quickly. The youth has a good connection with his dreams, both the type of dreams we have at night and the type we hold aloft and aspire to. The former being a form of guidance in order to accomplish the latter.
   As with the youth, I have a good connection with my dreams remembering them almost nightly and sometimes more than one if I am on the trail of a particular idea. Recently I have been practicing my ability to journey. Journeying is the ability to travel consciously into the realm of dreams and bring back information from the unconscious, similar to a diver looking for pearls. At first it is difficult in the journey to separate an over-active intellect from the true subconscious material, although even the material your intellect delivers is affected by the tone of the subconscious material it is attempting to convey. In this way even material that seems over-intellectualised or imagined is useful because it is coloured by genuine information.
   Recently though I have found that my intellect has taken too direct a hand in trying to classify, objectify and extract meaning from the material brought forth. Like a young actor in a scene I have become overly invested in the reason for a character's actions rather than remaining true to the emotional core of the role. In doing so the energetic core can become lost in the egoic process of examination, forever marginalised to a sideline as it has to be "worked out".
    The card is a reminded to return to the whimsical energy of the dream and not get caught up in intellectualising or allowing the mind too much control. This has been a common thread with several journeys recently in allowing the unconscious material to surface without overlaying or submerging it with the weight of analysis. A tendency I fear I have had for too long.
   I have found that remaining open to seeing whatever emerged without allowing my mind to immediately begin analysis has been most fruitful. An example being that in a recent journey I perceived what seemed to me to be a feathery wing. Immediately my mind began to try and classify the phenomenon. Maybe it is a pegasus or a bird, maybe a dragon or a feathered serpent. In doing so I began to lose the connection to the genuine material that was emerging and falling into my mind. In learning to meditate and to journey the mind has learned to take a back seat in order to allow the phenomena to emerge, yet all it has done is wait till a later step in the process to attempt to assume control.
    The figure of the youth on the card is also symbolic of another situation in my life. A recent journey yielded information about several plants that would be helpful for me. I sat on this information for quite a while, since I doubted it's veracity. My perception that I didn't know anything about herbalism or plant remedies stood in the way of using the information I received. In the journey I was shown snapdragons, a willow tree and then taken underwater to be shown kelp. It was a simple and quick journey and my mind was quick to dismiss any likelihood that it would hold value.
    Late last week, Zoe and I were at New Frontiers (a health food store) where I was tentatively looking for the plant mixtures. I was having a difficult time following my intuition on it and had been looking at the blue-green algae instead ( I had been told it was very good for you, even if it was expensive). As I was looking at the suppliments I saw a jar containing Icelandic kelp. This reminded me that it was kelp and not algae that had appeared in my journey.
   On a whim I decided to see if there was any of the other plants available (I was pretty certain Snapdragon was not available). Instead I found that all three were available, even Snapdragon in an essence form. A friend of mine who works at the store was helpful enough to print off what all three plants were for and it turns out that it corresponds exactly with several of the issues that I have been working on. As a result I have been drinking down the plant essences and it has really helped. Tensions that I have been working on for a long while are disappearing almost overnight and the domination of my mind wanting a stranglehold over what I am doing is slowly loosening.
   I do feel like the character in the card, especially when I often have a cup of whichever essence I am now taking inspired by the journeywork.

King of Pentacles. Manifestation, fire and earth.

   The King of Pentacles is a strong earthy presence. His aspect is that of earth and fire. This card has had a lot to teach me, it has been sat on my desk here for a couple of days while I have come to understand some of what he has to bring.
    More than 5 years ago now I spent time with a gentleman name Craig Junjulas. He ran classes down in Sedona (as still does as far as I am aware) and I had the pleasure of having several private sessions with him in which he offered insights and helped me open further up in my own practise. At one point in a meditation we were doing he commented that I was like a King in armour sat upon a throne whose armour was covered in vines and roots and had become rusted and inflexible. That I occasionally would stir and break the bindings that had grown up around me, before settling down once more. The imagery stuck with me as it was a very apt description of myself. Upon drawing this card I am reminded again of that peculiar analogy.
   The King sits in a garden that has become overgrown and rampant. Branches, frond and leaves all creep up around the dark stone throne he sits upon. Rather than appearing dormant he looks very much aware, even if with his rich gown he appears to disappear into the background. His robes are covered in blue vines, somewhat reminiscent of veins or arteries. Each of these pathways leads to a bunch of succulent grapes a potent symbol of the fruits of life, abundance and the enjoyable things we can partake in.
      Looking upon the card and seeing such abundant life, growing free and wild I was struck how in control of it all he seems. He is absolutely secure in his place, almost rooted to his throne. His roots run deep and hold him fast to his base. His sceptre and the pentacle in his grasp show his grasp of the earth plane. He is a master manifestor, able to bring his desires into fruition.
     His card is the marriage of earth and fire, of bringing the spiritual fire down to the earth plane and creating what he wants. His robes are a riot of colour and pattern of fecund growth. Behind him stands the city walls and towers and minarets of red and blue. The red being a symbol of passion and the blue symbolising communication and transmission of energy. Beneath his robe hides a suit of armour that can be glimpsed on his left leg which rests upon a stone shape resembling the head of a bull or a dragon. He is ready and capable of defending his ground and self assured in his mastery of his element. The placement of his foot on the stone object asserts his absolute dominance.
   Another strong symbol that appears strongly in this card is the bull. Being closely linked to Taurus this card is about a figure who is stable (note the four bull's heads, four being a number of stability). Obviously there is a tendency for this type of individual to be strong willed to the point of bull-headedness and implacable once set into motion. He is not without creativity, but it often applied in a practical manner, his fire applied to earth creates physical objects. Just think of all the objects that need to be smelted or subjected to heat to create their final hardened form.
    For me there is a far greater meaning behind this card. It means applying one's fire or spirituality in a very practical manner. Many spiritual endeavours end up drifting around in the ether, never really finding completion. I have known Taurean artists capable of producing a prodigious amount of artwork, by just seem to be able to sit down and produce piece after piece of artwork. They take great pleasure in creating things of beauty, even to the point of  shutting the rest of the world out. My problem has been there has been so little earth in my chart that the flood of ideas and creativity that runs through me tends to burn away in spiritual or mental matters without ever touching the earth.  Even when I am inspired to create art it is in between all the mental and spiritual things I have going on. I don't know if I will ever be a prodigious producer of art, or even of earthly creations.
    What I have realised though is that this attitude would be most beneficial for me to adopt and to apply in my own life. This occurred very recently for me as I was performing a treatment for a client. He has been coming for several weeks and has had some very beneficial results. He was very complimentary about my work and telling me about all that was going on. Part of me felt jealous of this. How does this guy get to change things so fast? But I realised the ludicrousness of the situation. It was through my work that he was making this progress and I just haven't done that for myself on a practical level for a long while. The king is challenging me to apply my own energy in a practical fashion in my own energy system. So very often I get caught up in the theoretical aspect and ephemeral nature of understanding healing that I never actually get around to fully applying that process to myself. Of course when a client comes through the door I am down to business and apply the energy in a very practical way. I don't spend hours umming and ahhing about what the problem could be or ways to possibly fix it. I know I have a limited amount of time and that is best spent pouring energy directly into the situation on a practical level. After that is done then there is time to talk, but not before the work is done. Somehow I have failed to apply this in my own life.
    With this understanding I can really start to understand there may be something to applying a level of practicality to my own life. The King of Pentacles is nothing if not a practical man, what I have failed to apply in my own life is the time to sit down and actually do the work. To not spend so much time thinking it over, but to simply get it done. I made the mistake of thinking that because my energy exists within my own system then it is working on those parts that need work, but in reality those parts need dedicated attention. I need to put the time into them, not for them to only get the energy residue that occurs when I perform healings for others.
    Part of the problem has been I have viewed the magnitude of some of the issues as insurmountable, while if a client came to me I wouldn't spend time considering this, I would simply do it. Of course I do believe that getting to the point of being able to work directly on myself has not always been available. When I first began my healing work, I could only really pick up on the issues of other, much the same thing happened with readings. For others the readings and healings work great...for myself...not so great. Most people begin with this blockage I feel, they are simply not able to get the level of distance from their own issues to work objectively on them. This was certainly true for me! But as time passed I found that I was able to see some of the problems, but was not able to work on them effectively in the same way that a doctor cannot perform his own surgeries. This caused a great deal of frustration as I had trouble finding people open and aware enough to actually see the problem, let alone work on it..even with my prompting.
    Getting to the point where I can actually perceive and then work on a problem is a new thing for me, so I guess I should go easy on myself. For that I have the King of Pentacles to thank, for without him I don't think I would have tried to do it once again!

Page of Pentacles. The sensualist.

   The character of the Page of Pentacles is an earthy one.  The figure in this card has a masculine look even though the Page's are often regarded as the "Princess" cards, representing either young or female characters.
   He gazes raptly upon the pentacle in his hands, similar to all the court cards with the suit of pentacles. This suit has a very absorbing quality which causes many people to get caught up in the material aspects of their lives. The pentacle itself looks almost weightless in his hands, as if it were ready to float away.
    The card itself is very green and verdant and the colours particularly stand out with a lot of contrasts between the greens and reds and the oranges and blues. There are flowers beneath his feet and a copse of trees behind him, while to the right one can make out a field which appears in the Knight of Pentacles.
    There isn't a great many clues as to the nature of this individual other than he represents the earthy aspect of earth. In such, he is enraptured by the very element of earth. He is likely to prize the sensory nature of his being as being paramount. Taste, touch, smell, sight and sound are all important to him. He is a sensualist in the purest sense of the word. He is the child of the earthy court cards and as such is still very much like a child learning to experience the world through their body.
     This character has not learned enough yet to be pragmatic or set in his ways, he simply is too absorbed within his own experience to give it much thought. His lack of all the other elements can have him come across as emotionless or lacking in the finer aspects of being, but he is simply uninterested in them.
   The pentacles themselves are related to money and this is important to him, it is gateway that allows him to pursue greater sensory indulgences. Touch is also a primary sense for him and any career or occupation that allows him to be tactile works well with this character, he likes to be physical and to work directly with his hands. The predominance of green suggests he could be a gardener or be somehow connected to the vegetative world.
   This card is not an aspect I have a great connection with and is an element I find difficulty embodying. My astrological chart has no earth in it and until recently green has held little or no interest to me as a colour. The appearance of this card does relate to an aspect of my life that I am attempting to bring into fruition though. I have recently been in touch with a massage school here in the hopes of being able to add this modality to my skills. I have done energy work for almost 10 years now and have been happy to continue to build and grow my skills there. But, recently I have found the need to expand and add an earthy element to my practice. There are simply some difficulties within the energy system and body that are much easier to deal with physically. Most problems have a physical element at least somewhere in the process and that has been an element that I have been unable to work with.
    The sticking point has been money. My business has picked up a little, certainly enough to feel a little more comfortable with how things are progressing and there is certainly hope for the future. But it is not quite at the level where I am comfortable also paying for a course in massage along side it. This is a shame as I have the time, but not the resources to make it work at the moment. Since I am a relatively new resident in the US I am unable to get any kind of loan as my credit score has to start from scratch.
   I have definitely been feeling the need to add an earthy component and this card is another nudge in that direction. The page however is never likely to take financial risks, he is too practical for that and I feel in this he is right. I have certainly undertaken more than my fair share of risky ventures and been burned just as many times.
  However there is also the part of me that understands that I may well be trying to make this choice because it is the seemingly best of available options. Settling for a choice that doesn't fully fulfill simply because it is available is a difficulty I have faced before and I often have trouble with this especially when it comes to material choices. There are often better ways to be fulfilled and leaping for a boat that is passing close by, but not stopping for you can be a risky proposition. Unless you are certain of course and I don't feel certain about this.
   I believe in the end the card is showing me a possibility, certainly one that could become a reality. But is also a chance for me to see how strongly I want it and right now I am wavering, so I don't feel I will be leaping for this anytime soon.

Queen of Wands. Occupying centre stage.

    The Queen of Wands is one of the brighter court cards. She represents the female aspect of fire in its ruler-ship position and that of water and fire. It is also difficult to ignore the Leo symbolism within this card, there are lions on the back of the throne along with a sunflower.
     The sunflower is also represented within the Sun card. The sunflower itself is seen as a symbol of happiness and joy. The open face of the sunflower follows the progress of the sun making it an extremely active plant.
   Whenever I get this card it is linked to strong and vivacious women, usually Leos. Leo women tend to be pretty straightforward and are able to keep a good amount of optimism throughout situations that would have the less fiery signs sobbing into their tissues.
   The queen in this card is clad in a bright yellow gown, which immediately stands out and this is the way that this queen would have it. She is a bright individual who stands out from the wallflowers and is not afraid to stand up front and take the spotlight. You may also notice the soft lavender cloak she wears over her yellow attire, you might not see this soft tender side immediately as the yellow can be so overpowering, but it is certainly there. Lavender is a soft spiritual colour linked to a higher form of feminine intuition which this lady has in spades.
     At her feet sits a black cat. Black cats are symbols of luck, both for ill and for good. Each country seems to have its own ideas on whether they are good or bad, or even if the cat has to be walking in a certain direction! In this instance I would say that the queen is lucky as the cat sits at her feet and is a further representation of the queen herself. She can be somewhat fickle and prone to chase the limelight.
    There is also a further aspect to this fiery queen, the ability to voice her thoughts on matters large and small. She fully believes in her ability to speak the truth of the matter, not in a logical and intellectual way like the Queen of Swords but in an inspired and impassioned way. She is intuitive, intelligent and somewhat psychic and her Leonine demeanor gives her the strength and courage to voice her feelings and insights. At best she can captivate and illuminate a room, at worst she can come off as condescending and rude. Her fiery spiritual nature connects her to greater and deeper truths than those of the trodden masses and she is not afraid to make sure everyone knows it.
      Being a Leo myself (albeit a male one!) I can connect to this card somewhat and it has caused me to examine a way of being that I have encountered in my life. Recently I have found need to stand up for myself a great deal more as an individual, to not take abuse active or passive. This has been all well and good but there is a further element that has until now escaped my attention.
     It seems that I have encountered a greater number of people who have the ability to drone on for extended periods without a break. Most of these individuals come across as somewhat harmless. But they do have the ability to bore a room or to get people to roll their eyes or glance at their watches once they begin. It is like they have an internal monologue that they feel the rest of the world needs to hear. Even their own eyes glaze over once they begin, like they have left their mouths running while their brain rummages through the meaningless thoughts and ideas they stored up in their mental filing cabinets. It just happens that one of these people is a Leo. Now I am aware of the irony of this and I may well have the same problem myself once I get going on a subject I believe I am informed about...but hopefully not to this degree.
    I do feel a little exposition is helpful in bring a point across...but there are limits. My problem with them is that they continue to speak regardless of the fact that the person(s) they are addressing have shut up shop and are waiting for the next available out.
    How does one get them to either stop or get to the point without hurting their feelings? What occurred to me was that if I do this, then how would I like to have my attention drawn to the matter? I settled on the simple line of "You're rambling" if they get out of control, or a sharper "Does this have a point?" if it has gone on for a significant length of time. Hopefully I can be aware and courageous enough to use a softer line earlier on as ideally this is how I would like to be brought back to the present. Sometimes the person does it long enough to start sapping your patience and your energy and it becomes harder and harder to make an effective escape. In these circumstances being harsher is totally justified as they can kill a conversation and occupy centre stage.
    I recognise my own absence of power in letting these situations over run me and then feeling trapped or powerless as they chunter on to the point in which they finally shut up and leave the room. It is a form of energy vampirism, just on a minor level and in many cases totally unconscious. Letting it continue is a form of cowardice in wanting to avoid possible conflict. Nobody wants to come across as a bad person and these individuals can often use it to their advantage as they are unlikely to be challenged for such a minor matter.
     This of course is the shadow side of the Queen of Wands and can be avoided with a little bit of courage and the strength to confront, after all they are just trying to help!   
   
     

Page of Wands. Free spirit.

    The Page or Princess of Wands is the young element of fire, that part that is connected with the earth.
     I always see the young page as an adventurer, a globetrotter. She is stood grasping her staff, her eyes on the sky. Behind her stand the pyramids and a desert with a blue/white sky. She wears the same tones as the Earth beneath her, which links her with the earth realm. Therefore she is grounded and sensual, the fire element combining with this means that she is never dull or lacking in excitement.
     Looking at this card, one element stands out. The wand the figure carries has a very phallic shape, it is difficult not to notice it once seen. Nothing within the cards is there by chance, each element is chosen to be evocative. Rather being a crude symbol the phallus means the active driving and creative force. Since she is a page, she represents the youngest and freest element of the wands.  There is no heaviness in this card and a feeling of positivity and humour pervades. She has somewhat of a wry smile upon her face as if she is aware of the symbolism and rather than being offended she takes it lightly.
       Her garb is covered with salamanders which are transformative elements ( I discuss them further in the King of Wands). She also wears a blue hat with a feather in it. The hat itself draws the attention as it stands in strong contrast to the rest of her clothing. Blue is the colour of communication and hats are symbols of the our mental attitudes. The hat is obvious in its incongruency, it even looks a little ludicrous. In this instance I would say that this means she is unafraid to communicate what is on her mind, if it goes against one's first impressions of her and doesn't fit with the rest of her attitude.
      The page of wands is a happy traveller, creative, active but yet grounded in reality. She looks upon this odd mixture of fire and earth with a wry sense of humour. Like a traveller she doesn't get entangled emotionally, nor does she spend time over thinking a situation. She is looking for the next thing over the horizon, or happily enjoying what is right now. If she does have a fault is that she has a tendency to overlook emotions or her intellect as getting in the way of having fun. This can come across as somewhat distant as she happily flits from one enjoyable situation to another without a care for what this means for anyone else.
       Personally for me this card has brought up some questions within myself about the connection of earth and fire. They represent to me the twin forces of passion (fire) and materiality (earth) and how they function together. Zoe and I have been working on not guilting each other over various situations in our life and it has had some interesting side effects. Last night Zoe went to bed early as she had yoga to go to and usually this would mean she would ask if I was coming along too (even if I don't have to get up early). Instead of doing this she went early and fell asleep before I arrived. This meant I had some time to myself, without being concerned that I should be also going to bed.
      It brought up some feelings that usually don't appear when I am in a relationship. Removing the guilt my life and from going to bed when Zoe does, has given the space for these feelings to emerge. It is too early to speak clearly on what they are, but I feel they are linked to deeper feelings of guilt, shame and loneliness. I recognise them from when I have been single for a long time, feelings of shame and isolation..not fully connected to anything, but rising like a horrible tide. I mention them in conjunction with this card as I have an intuitive feeling that these elements are to do with sexual energy. The sexual symbolism is strong in this card and something is stirring deep in my unconscious, the mud has been disturbed and it is not yet apparent what is lurking down there. Whatever it is doesn't seem too pleasant, but digging through the muck is what inner work is all about.
     

Knight of Wands. Fiery crusader.

   The Knight of Wands is a spiritual crusader. His energy is vibrant and passionate and suffers no lack of zeal.
   This card has appeared with great timing for me and there are synchronicities abound within the symbolism. Over the weekend I attended  an advanced Celtic healing workshop. Within the class we journeyed several times both for ourselves and for other people within the group. Journeying is going into the inner realms to achieve a certain goal, in this case it was centred around recovering pieces of ourselves or others that had become lost or trapped. These pieces can be anywhere, sometimes they are within the middle world, the world we know but displaced in time or space. The soul pieces are parts of our psyche that fragmented due to trauma or events in our lives and become stuck at that point, unable to progress or stay with us. As shaman it is our jobs to go and seek these pieces out and bring them back. They are often emotional fragments which bring memories of ways of feeling back to us we have thought lost to us.
      There were too many journeys to relate here, but there was a journey in which I was brought back a staff of fire (which related to my ability to be brutally honest and be a more active warrior in my own life). Several took place in Egyptian style settings (either in the past or fantastical realms) which also fits with the card's background.
     Two journeys however were very pertinent to the topic of this card. The first was a journey I undertook for another. In the journey I found myself travelling to the Hopi reservation and confronting a person who had taken a piece of my partner. He didn't seem apologetic and tried to laugh it off as him just finding it, but didn't stop me retrieving the piece. When I returned to wakefulness I discussed this with my partner, she was struck by my physical description of the man and his mannerisms. She had indeed met this individual and had been through recent difficulties for which she had been forced to leave abruptly to avoid making the situation for herself worse. He had been involved in black magic and mistreatment and abuse of those who worked under him. After the journey we were both a little shaky from the experience as though it had been a physical interaction.
     I was thankful for the ability to stand up for another's rights and deal with the situation in a way I was proud of. I was able to be the spiritual crusader in this instance, even if I was informed that dealing further with this individual was not my job.
     The journey she did for me brought up several elements which have taken a while for my psyche to filter and deal with. In the journey I offered someone my heart in a town square, after which I was dismissed and rejected. My heart had turned to sand and run through my fingers. When she described it to me, it was initially difficult to understand the situation as there were several events it could pertain to, although none of them really took place that close to a town square. I put it aside to examine a little later at my leisure.
    Today after some introspection I sat down to look at my card and to understand how it fit into the scheme of things. The card itself shows a figure clad in armour astride a rearing horse. He holds his staff aloft as if it were a lance. The figure faces to the left of the card, which suggests he rides into adversity (against the usual flow). The yellow tabard he wears is covered with salamanders which are symbols of transformation and fire (see the King of Wands for a further discussion of these creatures). His armour has several flame like plumes adorning it, which are indicative of his fiery nature.
   As I regarded this character I realised that it related to the journeys I had been involved in over the weekend. Usually when you pull a court card it is a suggestion that it might be wise to embody some of the traits of the card if it doesn't directly pertain to another individual. In this case it was the former. It was advocating becoming a spiritual champion.  As I thought further about this I realised that I need to become my own champion as well as one for others.
    Many spiritual schools of thought advocate against vengeance, violence or acts of retribution. Yet this card seems to suggest that very notion. He rides forth with his club raised and he is prepared to do battle with adversity rather than passively accepting it. Common ways of thinking stand very much against the idea of the crusade or the Holy war or battle. It is often seen as an oxymoron. Yet when one looks at the pictures and hears the descriptions of angels we often find them depicted as carrying flaming swords. How can we as humans say that it is unspiritual to carry a weapon when the Arch-angels themselves do? The soft sanitised versions of angels we are bombarded with these days are corrupted interpretations of a divine force. Without them there is no divine justice, no karmic retribution and no peace. We must use the tools we have, but use them only in the application of right. The young knight in the picture runs the risk of being too zealous in his approach, but his motivations are pure and so will stop him from creating any real trouble.
    In my own journey for my partner I encountered a being clad in armour wielding a spear and a shield. She informed me that having a shield alone is not enough, that one must have an active defence against those that would seek to do harm.
    Looking then at my own fragmented soul I saw that what had been lost would not return unless it could be be promised safety and recompense for its own loss. Looking deeply at my wounded elements I began to see what they were and from where they came.
      The Town square is a place where people come together from all places and for me that place is best represented by the hostel. I worked there for many years and it was the site of my greatest sadness. A friend of mine whom I had loved dearly had spurned my friendship and turned her back on me. I realised that I had lost more than just a friend, it had also spelled the end of my belief in a benevolent universe. How could someone I cared for so deeply and offered no harm turn upon me so viciously. I lost a piece of myself that day. From that day on my universe had been plunged into a darkness so filled with ennui and hopelessness that I found it difficult to find reason to go on.
     Over the years I see glimpses what was lost occasionally. It manifests as a feeling of profound happiness that disappears as abruptly as a breeze. It is a weight that keeps me tied to the earth, stops my heart from lifting in song and ensures that ennui is never far from my door. My basic nature is one of optimism, even in spite of this weight and I have no doubt I will one day find a way to lift my spirits back to that point. I understand my mistake in trusting a person who would abuse my trust in such a fashion, yet that still doesn't help.
     This card though gave me an idea. I need to find that piece myself and make sure it is protected once more. I took it upon myself to give myself that piece of justice, to rescue those pieces back. I have no way of getting that back in the real world, no telephone number to call, no address or no email. So in journeying to find those elements is the only way it will happen. I journeyed back and was able to find the pieces, to take them back. Now comes the task of re-integrating them back into myself so I can feel them once again. For this there is no manual and I must trust to my own inner sense on how to do so. I do have the spiritual warrior to protect me from further harm and that in itself is a valuable lesson.
 
 
   

Knight of Cups. Idealism and the Holy Grail.

  The Knight of Cups is one of the court cards that I feel a connection to. This connection may lay somewhat in my past, but this card still holds a resonance for me.
    The Knight in the card reminds me of the Grail legends, of one of King Arthur's Knights. He has an air of chivalry and romance about him, dressed in armour of old bearing a chalice before him.
   In the legends, each of the Knights of the round table was charged with seeking the Holy Grail and returning to King Arthur's court at Camelot. Now depending on which legend you read, several of the Knights were successful in their quest to retrieve the Grail. These are typically Galahad, Percival and Gawain (although Bors was accounted to have witnessed it).
   Regardless, the idea of the virtuous knight on a holy quest is what resonates with this card and the figure therein. When I was younger, this archetype held a great deal of resonance. I am not sure if many boys still imagine themselves to be goodly knights, but it was the ideal that I looked up to.
   The idea of chivalry and good conduct, of virtue and honour was something I felt very deeply. I loved the stories and for me they represented the paragon of the male ideal. Someone strong, brave and powerful, but only willing to apply that to a virtuous cause.
     The knight in the card is astride a white charger, a symbol of innocence and virtue and he pauses before a river. The water shows that this is a sensitive individual, one given to dreaming of white knights and princesses...an idealist. The fishes on his tabard relate to dreams and this individual has a very active dream life, which he wears proudly.
     One element to note is that the knight has no weapons and rides only bearing the cup of his emotions. He rides for love alone and that he believes is all he needs. He is no cynic and he wears his heart on his sleeve, ready to trust and even to lay down his life for another if necessary. The wings upon his armour relate to the element of air and thus to intellect. While he may carry no sword, he is armoured as he understands that the world may not be able to live up to his ideals.
     The chalice itself is a holy vessel and relates to the sacred feminine. The quest for the holy grail was nothing other than a quest to find completion for the male aspect in ascendance. The attainment of the Grail was a symbol of the integration of the sacred feminine. As a result this character is in touch with his female side and while others may feel this makes him weak, it actually makes him whole.
    He is still a young knight though and this card relates more to the story of Percival the first time he finds the grail. In this tale, the young knight Percival is tasked by the dying king to find the grail so that he can restore the land that has been blighted. At the beginning of his journey the young knight finds the grail at a castle, but doesn't recognise it for its holiness and as a result is unable to obtain it. Once he leaves the castle, it promptly vanishes and the knight realises his error. The rest of the tale is of his quest to find his way back to the castle and retrieve it having many adventures along the way. He does succeed in the end and manages to return the land to virility and fullness, but only after a stretch of long arduous years.
       The knight has not reached maturity yet and although his ideals are true, they are untested in the world. The grail legends are actually an initiatory journey for the masculine spirit of the west, mirroring the journey each man needs to pass through before he can become whole. Many men never even begin their quest for understanding, a great deal are lost after achieving their initial goal and cannot bear to think they had the answer in their hands, but some do find wholeness and this is the path they take. These stories hold many keys to understanding the archetypal trials that every man must face in order to find wholeness. There are also such stories for women such as Beauty and the Beast and Cinderella which continue to live on and inspire.
    For me the card brings back my idealistic past, of how I believed the world could won through love alone. That one only needed high ideals and great moral fortitude in order to change the world. That part of me still lives on, but he is wiser now and has faced a great number of trials. Maybe at some point I will still be able to deliver the grail to the king and bring back vitality to the land.
    It is easy to become jaded, to be a cynic, to see life as nothing but dry and desiccated. These are the lost ones on the road, who have given up their quest and wait for be proven right as they are swallowed by their own empty oblivions. I still believe in magic and in hope, for without belief in these then there is no chance we will ever find them in our lives.
     

Queen of Pentacles. Love and materialism.

   The Queen of Wands is a card that I don't have a great deal of connection with.  Hopefully talking about her might yield some understanding.
    This earthy lady is a mix of watery emotion and grounded pragmatism. Her card is a quiet idyll in the sense of a storybook cottage complete with cute bouncing bunny and bordered in roses. To me it looks like a page from an illustrated children's book.
   Our Queen sits on a throne cradling a pentacle as if it were her baby. Now looking at all the Pentacle court cards, you can't help but notice that each of the figures is deeply absorbed with their own pentacle to the exclusion of anything else going on. Here the flora around her is starting to grow a little wild...a precursor to the overgrown garden that exists on the King's card. This absorption with the material realm is a common thread and I wonder quite what this means for the court cards of the Pentacles suit.
   I understand this to mean that these characters find it difficult to tear their attention away from their own material pursuits. They spend their time working on their careers, thinking about their belongings or homes and looking after their earthly concerns. But one thing to notice is that they really love their pentacles. It is not a damning indictment on materialism (for that see the four of pentacles), but speaks of the actual beauty of materialism.
    The Queen has a deep pink robe on over a white blouse, which is indicative of her innocence and deep love for the world. She wears a green cloak which stretches from her head to her feet and shows her abiding love and compassion. This really is one sweet lady who really cares.
   Her throne is adorned with fruit (apples, oranges and pears) symbolising the fruitful nature of the energy inherent in the card, you can also see several cherubs along with the head of a goat (Capricorn). The rabbit is a symbol of fecundity and abundance and links to both her outward timidity and her sexual nature.
   There is little to connect her to fire or air and as a result this can lead to a somewhat limited awareness of situations outside her own material sphere. At worst this can manifest itself as stodginess and she may lack a spark or inner brightness. More vibrant expansive signs or characters may find her a little sedate for their tastes, but this suits her just fine. She really is happy within her world. The lack of fire does not mean a lack of passion or spirituality, it simply means she connects to it through her earthy nature and strongly emotional character.
    What this card brings up for me is the question of materialism. The western culture has a heavy bias towards materialism, but has severed its ties to the earth. It has not reached the stage of the Queen of Pentacles, but is still languishing at the Knight. When people talk of materialism, there is often scorn in their voices and this is because of what it has come to mean to our common awareness.There is a deep wisdom in the Earth, this has been forgotten and has been replaced with a culture of convenience. Materialism for most people means losing touch with their inner nature, of being absorbed in their shallow lives and never looking beyond the next distraction. Of living for the paycheck or for the weekend.
   The deep wisdom is embodied by that love of the Earth, of loving our lives here and now. It is okay to love our possessions and our homes, our careers and our bodies. It is that love that we have forgotten. there is no love for our possessions, everything is disposable and we have been told to not connect with our materiality...that it is somehow bad and unspiritual.
    What is unspiritual is not loving our lives and all that is in them. When we love our possessions we treat them with honour, we live in an almost zen like state. Materialism is one of the ways we can express love in our lives and of course it stands to reason that it should not be the only way. Enjoying a new teapot is not equivalent to idolatry unless we recognise no other item or being as worthy of our love...and anyone who just loves their teapot is quite clearly not all there.

King of Wands. Transformation by fire.

 This card has been sat on my desk for almost a week while my life has taken several different turns and I had been unable to continue on with blogging. After I look at the card itself I will go into a little detail about these transitions and where I am at now.
   The King of Wands is often my card...let me explain. Each of the court cards represents a certain character type, often with an astrological aspect. My sun sign is Leo and Leo falls in several other areas in my chart. The King of Wands is representative of the fire signs and as can be seen a lion sits emblazoned on the throne just behind the King's head. Often when I do a reading and this card shows up, it symbolises for me my place in the reading or offers me some other insight.
    The King in this card appears almost to sit at the edge of his throne as if he is eager to be up and off. His gaze is fixed on the horizon and he is ready with his staff to be away and moving. As with all fire signs, sitting still is not a virtue they often readily possess and it needs to be cultivated. The little lizard at his feet is a perfect symbol of this quickness of character, never staying in one place too long and even when apparently basking can move with unnerving speed.
    This speedy motion should not be confused with a nervousness, the King has long since past cultivated a purpose and motivation for his actions. This King does not dither, he knows where he wants to be and has the drive and passion to get there. He has a burning desire to follow his passions and his purpose and that is what has him moving with alacrity. This character is not one that does well with periods of enforced waiting, especially if he feels he already has a goal on the horizon he needs to be getting to. This can be a weakness for this character, that of moving too quickly and before things are fully in motion.
   The King wears a red robe which speaks of his passion and vigour which is openly on display, the green mantle on his shoulders shows that this activity is compassionate, caring and heart based. The yellow and orange cloak he wears along with his sandstone throne all speak of his bright and upbeat nature which is openly on display. The King has no hidden motives and cannot abide duplicity, his speech is forthright and to the point.
   The throne and his cloak have symbols of both lions and salamanders covering them. The lion is a symbol of courage, strength, royalty and has great alchemical significance as it appears in several forms in the alchemical process of individuation. Its devouring qualities are highly transformative, as being devoured has the connotations of death and rebirth through a destructive breaking down and reforming of the self. Just think of the many tales of the hero being devoured or swallowed before being released at their destination (such as Jonah and the Whale). The salamander is also a symbol of transformation through rebirth in flames. Like the mythical phoenix the salamander is also birthed in the flames of purification. The phoenix must die in the fire in order to be reborn, but the salamander is immune to the fire and flame by virtue of its resilience and was reputed to be able to quench flames such was its affinity. A greater understanding of the fire signs leads to the understanding of transformation through being tempered by the fire, or re-forged.
    The phoenix is related to Scorpio and therefore rebirth through spiritual death. The lion and salamander are related to Leo and transformation through being reforged or tempered. This is a nuanced difference as it doesn't require the destruction of the prima materia to become something new, but has a regenerative quality. In layman's terms transformation through death requires the complete destruction of prior form, as being reduced to ash and a new form arising from the ash. Transformation through flame is when the destructive qualities of the flame bring out a regenerative aspect in the element...a good example being the cowardly lion in the wizard of oz. He transforms through a difficult situation which brings forth latent qualities in him, unlike the Scarecrow who has to be dismembered in order to be reborn.
   The meaning behind this of course is that the King is a much transformed individual although at some level he remains the same, his worldly travails and adventures have tempered and reformed him.
     The past and current situations in my life have definitely been such for me. I undertook a Celtic Shamanic workshop a week back and it has opened up a whole new realm of understanding for me. I have found connection to a level of grounded spirituality that has been unavailable to me for the longest time. It has connected me to my roots in way I wasn't sure was possible. Being of dual heritage, Italian and English has mostly been a boon to me, but there have been a few areas that were not all positive. I have found it hard to find my own roots without being able to call either place fully home. Having an Italian name constantly reminded me of my difference growing up. I grew up in a predominantly white area, but to label it as that would be woefully inaccurate. Growing up in England people seemed unaware of such differences, the primary differences being that of class or income. Never-the-less I was seen as a minority and not in a bad way given that the majority of Italian stereotypes are mostly positive, but instead my heritage was always dismissed when it did come up. I would hear, you aren't Italian you are English..or similar sentiments. Then on the other hand I would be expected to understand and speak Italian from others and to be familiar with the Italian way of life, or the fact that military service in Italy was a strong possibility if I ever wanted to live in Italy during my youth. Somehow I got it into my mind that my connection was somewhat faulty on the Italian side.
    But in doing this course I realised that my deep connection to all things Italian was fine and healthy, I felt more connected to Ancient Greek mythology (The south of Italy was actually part of the Greek civilization when it was thriving and it was likely that many great "Greek" thinkers actually lived there (Pythagorus definitely was!)). Instead it was my understanding of my English roots that was unsure. I will discuss this more later on a post dedicated to Celtic spirituality.
  What this did do however was cause me to question several things deeply. At the same time events in the "real" world were also picking up speed...or should I say losing momentum.  Our money diminished to zero. The job Zoe was counting on for some income continued to push back her actual start date and the jobs I have lined up are not beginning until November. For the first time in my life I went to bed hungry without any real option to do anything but hope the next day would bring new hope. The workshop had brought up lots of things to work through and I found meditating extremely difficult, so no reprieve there. Then my graphics card exploded with a loud crack putting my computer out of commission. I was able to use Zoe's little laptop to check mail, but was unable to continue blogging or using the internet. Facebook also decided that it wasn't going to give me any updates or emails for 3 or 4 days (I didn't realise this until they all arrived at once).
     Luckily my family came to our rescue and have gifted us with enough money to make it through the next week or so and for me to start providing healing treatments at a local business once I drum up some clients.
     This card really does symbolise how I feel...ready to go. I feel as though I am sat at the edge of my seat, ready to go forward, but unable to until November. I am hoping that these situations are bringing out qualities in me that will transform me into a better person. We have certainly been through a fire and chewed up by our situation, we just hope it will spit us out somewhere positive!
   
 

Queen of Cups. Pandora's box and emotions.

   When I first drew this card I felt relatively nonplussed by this card and unconnected to the figure or the symbolism of the card. After a day of introspection on the card its meaning for me became very clear and actually held the key to a problem I have struggled with for some time. Before I get into the depth of my own personal interaction I want to take you through the general meaning and symbolism of the card.
        The Queen of Cups is the embodiment of watery emotion, connected to the astrological water signs Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces. She sits upon her stone throne with a sea view, yet her gaze is fastened upon the strange chalice she bears in her hands. All the court cards in the suit of cups creep closer and closer to the water, until the King of Cups sits above it. Here the Queen sits at the waters edge, the tide lapping at her feet.
        Coloured stones lay at her feet in subdued reds, greens and blues. The throne she sits on is decorated with motifs of watery looking merfolk. The one above her head gazes upon her with an angry look on his face, the one behind her appears disinterested and the one on the side appears happy with his catch. These tiny elementals show the fickle temperament of the water signs, happy, then sad, then angry. All the water signs are at the mercy of their inner ocean, their emotions moving like the tides and never still. Even the solid looking throne is sat at the edge of the sea, ready to be submerged should the tides rise. The cliffs behind her, solid as they are, can still be eroded by the constant movement of the water.
         The Queen herself wears an ornate crown, which seems to match the even more ornate cup she holds. She wears a plain white dress with simple stitching up the side and a cloak with a water like pattern on the side. There is a level of innocence and purity about the Queen, as if she was not meant for all the harshness of the world and her clothing represents that watery nature in its pastel hues. There is a pale violet clasp at her throat which shows that there is a connection to a deeply intuitive knowing to which she is able to give voice.
      Of most interest is the expression upon her face, which appears to encapsulate sadness, disappointment, wonder and longing as she looks upon the cup. The cup itself appears of a fearsome design and what at first can be mistaken to be sharp talons, actually appear to be angels on closer inspection. This I feel represents the apparently cruelty and fickleness of the ocean and the incisive intuitive nature of the water signs (Scorpio....I am looking at you in particular) which can be either healing or damaging. The Queen ponders this golden contraption in her hand as if it may contain either the answers to all secrets or cruel horrors to be unleashed upon the world, or like Pandora's box...both.
     For me the Chalice is what draws my eye most in this card. It represents the secret, the unknown mystery of the emotionally complex woman. For all her apparent innocence, she holds in her hands a great key, that of  emotional insight. This emotional insight can be a terrible thing to unleash, or a beautiful gift and the Queen has the unenviable task of trying to figure this out before delving into her own depths and opening her feelings up to the world.
     We spent the day at a lake walking along the waters edge and finding clams, crawdad scraps and fishing lures. It seemed a good place to contemplate the Queen of Cups and it really felt as though we were walking along a beachfront, albeit a cold windy one. This strange synchronicity is just one of the many I am encountering on a daily basis as I explore the tarot and my own understandings of the cards.
      This card for me, has opened it's own Pandora's box and I wish to share some emotional events from my own past. When I look upon the card, it reminds me of my own mother, who happens to be Cancerian and prone to their very sensitive but emotional natures. Typically a Cancer is particularly driven by their emotional mood swings and becomes more overwhelmed by them than arguably any other sign. My mother embodies all the elements of this card, she is very sensitive and intuitive, kind, compassionate and loving. She is capable of feeling all emotions fully and deeply and anyone around her cannot help but feel them through her.
    When I was relatively young, my parents (both Cancerians) went through a particularly difficult financial period that lasted late into my teenage years. They did their best to shield us from seeing the worst of it and always made sure the home was a comfortable place to be and that we lacked nothing of creature comforts.
    Yet, there was one thing they could not shield me from which was their own disappointment in how things had turned out for them. The sadness and disappointment in the air was always tangible as it is around a Cancerian. For a young Leo, searching for encouragement and attention I felt living in this cloud of disappointment was very difficult for me and I internalised a great deal of it. I grew to feel that it was me they were disappointed in, for what young child can differentiate between what they feel and what their parents are feeling? For me seeing my own mother in a place of suffering that I could do nothing about gave me a deep sense of powerlessness.
   This carried across for me, for as soon as I was able I started to fulfill that disappointment myself. My grades soon dropped below average and I felt a constant disappointment to both my teachers and my parents. I can recall the disappointed looks on the faces of my teachers and parents when I arrived at parent's evenings when they would ask why I was not performing as well as someone of my intelligence was obviously capable of.
    I now realise that this sense of failure and disappointing others comes really only from my own ill-conceived  perceptions as a child. I know my parents are proud of me and spoken to me of such feelings and that what I picked up was simply their quite understandable feelings at the time. With this realisation comes a sense of liberation from this and the knowledge that I am capable and do not need to let myself or anyone else down. Not that I consciously did this, but this underlying belief is strong enough to cause problems with confidence in anyone.
   I am choosing to let go of the old belief that I am a disappointment and embrace the knowledge that I am capable and competent and that there are people in my life who are proud to know me.
 

Knight of Pentacles. Pragmatism and the work ethic.

Before I drew this card I asked for "the card I most had to learn from". This pragmatic and very practical knight is someone I indeed can learn a lot from.
    The suit of Pentacles is linked to the material element of earth and the Knight in this instance is related to the airy part of earth. He is a mix of intellectual and pragmatist, a clever individual who knows exactly what he wants and it can be found right here on earth.
   He is clear in what he wants and has the determination to get it, sometimes even to the detriment of anyone who gets in his way as he bulls his way to his goals. His horse is a solid black, strong as an ox and very sturdy. This horse would as happily carry the knight to war as it would pull a plough through a field. Both the horse and his rider are very physical as you can tell by the profusion of red trappings both are wearing.
   The Knight has his gaze firmly locked on the pentacle in his upturned palm as if by turning his iron gaze on the coin it will grant him the ability to sniff out the next opportunity. His mouth is set and determined and he is either just finished with a task or about to start a new one. He is not one to waste his time with idle dreaming when he could be out doing.
        He wears a solid unadorned suit of plate mail, completely functional, the only trim is a green garland which symbolises his past successes. He is not interested in anything but the here and now and what can be gained in this present moment. He is lacking a solid connection to the spiritual or emotional aspects of life, so he finds his purpose here on Earth. At worst he has the self assurance of the materially sufficient and the spiritually void, self satisfied he already holds the answer to all his problems in his hand.
    Behind him sits a freshly ploughed field ready to be planted with fresh new crops and it wouldn't surprise me if he had ploughed it himself this morning before donning his armour.
    As all Knights do in the Tarot, they represent messengers of their own element. In this case the knight brings financial tidings, either positive or negative depending on the surrounding cards or the intuitive feeling that accompanies the card.
   For me personally the card meant one very important thing. The arrival or delay of news regarding my finances. I have not been gainfully employed for nearly 6 months now after leaving my last job because of an inner urging and trusting in the universe and my own guides. The Knight of Pentacles would have been shaking his head and tutting if I had asked him his advice in this economy. The time has given me the space to work out many different things I needed to work out and for this blog to grow and to one day flourish. I have reconnected to my artwork after 10 years and moved through a lot of personal obstacles.
    It seems though that this period is coming to a close as I sensed at the beginning of October, both for inner and outer reasons. I have been steadily applying for jobs since August and hearing very little back. We are in danger of not meeting the rent this month and my guides are asking me to do a course in the middle of the month...which is not free. I have said ok to doing the course, even though the money is currently not present.
    I have ridden into many box canyons on my journey, trusting in my guidance to deliver me (certainly when they ask me to ride into them!). Every time it gets a little easier to trust, but as the money runs low tensions can run high.
    So when I get this card I start to wonder if the knight is just telling me to be utterly pragmatic and just take any job...or that I will have good tidings. Being utterly pragmatic in my life has led me into many difficult situations so I have been loathe to do so. That feeling alone has led me to some of the worst jobs in my life, jobs that do not nourish my sense of self, jobs that have me questioning my very worth. My family has very working class roots, my father was raised as an uneducated goat farmer in the south of rural Italy and my mother's side of the family worked in service and manufacturing, my mother being the first in her line to get a college degree. I was raised in Yorkshire in the UK and for those who do not understand what that means, it is a region once dominated by mining and mills. Our school trips were invariably bleak investigations of either farming or textile mills still strong with the resonance of children losing their lives and limbs in huge looms, working 12 hour days for the ability to survive. So the idea of pure pragmatism has some very negative connotations for me and as a result it is hard for me to see clearly in these situations. Monty Python does a great sketch with 4 Yorkshire men each complaining about how hard their lives have been  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo
      With this in mind..I was hoping it was the good tidings, but a bleak holdover still intoned the likelihood of the former. What is the chance that after so many months I would get work at the same time as the card? So I put the card aside until I could feel a little more connected to the message the card had to say, without these dire feelings influencing them. I let go of the thoughts and feelings and gave way to trust and hope once again.
     This morning the phone rang at 9am and I ran into our living room to find that it was one of the jobs calling to let me know that if I wanted work I could have a job starting next month. Its a job shoveling snow, but it gives me the opportunity to move out of the situation I am in and still have the time and mental energy to work on what I really love to work on.  It was the job I was hoping for because it will be outside, physical and that is what I need right now as a counter to working indoors at a computer. I feel that the knight was bringing me good tidings after all...I just had to hold on and remain faithful.

Queen of Swords. The independent woman.

   Drawing the Queen of Swords completes for me the court cards of the suit of Swords. As with all the Queen cards she represents the feminine aspect of rulership. In this set she is the active competent while the King is the passive.
     The Queen herself is obviously an independent woman quite capable of taking care of the matters of the kingdom. She is facing to the right on the card and looking to the future, her hand raised as if bidding another to rise, or to gesture onwards or upwards.
   She wears a cloak of clouds which indicates that she is still connected to her feminine intuitive nature, even with the mantle of leadership placed upon her. The White robe beneath it shows the clarity and purity of her thoughts, but don't confuse that with naivete or innocence. The upright swords represents martial power and is reminiscent of the Justice card, showing she is quite capable to meting out force when necessary. One thing to notice is that the sword is creating a barrier between herself and whomever she is addressing.
    This figure still feels it necessary to keep people at a distance with a show of naked steel (her intellect). The clouds and wind behind her show there is still a great deal of emotional content, even though she is quite capable of rising above it when necessary (the gesture indicates this). The bird above her head shows that she occupies this space a lot of the time and can be solitary in nature. These aspects indicate the need to rise above emotional situations in order to advance.
    Again we can see a lot of butterfly symbolism showing transformation and evolution. In this instance I feel it indicates being able to transform emotionally volatile situations by rising above them. She is much more connected to her intuitive side than the King, shown by the face of the Cherub on the side of the Throne. In his card the cherub is small, whereas here he occupies a large place on the side of the throne and therefore in her methods of rulership.
  She wears a head scarf of orange and the lining of the cloak is also orange, though these are a subdued colour. This indicates she is still in touch with her emotions, even if they are somewhat hidden or covered by the trappings of rulership.
   In general this card I feel shows the modern ideal of a personally liberated woman as viewed by society. That she is able to hold her own in arenas that are often (myopically) seen to be the sole province of men. She is still able to firmly keep hold of her femininity in spite of the phallic nature of the suit of swords. Both this suit and that of wands are typically male elements (fire and air) and both Queens in those decks have mastered this energy without losing their innate nature as women.
      Whenever I have drawn this card before it has often symbolised my own wife Zoe. The idea of being an independently minded woman has figured very large in her life and like for many of us is a work in progress. Her chosen career is that of a writer, which fits in with the indications of this card, along with her Libran nature (again connections to the Justice card). At the moment she is reading a book which she is finding empowering for her femininity in a way that has not been present in her own life.
      I do think that there are a great many challenges to women who chose to rise above the legacy that patriarchy has left behind. I like to hope that there are less obstacles to women achieving a  level of personal liberation than there has been previously. It takes a level of courage, for both men and women to step beyond the roles that society defines for us. A good female friend of mine wishes to raise a family and struggles with the idea of being a mother and primarily a mother. She was a strong feminist for some years and the idea of setting down and raising a family somewhat chafes at her, even though she would make a great mother.
      It seems that for many women, that there is a constant struggle in many roles and regardless of what they choose have lots of extra barriers to overcome. I think her choice to be a devoted mother is a totally valid choice and a sacred trust. I see that this new-found independance for many women leaves them in a place in which there is no safe ground in which to feel comfortable, either they become career women and face the danger of trying to fit an old patriarchal model. Or if they decide to become a mother who wishes to raise their children they supposedly fly in the face of their independence.
         In the end the Queen of swords is showing us just one facet of female empowerment and it not so much matters if we are male or female, but whole.

King of Swords. Pure mental awareness.

 The King of  Swords is the culmination of the court cards for the suit of Swords. Looking at the line of characters from the Page to the King one can  see a progression, as though the court cards mature.
   The King sits upon his throne looking straight at the viewer, the only court card in the deck to do so. This suggests a level of awareness not present in the other cards and therefore present in whomever the card may represent. The winds behind him are indicative of the air element, so strong in the other cards now stand still in this card .This stillness of mind is indicative of awareness. It is not the blank stillness of a dullard, but the pure awareness of the moment. His posture on the throne is one of confident relaxed authority, his sword resting on his shoulder and no longer in a threatening position as one finds in the other air Court Cards.
      The sky is a brilliant blue as are his robes and the strength of these blues represents the King's ability to communicate his ideas in a precise and straightforward manner. The cloak of red suggests his ability to move quickly and with passion, should the need arise. The purple cloak above it shows that his is more likely to use his royalty and divine authority before it comes to taking aggressive action.
    His crown has a cherubic face adorning the front showing his divine ordination, even though his attributes are more mental in nature. His realm is that of air, thought and connection to divine mind through his mastery of stillness. He is a fellow you would not want to play chess against!
    The butterflies and faeries on the back of the throne link him to transformation and magical realms, even though this is clearly behind him and he not a fellow to be lost in idle daydreaming. He accesses them as a resource to augment his already considerable mental faculties. Such dreamy connections are better left to the court of cups, for him they are a source of potent information.
      For me the card represents the witnessing quality available to us when the mind has quietened and we are no longer blown by the winds. That stillness of mind cannot be overlooked as it permits a great level of control over ones reactions to inner and outer stimuli. Last night I met with a metaphysical meet up group and was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the company and the thoughtfulness of all present.
     One element that came up several times was the difficulty in keeping ones feelings and boundaries intact when venturing into the deeper territories of the psyche. For me I have been grateful for the fruits of my own meditation practice as this has given me the tools to quiet my own mind and find space to look upon every factor without being unduly influenced. The King of swords is the perfect teacher of that state. You cannot imagine him being ruffled by anything that appeared before him. He would simply look upon it as a phenomenon and act accordingly, be it a fairy or a fearsome beast from the subconscious.
    I spent a while trying to find an example in my life to date that  I could put my finger on and state he or she is like the King of Swords. In the end he is a perfect exemplar of that mind state of stillness that can serve so well, in inner or outer life.

Page of Swords. The rebel.

  The pages are the youngest of the court cards and although they are typically seen as male, they can also be viewed as women or as young children. I prefer to imagine them as having more female energy as this balances out the court cards in terms of male and female. In some decks, the Pages are known as Princesses.
   Regardless, looking at this page you could imagine the figure as either male or female. The figure suggests youthfulness and a level of naivete. The grip on the sword is not firm and suggests lack of experience, even if it is made prominent by raising it high. The bright colours of the garments speak of youth with vivid yellows and reds, both symbols of vitality and vibrancy.
   The Pages are also seen as messengers, while the page of swords is often seen as a messenger of somewhat ill or unfortunate news. The reason for this is that the figure is turning against the wind, which is often seen as a symbol of the divine...an invisible force that is present everywhere. While the youth has not built up the courage to run headlong into the wind like the slightly more mature Knight, there is definitely a sparkle in her eye which suggests she is thinking about it.
   The swords symbolising mental thought, are often arrayed against the instinctual forces. It is the part of us that animals have not mastered to our level. It is only thought that allows us to turn against these instinctual forces, for good or for ill. But only through exercising one's thoughts and will does one learn to really become an individual and not simply a slave to our instincts.
    The birds above her are flying together and are moving in the same direction as her thoughts. This suggests a herd or flock mentally still present in the mind and not the full development of individuality, which is often very present in the young. They show her slightly rebellious demeanor. The clouds also swell in an curve, suggesting the movement along with the wind then a turning back. The clouds are symbolic of emotional turmoil (water and air..emotion and thought) and as yet they have not developed into a storm.
    This card reminds me of an individual I encountered yesterday. I went to play a local pick-up game of soccer. It was a rag tag bunch of guys, varying from teens to guys in their sixties. I am sad to say they could all run around for longer on the field than I, but we all had a good time. The youngest guy there was somewhere in his teens and when I drew this card I immediately thought of him.
    He was an excellent player, if somewhat cocksure and overconfident. His attitude was somewhat reminiscent of the figure in the card, that he was eager to prove himself on the field and held a somewhat rebellious nature. Like the figure in the card he seemed untested and somewhat in awe of his own perceived prowess. The young page stands tall on his mound, ready to face the world, yet he does not have the spurs of the knight, nor his battle tested armour. That is where the danger lies in this card and with this archetype, he is somewhat similar to The Fool, yet without the universe standing at his back. A callow and untested youth, but with all their vibrancy, rebelliousness and as yet unbowed by the challenges of the world.

Knight of Swords. Mental activity.

   I drew the knight of swords after what I felt like was a pretty hit-and-miss kind of day. The blowing winds on the cards were certainly matched by the rain and lightning storms that were prevalent through the day and we did enough charging about too! We went out for lunch with a friend and ended up being chased by wind,lightning and rain in an attempt to find a dry spot good hike. We were rained back into the vehicle numerous times and at several stops, although we did get to see a snake laying across the path enjoying the warmth of the asphalt. He certainly seemed in no rush.
   Anyway...the court cards often represent people and I often am unsure how to fit them into a reading especially if they fall by themselves. The readings I do tend to be short on personal info and more about situations and how to bypass them, so when I encounter a court card it is kind of like finding an Uno card in my poker hand.
   The knight on the horse certainly seems to be in a hurry to get somewhere, so hurriedly he only had time to put on one glove. He races into the winds, his sword raised and a look of panic on his horse's face. Maybe he is racing back and forth with no real destination, looking for a way to be useful. The birds above his head also seem to display the same lack of cohesion and the card seems to speak of hurrying, almost for hurrying's sake. The birds adorning his cloak and on the horse's barding suggest a  flightiness..certainly coupled with the butterflies which in this card only emphasise that particular element rather than bringing in any real transformation.
     The suit of swords represents thoughts and mental activity and I am reminded of my own thoughts..although to say thoughts would be a misnomer. During a meditation late last night I asked about how I could learn to see in greater clarity with regards to seeing energy and clairvoyantly. It is not that I cannot, but it is as though a gauze is over my eyes. The answer came that I need to cleanse the visual impressions away from my mind more regularly. Sure enough, when I relaxed into it I saw the activities of the day dancing before my eyes. I had spent quite a bit of time playing a video game and all I could see was the back and forth movement of the game, as if I was an incredibly indecisive hummingbird. In the game the character is stuck on a deserted island and plagued by zombies and now all I could see was my frantic scrambling up and down pathways and the constant shifting of scenes. I had intended to run a second blog about reviewing games along side this one, but I get the impression it may well be too much of a stretch. I may end up like the knight on horseback..running back and forth on a mental level to try and make everything work.
        The knights often represent masculine active energy and in this instance those brought into play in the mind. In this particular combination it is not particularly helpful and can suggest a frenetic situation, they often can be regarded as messengers of whichever energy they serve.
    Maybe the knight is simply showing me the futility of frantic action with no real cause, which is certainly a good reflection of the day in which nothing of any real substance was achieved. In the end I just chalked it up to being one of those days!